to ask you to stop me making a mistake

[PyongyangKipperbang]

A man I fell in love with took me for granted and then dumped me because I copped on and laid out my boudaries.
I am just moving on from the nice way we were, its been a struggle but I'm nearly there.

I knew he would miss me and now he does. He wants us to meet up as "mates" and I really want to, but I know I shouldnt. Stop me, please.

Worse than just using you for sex, he will want to use you for the validation and ego boost of thinking he can have you whenever he wants, that your boundaries don't mean anything, and that he can make you act against your own interests in order to serve his.

Don't let him anywhere near you. Block on everything and do not answer the door. You have to be completely clear. Detach, block, delete, remove him from any remote possibility of contact with you. It'll get very easy, very fast.

He messaged this morning and apolgised for coming round last night. I said that if it happens again I wont be answering the door. I said that I was ok being "mates" in that if we run into each other (we have a lot of mutual friends) there will be no hard feelings and we can chat and be ok with each other but thats as far as it goes.

Sober him was contrite and said he understood, and I am sure he means it, but had-a-few-drinks him will probably think differently so we shall see......

And thank you all.

The thought of letting you lot down was far more of a push to tell him to sod off than anything I could tell myself :o

Stay strong, @PyongyangKipperbang. Even sober and contrite and superficially more appealing, contact with this man doesn’t do you any favours in terms of detaching from him. Plus Drunk Him is likely to see ‘I won’t be opening the door next time’ as a challenge.

@PyongyangKipperbang

And thank you all.

The thought of letting you lot down was far more of a push to tell him to sod off than anything I could tell myself :o

I like the idea of Mn as a sort of viper-y collective conscience, hissing ‘Cop on to yourself!’ in moments of wobble.

I have removed him from SM and wont be contacting him. He knows I mean it but as you say, drunk him (he doesnt actually drink very often) might see it differently.

I think the main issue is that instead of being upset and fighting to keep him I took him at his word when he dumped me. I dropped his stuff and his key off and havent been in touch at all. I suspect that this was not how it was supposed to play out, I was supposed to be heartbroken and keep in touch with him and then he could magnanimously agree to take me back as long as I do what he wants when he wants. And that hasnt happened.... ah well

Last night a mate of ours asked me up to theirs for an impromptu celebration and I went, he was there. We talked and all was fine. Asked me back to his and I said "thanks but no thanks" and went home. Mutual friend tells me that he has made a fuss about blocking me, except he hasnt.....wtf?! Not bothered at all but finding it amusing that our friends think he is being a dick and I got a "dont tell him" invitation from another mutual friend for a week on saturday :o

Hurray for you and your friends :)

Tell him you have plenty of friends and block him out of your life 😅