Racism on room advertisements

[Suetully]

I was going through spareroom tonight and some of the ads real 'Asians preferred.' I have some recollection of reading similar ads years ago saying 'Asians only.'

AIBU to think if ads like that read 'whites only' there would be outrage?

YABU. It's similar to a gym deciding to run a women's only session. That's not sexist because women are a minority who have suffered due to male behaviour.

Asians are a minority who have suffered racism. If they want only Asians there are good, cultural reasons for that.

@Brieeeeeeeeeeee

Because it is reasonable for people from ethnic minorities, who are looking for a houseshare in a country where they will almost definitely have experienced overt racism, to try and protect themselves from further racism.

I certainly understand and have some sympathy with that. However a white person would not be allowed to say, "Whites preferred", in an advert for housing.

Honestly, I don't know what the solution is.

If you are letting a flat, it hardly matters who lives there as long as they have good references and can pay the rent. If, however, you are letting rooms in your house where you live, you could tell any prospective viewers that a few people are coming to look and you intend to let to the first person who likes the place providing they can pay; they can come along at xxx time, and afterwards you'll let them know.

That would apply to weeding out people with whom you don't fancy sharing, regardless of race.

It is difficult though.

I have mixed opinions on this but posters saying, "it's not saying 'no blacks, no Irish' so it's not that bad" are making me laugh.

Two groups that are very much being actively excluded by this advert, (with the slight exception of any Irish citizens with Asian heritage)!

Have any of you ever thought that this advert may not be designed to exclude white people at all, but actively aimed at the existing tenants making sure that they don't get a black housemate without having to say "no blacks" out loud, which they know would be unacceptable? How would you feel about that?

I had a nightmare with smelly food coming from a neighbour house a few years ago. I moved because it was unbearable but never said anything. Apparently, we are expected to put up with this every time otherwise we are racists.

I understand people wanting to live with someone culturally similar, but what if your "culture" is white British? I think it could be uncomfortable to live with people from a very different background, regardless of whether you're a minority.

Have any of you ever thought that this advert may not be designed to exclude white people at all, but actively aimed at the existing tenants making sure that they don't get a black housemate without having to say "no blacks" out loud, which they know would be unacceptable? How would you feel about that?
This is exactly what jumped out at me! People were so desperate to excuse it thinking it only excluded white people.

@UndecidedPoster

They’ve probably experienced lodgers expressing how they struggle with the strong smell of their food, insert other microagression here. Everyone needs to be comfortable in their home. For some, this includes living with someone from the same culture. I don’t see the issue .

What would the white person’s reason for wanting to live with ‘whites only’ be?

Well. You've just completely contradicted yourself 🤦‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ so Asians can ask for Asians to share cultural interests (I'm actually confused about the term Asian anyway cos that's inclusive of a huge variety of people from different countries that have numerous cultures and religions, but anyway, that aside), but white people cannot expect to request to share a home with other white people who have a similar culture and/or religion to them? (Or maybe it should read British only so as not to exclude British nationals of colour). Why? So because I am white, so I do not offend, I should share a space, with say, a Muslim who has completely different practices and beliefs to me, but the other way around it's understandable that a Muslim may not want to share a space with me!??? I would have to adapt the way I live significantly to share a space with a Muslim (food considerations, being quiet during prayer time etc). Just for the record I don't want to share a house with anyone, white or otherwise, I'm speaking as an example only! I do get why it's 'deemed' acceptable to advertise this way, but yes, the other way around and there would be uproar.

@Proudboomer

Asia covers a pretty wide area with lots of different religions and cultures so it is a pretty meaningless preference to state Asians preferred.

Yes, a huge area of different beliefs and cultures. Asians are also classed as a lot of Middle Eastern consider themselves Asian too, not always referring to themselves, or being considered Arabs by British nationals

My neighbour rents a flat and she says she won't rent to Chinese people because they always move everything around for feng shui reasons. She doesn't state that in the advert though. I think there's all sorts of racial undercurrents when it comes to flatmates and house shares, they are just not usually so overt.

@LegendaryReady

I understand people wanting to live with someone culturally similar, but what if your "culture" is white British? I think it could be uncomfortable to live with people from a very different background, regardless of whether you're a minority.

I’m fascinated by your comment. I’m British and consider myself with British values. But I’m not white. What are White British Values?

I've never understood why people bother to put any specifications in ads like that. Surely you would just filter through the applications and pick according to what ever criteria you have. I know a girl I went to college with wanted a female only room mate , stated this in her add and she had so many men apply out of pure spite. Some even used fake names 🤣

I think it’s quite common if you’re moving into a shared house. I’ve seen Spareroom ads for Australian / New Zealand houses. I’ve also seen room ads in another language which is presumably to limit the applicants to speakers of that language. We’re talking about trying to make a peaceful, homely arrangement with strangers so I think it makes sense to looks for shared culture.

