AIBU for getting annoyed at colleagues being on their phones etc!

[Kitchendrama1]

I work in a team and our managers don’t watch us, have 121s or control workflow. Laid back yes.

We changed jobs and taken on more staff (from other teams).

However my colleagues talk a lot and spend a lot of time on their phones. One was even drawing the other day.

I’m getting anxious about it work because management aren’t checking work. As a result I’ll just do things and work for my contracted hours but be productive.

Friends are saying I shouldn’t care what others are doing and concentrate on my own work. However we all share work - what doesn’t get done one week gets done the next.

I’ve been with my present management team for five months and haven’t had 121s. They also don’t control work flow etc.

I really wouldn’t mind if I just had my own work to day, but it’s literally time work.

People say I shouldn’t care, but I get anxious about it. We are all the lowest entry level so I don’t have authority.

If it’s company policy to have monthly 1:1s they should have them.
But yes, to me, that’s a lot.
I’ve never had them myself (not needed) and very few people that I’ve managed have wanted them.
My graduate trainees are an exception as they have to get things signed off with me, and tend to like the opportunity more for mentoring.
But most people I’ve worked with work rather get on with the job, knowing there’s a genuine open door. Informal contact any time it’s needed, not scheduled meetings.

What was the broken protocol?

*I am.

Today a serious issue was reported out of hours but because no one has been assigned to under take that task (checking) than I decided to do it. We are breaking protocol. This is a task that has to be done daily…. Management don’t care*

Well if this is a safety or legal issue then it's a different matter. Tell management, and if they ignore then go right above their heads. Do you have a whistleblowing line and/or are you a member of a union?

@Palavah

*I am.

Today a serious issue was reported out of hours but because no one has been assigned to under take that task (checking) than I decided to do it. We are breaking protocol. This is a task that has to be done daily…. Management don’t care*

Well if this is a safety or legal issue then it's a different matter. Tell management, and if they ignore then go right above their heads. Do you have a whistleblowing line and/or are you a member of a union?

Yes that’s a good point!

@Cocomarine

If it’s company policy to have monthly 1:1s they should have them. But yes, to me, that’s a lot. I’ve never had them myself (not needed) and very few people that I’ve managed have wanted them. My graduate trainees are an exception as they have to get things signed off with me, and tend to like the opportunity more for mentoring. But most people I’ve worked with work rather get on with the job, knowing there’s a genuine open door. Informal contact any time it’s needed, not scheduled meetings.

What was the broken protocol?

You’ve never had a 121 whereby your performance is discussed, how you are finding the job, any training you require, time to talk privately with your boss?

121s are also for employee wellbeing

Ah, I took your 1:1 to mean formally arranged sessions with your boss that are not your annual appraisal.

So, annual appraisal aside…

No I haven’t had formal - you mention monthly - 1:1s.

What I’ve had - as I described - is a genuine open door. So if I want to speak to my boss - I call / see them. My various bosses (when new in role) have asked how I’m getting on, but as they pass my desk, or over lunch, or at a work social. Or informally, if I’ve popped into their office for a chat about an idea I have, they might pass on something good they’ve heard about me - or some praise from themselves. Informally, just interacting, I’ve spoken to my various bosses over the years loads!

I took your phrase “1:1” as being A Thing - not just a conversation! Especially as you said your company policy is monthly.

Which I’ve not had, no - outside an annual appraisal.

Never needed it.

I would say your most important job is to cover your own ass. Apart from that do your work, keep your head down

We have 1 2 1 once a year

@Kitchendrama1

121s are also for employee wellbeing

I can confirm that I personally think formal 121 is the last thing I want for my wellbeing. I personally think employees are too often put on the spot on these.

They are good if you can discuss personal and professional development or if you are settling into a new role if you are given the feeling your manager is interested and not just ticking of boxes.

We did 121 for a colleague who struggled and it helped as we managed to find problems a lot earlier and arranged mentoring and further training.

I have often informal chats with my boss about the workload or if something out of the usual norm comes up and he wants to know if we are ok with it.

But if I had a formal monthly 121 I would ask to do it as a coffee break not a meeting behind closed doors.

If you are looking for promotion be careful about taking on extra stuff outside your remit and making yourself indispensable... why on earth would they promote someone who is holding the place together at the lower level of pay. Who would take over from the conscientious one?

