To not want to be referred to as his “friend”?

[SingaporeSling01]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months plus. He’s 51 and I’m 39 and we both have children from our previous marriages. We are both in the process of divorce, his being very acrimonious. When he talks about me to his family (brothers, parents etc) he refers to me as being his “friend” rather than girlfriend or partner. This irks me as I feel like they will view me as a tag along in the sidelines. Or am I being silly to think a label matters.

YANBU at all OP. My parents used to do this about my ex boyfriend introduce him as a ‘friend’ as they had difficulty accepting the relationship

I imagine he’d feel foolish referring to his girlfriend at his age and you’re not his partner. I won’t tell you what mine humorously called me in the early days!

I isnreally difficult actually, there isn't a word that works. You can't have a "girlfriend" at 51 and partner implies something more serious than a man still going through an acrimonious divorce can have.

You're both married. Friend is as good as it gets.

I understand why it makes you feel that way, but two things jumped out at me. First, 6 months is quite new. Does he refer to you as his "girlfriend" to other people? (Or "partner" though personally it feels a bit early to be described as a partner)

Second, maybe just doesn't want to fan the flames of an acrimonious divorce.

Have you talked to him about why he does this and where he sees your relationship?

I’d think he’s trying to get threw the next bit without causing unnecessary rocking of the boat .. divorce is hideous at the best of times , never heard of saying I have a younger GF as a short cut to a peaceful divorce! Hang in there if you feel he’s worth it !

At 6 months I wouldn't stress. Particularly if his divorce is turbulent.

I'd start stressing at a year, but not at 6 months. Not if his actions indicate you are his girlfriend.

However, I would caution against jumping in too fast with a man who is going through an acrimonious divorce. You will 100% be dragged in.

How long is he seperated and why is it so acrimonious? Does he have school age children?

It strikes me that you haven't exactly picked an easy situation to place yourself into.

Six months isn't that long and he's in the middle of an acrimonious divorce - unless there are other issues I wouldn't consider this a red flag. His family will know what "friend" means by the way he speaks about you. He won't have to shout.

Divorce is one of the most difficult events to navigate. So I wouldn't rush this relationship.