How would you handle this?

7 replies

Honeycomb129 · 10/09/2021 08:57

My 7 year old son his autism and just started year 3 the class room assistant he had in year 2 has changed classes to his year 3 class, but when I took him to school he called her fat face which I told him was wrong cos we don’t call people names like that and she told me no it’s okay it’s a secret game we have together which 1. I found wrong that they shouldn’t be having secrets

He doesn’t understand that he can’t call other people it cos he calls her it he thinks it’s okay

He’s now got into trouble for calling another child fat face which I agree he should be in trouble for this but I feel if the class room assistant hadn’t made it a fun secret game he wouldn’t now think it was okay to use? How would you deal with this situation she’s really nice and don’t want to complain to get her in trouble?

OP posts:

Yodelayhehoo · 10/09/2021 09:01

If you don't want to raise it to anyone higher etc I would have a word with her and explain he doesn't understand how it's not nice towards other people but it's fine to her and if she could change it to something else.
And seeing how he's got in trouble for it you want to reduce that going forward as tbh it's not his fault.
Bit of a weird thing for her to have as a secret word etc.

multivac · 10/09/2021 09:05

Having 'secrets' with a child in your care, for whatever reason, is an instant safeguarding red flag; as an TA/LSA she should be aware of this, and if she isn't, then it is best for her, as well as your son, that her training is topped up asap.

It doesn't have to be confrontational - but I would raise it with the SENCo, and ask for support.

Whinge · 10/09/2021 09:06

I would email the teacher to discuss the issue, and make it clear that you find her behaviour unacceptable. The TA is being incredibly unprofessional encouraging your child to use language which is then getting him into trouble in different situations, as well as keeping secrets.

I think this is definitely a time to complain.

Original poster

Honeycomb129 · 10/09/2021 11:53

Thank you all for your advice I’m going to ring the school and have a chat with the senco and just ask if they can have a chat with her and stop the game. I just feel bad getting her into trouble but he has to come first.

OP posts:

MaryHadALittleRam · 10/09/2021 11:56

bloody hell 'a secret game' someone needs a lot more training before they work with children

Kakser · 10/09/2021 12:03

@Whinge

I think this is definitely a time to complain.

Teachers don't line manage TAs and might not be best placed to handle this. Going through the head, deputy or SENCO would probably be better.

LittleMissMe99 · 10/09/2021 14:46

Ahh no she cant be telling a child to have a secret game. That's quite worrying. Not to mention the "game" concerns negative name calling. Like ..."you say bad names and I won't tell. If I do this bad thing...you can't tell" That is what would concern me

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