@Cocomarine

Ah, I took your 1:1 to mean formally arranged sessions with your boss that are not your annual appraisal.

So, annual appraisal aside…

No I haven’t had formal - you mention monthly - 1:1s.

What I’ve had - as I described - is a genuine open door. So if I want to speak to my boss - I call / see them. My various bosses (when new in role) have asked how I’m getting on, but as they pass my desk, or over lunch, or at a work social. Or informally, if I’ve popped into their office for a chat about an idea I have, they might pass on something good they’ve heard about me - or some praise from themselves. Informally, just interacting, I’ve spoken to my various bosses over the years loads!

I took your phrase “1:1” as being A Thing - not just a conversation! Especially as you said your company policy is monthly.

Which I’ve not had, no - outside an annual appraisal.

Never needed it.

I’m not even getting that.

We’ve all had a change in positions/responsibilities and nothing has been said informally/formally.

@BeyondMyWits

If you are looking for promotion be careful about taking on extra stuff outside your remit and making yourself indispensable... why on earth would they promote someone who is holding the place together at the lower level of pay. Who would take over from the conscientious one?

Because she will leave soon because she’s over qualified and ambitious. Already said to HR long term I will get bored at the job.

If you’re over qualified, ambitious and bored, why do you need these 1:1s about team structure and work change?

Your management team sound shit, if so many people are sitting around on their phones.

But I don’t believe that you haven’t had informal contact about the responsibility / work content changes - or how would you know about them to mention them here?

You do come across to me as someone who wants a lot more management support than - well, than the people I’ve spent my career working with.

It sounds like you’ve taken an entry level job here, and are frustrated that they’re not treating you like a career track starter with additional reviews. If you’re over qualified and bored with you current work, why do you need the hand hold of someone asking you if you’re doing OK?

"Because she will leave soon because she’s over qualified and ambitious. Already said to HR long term I will get bored at the job."

I'd still keep you where you are. A manager who thinks the other staff are crap is unlikely to succeed at the higher level without creating ructions. No matter how true.

Whereas if you do a great job at the level you are at, I'd take it from you for as long as it was given and wave you on your way with a good reference.

@Cocomarine

If you’re over qualified, ambitious and bored, why do you need these 1:1s about team structure and work change?

Your management team sound shit, if so many people are sitting around on their phones.

But I don’t believe that you haven’t had informal contact about the responsibility / work content changes - or how would you know about them to mention them here?

You do come across to me as someone who wants a lot more management support than - well, than the people I’ve spent my career working with.

It sounds like you’ve taken an entry level job here, and are frustrated that they’re not treating you like a career track starter with additional reviews. If you’re over qualified and bored with you current work, why do you need the hand hold of someone asking you if you’re doing OK?

To discuss:

1. recent training request I’ve put in
2. because this has been a new job to me since the second quarter of this year
3. there was a restructure and new job. Hand holding would be good, which I don’t need but look at point 4
4. I’m getting frustrated at others on their team drawing at work, being on their phone for days at a time, avoiding calls, not completing their work
5. pretty sure it’s company policy, and you are supposed to receive paperwork.
6. if I get put on a performance review I want evidence of past good conduct. This will never happen I’m sure but just in case.
7. evidence that I’ve bought issues as they arise instead of waiting to explode (which I’m at now)
8. I don’t want to bring management aside because it’s obvious in front of team members because it’s not normal procedure
9. all other things that 121 covers on a standard basis.
10. I’ve formally told that management I have mental health issues.
11. build rapport with my management so they are aware of my strengths, weakness and can help develop me

@BeyondMyWits

"Because she will leave soon because she’s over qualified and ambitious. Already said to HR long term I will get bored at the job."

I'd still keep you where you are. A manager who thinks the other staff are crap is unlikely to succeed at the higher level without creating ructions. No matter how true.

Whereas if you do a great job at the level you are at, I'd take it from you for as long as it was given and wave you on your way with a good reference.

“A manager who thinks the other Staffa re crap” was that aimed at me? I don’t think they are crap at their job, they aren’t. Spending days at a time on your phone, drawing, avoiding doing your work is 1) bad management 2) resources being under used 3) creating friction in the team

I really don’t understand some people. My request for a monthly chat with my manager is somehow seen as a negative? I’m sure if I refused it would be seen as a huge red flag.

