Relationship advice

[bjsux]

So I'm really baffled at what my partner has done. Well I'm guessing ex now.

Over the weekend he came over (we have three kids together). He told me he had strong feelings close to love and he was madly in love with me. We were rocky that's why his feelings were like that but still a relationship. Then I asked on Monday if he enjoyed his tiem over the weekend and he said he did. It was great etc. Then I asked about a thing I'd seen on his social media. He replied well you've already made your mind up about it then and blocked me and I haven't heard from him since.

I don't understand? Why did he say these things to me? Why would he lie about this time together being great to do that?

I know I'm being stupid even asking but I think I need someone else to say it in black and white to me. I'm struggle to get to terms with him saying these things. Me asking a question and this happens. Why would someone possibly lie about all those things and stay the weekend when that was there intention?

Was he just using me as free childcare when he was supposed to see them. During the relationship since we don't live together we decided he would have them stay at his fri-sun and usually I would go too or he'd stay at my house. But he'd still come over once a week to purely see me. But that stopped. Then he just seen me when he saw the kids. But would act in love etc.

Then to this flip I don't understand?

Convenience for him.
He doesn’t value you and has put you and the Dc in a box in his head marked ‘safe and easy’.

Please don’t let that lead you the believe that that’s a fair summary of your worth.
This is his sense of entitlement and that is really ugly.

You already know why he went on the attack when (reasonably!) questioned.

I have experienced similar treatment from my ds’s df and it crushed my already (at the time) tiny, amount of self esteem.

What did you do? Just escape him

Why would he even spend time with me tho if just to want me gone? It makes no sense at all.

There's nothing I do or say that's just for in that moment. So to me spending time with someone I'd just block I'd never do?

What I did was..
I spent an embarrassing amount of time try to make him see how brilliant I was and it took a sensible friend to point out to me that I was seeking his validation when I needed to learn to like myself. I was way too invested in his opinion of me.
I then had a couple of short relationships/dating with men that I wasn’t (on reflection) really interested in.

After a couple of years, I fully focused on what I wanted as a person and decided to stay single.

I met my Dh when I was content and just happy.

Throughout this ex was a total fuckwit with spending time with Ds.
If he thought I was going to go out or spending time with friends, he would cancel last min. Ex was never any help with childcare and he enjoyed having that over me. It spoiled a few work and education opportunities for me.
Now I’ve been married for 12yrs, my Dh is my best friend and I have a much better life than I had before.
Ex is quite envious I think.

That is terrifying that's exactly how he behaves. He phoned me 30 times when he thought I was out and gone home with someone else. Demanding I come get the kids at 3 in the morning.

So it's just control? He doesn't love me
Or want me? All those things are just him talking shit? He even goes as far to say as he can't help himself around me etc. He thinks I'm that great and he always takes it to sex and has to mention that's great for some reason.

You’re being used. End of story.

He has no value to you and will only shit on your life and make you question yourself. Do you want that?