What makes someone mature / immature?

[ILikeYourHair]

What kind of behaviour, lifestyle, worldviews and characteristic do they have?

People have such different meaning to things....

One element of immaturity in my view is a refusal to take responsibility for what you’ve done.

Inability to see the big picture

Agree @adeleh

I was coming in to say maturity is owning your mistakes, and weaknesses, and realising they don't define you.

A sign of immaturity is when someone is unable to accept criticism or different points of view and grow from it.
Other traits: self-absorbed, dramatic, overly concerned about what other people think.

Inability to accept delayed gratification or to see others point of view. Selfishness. Bragging. Obsession with brand names. Inability put in an effort with work, friend, family and education. Saying hurtful things to others on a regular basis but overreacting to even mild criticism of themselves. Narcissism. Being unprofessional and bad coworker at work. Inability to cook, clean and do everyday administration.

Having tantrums at the slightest thing, sulking.

I would agree with taking responsibility but would also add self awareness. I remember a friend telling me her sister was quite immature and had decided not to have kids because in her own words she was ‘too lazy and wanted to live the single life with holidays and partying as much as she liked’ and her job which was a travel type of job.

I disagreed and thought this type of self awareness was actually incredibly mature - to think ‘I don’t think being a mum would suit me, at least not right now, so I’ll take precautions and won’t be pressured by a boyfriend to commit to things I don’t want to.’

A huge feature of immaturity to me is thinking you’re the centre of the world. I remember a colleague once being out on late shifts with me (so working until 7pm) and she huffed when we were cleaning up ‘this is so annoying, I like working the early shift and going home at 4, you get left with all the cleaning on this shift.’ Well, yeah, none of us like the late shift, that’s why we take turns a week on a week off, which you were aware of when you accepted the job. Otherwise just the same people would be stuck with all the rubbish shifts. But it was like it had never occurred to her that others also didn’t enjoy doing all the heavy evening jobs.

Immaturity is a lack of critical thinking. Being easily influenced. Not thinking things through properly. Not accepting responsibility. Wanting to be liked too much. Clouded judgement.

Maturity is pretty much the opposite.

Immaturity includes a lack of critical thinking and seeing how others may be affected by one's actions. It can involve a small world view which is what I think leads to 'drama' and ineffective, or disproportionate handling of issues or perceived slights.

Maturity includes the ability to manage adverse events, criticism and setbacks with a sense of proportion and not necessarily stoicism or stiff upper lip, but certainly resilience, seeking help if needed rather than being emotionally overwhelmed easily.

Being mature means being able to step back from your emotional side and see all the potential consequences of an action. It also means taking full responsibility for the consequences of your actions or decisions.

It means knowing what really matters in a situation and behaving accordingly.

Other traits: self-absorbed, dramatic, overly concerned about what other people think

Majority of MN posters then.

I think gossiping and nosiness are a sign of immaturity

I agree, gossiping certainly is. And flying into a huff because something isn't done exactly how you would do it.

Immaturity can also be not regulating your emotional responses, like flying into a rage because you’re unhappy with someone or hugely overreacting.

Having a static group of friends as an adult with little deviation from the "clique". My sister and her husband have a group of friends like this and it reminds me of school. So much dramatic nonsense as they're all involved in each other's lives and know far too much about each other. Every time she's talking about some drama or another (which is a LOT) I find myself thinking "why don't you all just grow up?!"

Not naturally considering what impact your action has on those around you.

My 18 year old brother has moved in with us, and it's the lack of consideration that is our biggest issue, and I believe it just comes with maturity.

He leaves cupboard doors open, doesn't clear up after himself in communal areas, comes home late and drunk, making noise, knocking things over, leaving lights on.
He will eat all the food in a cupboard, without think who else may need it etc.

He's a lovely guy, kind and funny. But the instinct to think before doing a thing hasn't kicked in yet

@LBirch02

I think gossiping and nosiness are a sign of immaturity

I really disagree with this. I think the other traits posted on this thread - lack of taking responsibility, lack of awareness, refusing to own up to mistakes - is definitely immature but why gossiping?

Almost everything people discuss is "gossip". Think about conversations you have with your family - if you're not talking about politics you're probably gossiping: who's engaged, who's got a new job etc.

Gossiping is just an exchange of information. And sociologists believe there are a number of sociological benefits.

*"are" not "is"

Emotional intelligence or lack of it.

My 8 year old has a lot of emotional intelligence for her age

My 65 year old Mil has zero

Regarding 'gossiping' -

'Did you hear that Suzie was getting married, she will make a lovely bride'- positive information passing.

'Did you see the bailiffs go round to Suzie? Wonder what's going on there?' - low emotional intelligence gossiping

Not recognising when you've made a mistake and taking steps for it to not happen again. I include in this things like drinking too much. I know someone who sees it as a badge of honour that once she starts drinking she wont stop and laughs about it. I find that very immature

I think immaturity is sitting back in the expectation that someone else will to solve your problems. Not believing that you have a responsibility to sort out or fix anything for yourself.

@Shoxfordian

Immaturity can also be not regulating your emotional responses, like flying into a rage because you’re unhappy with someone or hugely overreacting.

This can also be a symptom of attention deficit disorder.

I would say immaturity includes thinking you need to get plastered to have a good time, and judging by the size of your hangover what a good time you had. Also judging people by how attractive you think they are.

@sessell

Immaturity is a lack of critical thinking. Being easily influenced. Not thinking things through properly. Not accepting responsibility. Wanting to be liked too much. Clouded judgement.

Maturity is pretty much the opposite.

This is my MIL to a tee