Please help

[CrazyMama10]

It’s almost 2 years since my brother tragically and suddenly passed. It was horrific the way he passed away and incredibly traumatic. My nanna passed 8 weeks after. I was half way through my pregnancy.

I’m haven’t grieved for my brother but just started counselling today which I feel very positive about.
I’m also on medication for depression and anxiety.

Lately I’ve been struggling badly as other various things have happened. My family are incredible. My husband was but lately he’s not been so supportive. He’s been out a lot, taken Coke again and made so many promises to change. He said he wouldn’t go on a 3 day stag do this weekend to avoid temptation of drugs, support me and our marriage. He’s going, he made that choice and I did not influence that choice as it would have come back to bite me on my arse.

Our 18 month old no longer sleeps. I’m exhausted. He will only settle for me. I haven’t slept a full night in weeks.

I feel so alone, vulnerable and exhausted. I have no energy and having dark thoughts. My husband knows this. The grief and depression is controlling my life. AIBU to want to run away from it all?????

So sorry you’re feeling this way - that must be really tough. It’s great that you’ve made some steps to help yourself with counselling.

I don’t have much advice, except to make sure to talk to your support network about how you’re feeling & go back to your GP if you still feel this way.

Sorry about your husband - he doesn’t sound like a great support for you.

I hope things get better, the one guarantee of tough times is that they do pass - don’t give up

Didn’t want to read and run, that sounds awful I’m so sorry x

So sorry OP. You have had such a tough time. Do you have anybody in real life you can talk to? Could you ask the gp for counselling? My best wishes for the future xx

I can understand how your husband might be finding it hard too, but that doesn't excuse his behaviour.
Using Coke would be a deal breaker for me.
Maybe you could talk to your counsellor for advice. Perhaps some couples counselling would help him understand your depression as his support is essential for you to process your grief.

Also talk to your health visitor about your baby's sleep issues and the fact he won't settle for you.

Your husband is BVU going out so much when you have a baby full stop never mind your depression and grief.

*Settle for your DH.