1. recent training request I’ve put in

• phone/email them. No reason to need a formalised 1:1 process, why not just deal with this now by asking?

2. because this has been a new job to me since the second quarter of this year

• but you’re internal, over qualified, and doing it easily. So I think it’s good practice to check in with you - but can be done informally, especially if it wasn’t a massive change.

3. there was a restructure and new job. Hand holding would be good, which I don’t need but look at point 4

• this sounds quite bad. Hand holding? You said you’re over qualified, ambitious and bored and don’t need hand holding - so wanting hand holding sounds a bit needy

4. I’m getting frustrated at others on their team drawing at work, being on their phone for days at a time, avoiding calls, not completing their work

• this is not your problem

5. pretty sure it’s company policy, and you are supposed to receive paperwork.

• if it’s policy then you’re right it should happen. Bloody hell though - I’d hate to work in a company with paperwork around a 1:1 every MONTH! That’s very admin heavy and unnecessary. Are you sure about it? It wouldn’t be the place for me!

6. if I get put on a performance review I want evidence of past good conduct. This will never happen I’m sure but just in case.

• that’s quite a thing to be worried about even though you say it will never happen.

7. evidence that I’ve bought issues as they arise instead of waiting to explode (which I’m at now)

• I simply don’t understand why you’re even waiting to explode now. What about? Someone pissing about on their phone? Not your business. You don’t have email if you do want to flag it?

8. I don’t want to bring management aside because it’s obvious in front of team members because it’s not normal procedure

• email, request a meeting

9. all other things that 121 covers on a standard basis.

• I’ve never worked anywhere with monthly documented paperwork producing 1:1s. Sounds hell. Your “standard basis” stuff to me is just normal business informal contact, then you formalise IF needed. If you have a manager who won’t listen to you bringing thing up in the course of normal business interaction, then they’re shit and will pay pointless lip service to an enforced monthly 1:1

10. I’ve formally told that management I have mental health issues.

• that’s a biggie. Was it agreed with them that the company would support you in the workplace with additional, formal check ins? What do you actually need from them?

11. build rapport with my management so they are aware of my strengths, weakness and can help develop me

• I promise you that rapport building does not come from enforced monthly paperwork generating meetings that nobody else wants. It will come more from the informal contact that I mention in the course of normal business. My manager isn’t aware of my strengths and weaknesses from a meeting with some tick box scale, but because he sees the outcome of my work (and sees me in action on calls and emails, though that might not apply to you).

A good company will develop all staff, at whatever level. But it sounds to me like you’re asking for a lot - of contact, and career development - for an entry level role at which you say you’re over qualified and perfectly able to do.

I’d be taking charge of my own development, and looking for a new job for my next level - instead of wasting my time thinking I needed a 1:1 to complain about someone else’s phone use.

@Kitchendrama1

I really don’t understand some people. My request for a monthly chat with my manager is somehow seen as a negative? I’m sure if I refused it would be seen as a huge red flag.

Yes, to put it bluntly.

I’ve managed a lot of people, and would accommodate this in someone who was on an intense training programme (like a graduate scheme) or someone with confidence issues - but then my aim would be to support them through that, build their confidence and wean them off it. You’ve now mentioned mental health issues - that might also make very frequent meetings appropriate.
But the average person…?

No, I wouldn’t want the admin of monthly documented meetings - and none of them would thank me for it either!

There’s been more informal “just checking in” contact across my business, because of Covid WFH for some department. So a manager will actually say, “I’m checking in” but they were doing it before anyway - just you don’t announce it when you walk by someone’s desk and chat, in a way that you do when you pop up on Skype. In the office, you have body language to tell you who needs you to stop and say, “how’s it going today?”

But I really think that if you did a poll here of people having formal 1:1s it would be low. And also low for those who would want them.

Bottom line - if your company policy is to have them, management are failing and you’re not unreasonable to expect policy to be followed.

I would suggest though that you go through your list of WHY you want them, and proactively work out how you can achieve what you need without them. Pushing for them if they’re going to be lip service anyway, won’t meet a lot of your aims.