@FortunesFave

YABU. It's similar to a gym deciding to run a women's only session. That's not sexist because women are a minority who have suffered due to male behaviour.

Asians are a minority who have suffered racism. If they want only Asians there are good, cultural reasons for that.

Women are not a minority. They make up 50% of the world's population.

@mrschocolatte

For me personally colour wouldn’t be an issue. The important thing would be cultural compatibility.

For example I wouldn’t want to be made to feel bad if I cooked bacon (which I do regularly) and certainly wouldn’t expect people to think it was a micro aggressive behaviour as someone further up alluded to.

I think it’s fine. Similarly strict vegetarians (for religious reasons) may wish to live only with other strict vegetarians do they don’t have to smell meat etc. Jewish or Muslim people may prefer to share with Jewish/Muslim people do they don’t have to have pork in the house.

These things are nuanced!

@Ytrigging

I think it’s quite common if you’re moving into a shared house. I’ve seen Spareroom ads for Australian / New Zealand houses. I’ve also seen room ads in another language which is presumably to limit the applicants to speakers of that language. We’re talking about trying to make a peaceful, homely arrangement with strangers so I think it makes sense to looks for shared culture.

I agree with you completely.

How would you word the advert if you were British/English/white though without people calling you out as racist/xenophobic?

People seem to understand it one way but not the other

There's a bit of an assumption so far that the ad was placed by somebody Asian because they seek like minded people.
In fact we have no idea who posted the ad. I'd say if you stated "Asian preferred" then you are less likely to be Asian yourself, because I don't actually know any Asian person who is happy enough to use the term "Asian" as sufficient to denote someone they'd like to live with.
Almost 60% of the world's population is "Asian". It's a blanket term encompassing multiple cultures, climates, religions, languages.
It's pretty ignorant therefore to talk of "smells of Asian food" or "Asian thinking" or "Asian lifestyle".
But no Asian people do this all the time.
So the ad to me looks creepy and superficial, like the tabloid phrase " busty Asian beauty".
I would not respond to the ad as an Asian for that reason.
And I would absolutely not conclude it had been placed by someone "Asian."

Ooops, Non Asian not "no Asian"!

I’m east Asian. I think it’s racist. People from different ethnic groups can be racist too.

I agree that there may be some vegan or religious or cultural rules (eg shoes off inside, no partners staying over) that people would be following in the house and it would be fine to say that the flatmates would prefer someone who agrees to follow these practices.

@MrMucker

There's a bit of an assumption so far that the ad was placed by somebody Asian because they seek like minded people. In fact we have no idea who posted the ad. I'd say if you stated "Asian preferred" then you are less likely to be Asian yourself, because I don't actually know any Asian person who is happy enough to use the term "Asian" as sufficient to denote someone they'd like to live with. Almost 60% of the world's population is "Asian". It's a blanket term encompassing multiple cultures, climates, religions, languages. It's pretty ignorant therefore to talk of "smells of Asian food" or "Asian thinking" or "Asian lifestyle". But no Asian people do this all the time. So the ad to me looks creepy and superficial, like the tabloid phrase " busty Asian beauty". I would not respond to the ad as an Asian for that reason. And I would absolutely not conclude it had been placed by someone "Asian."

This is a good point. ‘Asian’ is too broad.

In our house there’s always the ‘which bloody box to I tick?’ when you get one of the ‘what’s your ethnicity’ questions.

‘Asian’ covers a huuuuuuge range of countries, ethnicities, religions and cultures. Ask ten people ‘quick - name one Asian off the top of up your head’ and you will get ten people with nothing in common that would imply that they would make comfortable flat mates.

And as for ‘smell’ - the worst cooking smell I ever lived next to wasn’t Asian. And I’m sure my neighbours love me cooking fish (and I love a food curry - but am not Asian).

@SukonthaM

Yanbu op. As you can see from the previous posts there are all sorts of reasons why someone would prefer a person of their own ethnicity. And that includes white people. If someone advertised a room for whites only though they’d probably be arrested

They really wouldn't be arrested.

[quote Lollipop40]@mrschocolatte

For me personally colour wouldn’t be an issue. The important thing would be cultural compatibility.

For example I wouldn’t want to be made to feel bad if I cooked bacon (which I do regularly) and certainly wouldn’t expect people to think it was a micro aggressive behaviour as someone further up alluded to.[/quote]
I’m British Asian and I LOVE bacon! Nothing better than a bacon sarnie in the morning!
Seriously though I think that’s a poor example. Eating bacon is not about cultural compatibility - some people (and this includes white British people too!) don’t eat it because they hate it or their religion forbids it.

But 'whites only' is distinctly problematic. We know this.

Say I was in Paris and looking for a room mate I could say 'English speakers preferred though not essential' would open it up to people of all ethnic backgrounds.

'Asians Only' in a house share is not an issue. If it was for a house sale from an estate agent it would be a problem. Context is everything.

Another example of white people desperately wanting to be oppressed.