There are lots of jobs where regular one to ones/supervision are important for example in healthcare to review cases etc. I know admin roles do have supervision in these setting just less frequently. Are you used to this sort of thing OP?

@Cocomarine

1) recent training request I’ve put in

• phone/email them. No reason to need a formalised 1:1 process, why not just deal with this now by asking?

2. because this has been a new job to me since the second quarter of this year

• but you’re internal, over qualified, and doing it easily. So I think it’s good practice to check in with you - but can be done informally, especially if it wasn’t a massive change.

3. there was a restructure and new job. Hand holding would be good, which I don’t need but look at point 4

• this sounds quite bad. Hand holding? You said you’re over qualified, ambitious and bored and don’t need hand holding - so wanting hand holding sounds a bit needy

4. I’m getting frustrated at others on their team drawing at work, being on their phone for days at a time, avoiding calls, not completing their work

• this is not your problem

5. pretty sure it’s company policy, and you are supposed to receive paperwork.

• if it’s policy then you’re right it should happen. Bloody hell though - I’d hate to work in a company with paperwork around a 1:1 every MONTH! That’s very admin heavy and unnecessary. Are you sure about it? It wouldn’t be the place for me!

6. if I get put on a performance review I want evidence of past good conduct. This will never happen I’m sure but just in case.

• that’s quite a thing to be worried about even though you say it will never happen.

7. evidence that I’ve bought issues as they arise instead of waiting to explode (which I’m at now)

• I simply don’t understand why you’re even waiting to explode now. What about? Someone pissing about on their phone? Not your business. You don’t have email if you do want to flag it?

8. I don’t want to bring management aside because it’s obvious in front of team members because it’s not normal procedure

• email, request a meeting

9. all other things that 121 covers on a standard basis.

• I’ve never worked anywhere with monthly documented paperwork producing 1:1s. Sounds hell. Your “standard basis” stuff to me is just normal business informal contact, then you formalise IF needed. If you have a manager who won’t listen to you bringing thing up in the course of normal business interaction, then they’re shit and will pay pointless lip service to an enforced monthly 1:1

10. I’ve formally told that management I have mental health issues.

• that’s a biggie. Was it agreed with them that the company would support you in the workplace with additional, formal check ins? What do you actually need from them?

11. build rapport with my management so they are aware of my strengths, weakness and can help develop me

• I promise you that rapport building does not come from enforced monthly paperwork generating meetings that nobody else wants. It will come more from the informal contact that I mention in the course of normal business. My manager isn’t aware of my strengths and weaknesses from a meeting with some tick box scale, but because he sees the outcome of my work (and sees me in action on calls and emails, though that might not apply to you).

A good company will develop all staff, at whatever level. But it sounds to me like you’re asking for a lot - of contact, and career development - for an entry level role at which you say you’re over qualified and perfectly able to do.

I’d be taking charge of my own development, and looking for a new job for my next level - instead of wasting my time thinking I needed a 1:1 to complain about someone else’s phone use.

That’s the issue…, management aren’t taking an interest in my work or 121s.

My last boss was remote and I was working alone. He would call me for a chat/to see about work…. And this was either 121 or when I’ve flagged something.

If they took any sort of interest in my work/well being at work it would be ok, but they don’t.

1. recent training request I’ve put in

• phone/email them. No reason to need a formalised 1:1 process, why not just deal with this now by asking? (I’ve given it on the print out paper. Sent it via email. Again, if I had the 121 this would be one of the points they ask and I could discuss with manager)

2. because this has been a new job to me since the second quarter of this year

• but you’re internal, over qualified, and doing it easily. So I think it’s good practice to check in with you - but can be done informally, especially if it wasn’t a massive change (which again they aren’t doing and we are overwhelmed by work. Again, a quick “how you getting on” would be appreciated. I’ve also made remarks informally as well. This is something I would want to bring up informally at 121.).

3. there was a restructure and new job. Hand holding would be good, which I don’t need but look at point 4

• this sounds quite bad. Hand holding? You said you’re over qualified, ambitious and bored and don’t need hand holding - so wanting hand holding sounds a bit needy

(Needy? Jesus what a dumb comment to make. Again, it’s about supporting staff who are working hard that you want to keep. No communication means I’m leaving).

4. I’m getting frustrated at others on their team drawing at work, being on their phone for days at a time, avoiding calls, not completing their work

• this is not your problem

(It’s not my problem to sort out but it clearly is my problem when we share work and I’m having to do more work).

5. pretty sure it’s company policy, and you are supposed to receive paperwork.

• if it’s policy then you’re right it should happen. Bloody hell though - I’d hate to work in a company with paperwork around a 1:1 every MONTH! That’s very admin heavy and unnecessary. Are you sure about it? It wouldn’t be the place for me!

(My manager has three staff. It’s not admin heavy, my other manager was able to complete these and he wasn’t pandenatic).

6. if I get put on a performance review I want evidence of past good conduct. This will never happen I’m sure but just in case.

• that’s quite a thing to be worried about even though you say it will never happen.

(Happened to other team members).

7. evidence that I’ve bought issues as they arise instead of waiting to explode (which I’m at now)

• I simply don’t understand why you’re even waiting to explode now. What about? Someone pissing about on their phone? Not your business. You don’t have email if you do want to flag it?

(Why would I email. I would rather say in my 121 “hi I’ve noticed this…”, again this is what 121s are for, informal chats)

8. I don’t want to bring management aside because it’s obvious in front of team members because it’s not normal procedure

• email, request a meeting.

(Again, all that needs to happen is a routine monthly 121).

9. all other things that 121 covers on a standard basis.

• I’ve never worked anywhere with monthly documented paperwork producing 1:1s. Sounds hell. Your “standard basis” stuff to me is just normal business informal contact, then you formalise IF needed. If you have a manager who won’t listen to you bringing thing up in the course of normal business interaction, then they’re shit and will pay pointless lip service to an enforced monthly 1:1

(Company has actually stated they are willing to pay for training at no cost/terms to the employee. I think they have a bigger cost/required to spend and they aren’t spending. Again,121 will allow me to explore this).

10. I’ve formally told that management I have mental health issues.

• that’s a biggie. Was it agreed with them that the company would support you in the workplace with additional, formal check ins? What do you actually need from them?

(Again, if I had 121s as per company policy they could check in with me. My old boss took an interest in his staff).

11. build rapport with my management so they are aware of my strengths, weakness and can help develop me

• I promise you that rapport building does not come from enforced monthly paperwork generating meetings that nobody else wants. It will come more from the informal contact that I mention in the course of normal business. My manager isn’t aware of my strengths and weaknesses from a meeting with some tick box scale, but because he sees the outcome of my work (and sees me in action on calls and emails, though that might not apply to you).

A good company will develop all staff, at whatever level. But it sounds to me like you’re asking for a lot - of contact, and career development - for an entry level role at which you say you’re over qualified and perfectly able to do.

I’d be taking charge of my own development, and looking for a new job for my next level - instead of wasting my time thinking I needed a 1:1 to complain about someone else’s phone use.
That’s the issue…, management aren’t taking an interest in my work or 121s.

My last boss was remote and I was working alone. He would call me for a chat/to see about work…. And this was either 121 or when I’ve flagged something.

If they took any sort of interest in my work/well being at work it would be ok, but they don’t.
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…. I’ve made comment to the postts.

Yes you are right, time to get myself out and not bother with management

If you have bad managers, you won’t change them by forcing them into a 1:1 because you think it’s company policy to have them.

You say you are over qualified for this job, and have no problems with your own performance, and will soon be bored. So I’d say - just get on with the job, whilst applying elsewhere for positions, don’t stress yourself out (a) flogging a dead horse for a high level of contact and development in a team where it won’t happen and (b) stop making other team members behaviour your business.

Going back to your OP - I’m with your friends. Forget about other people not working, and concentrate on your own job.

@Cocomarine

If you have bad managers, you won’t change them by forcing them into a 1:1 because you think it’s company policy to have them.

You say you are over qualified for this job, and have no problems with your own performance, and will soon be bored. So I’d say - just get on with the job, whilst applying elsewhere for positions, don’t stress yourself out (a) flogging a dead horse for a high level of contact and development in a team where it won’t happen and (b) stop making other team members behaviour your business.

Going back to your OP - I’m with your friends. Forget about other people not working, and concentrate on your own job.

Yes thanks.

I’ve started to hand out my cv etc and set deadlines for progression.

@Kitchendrama1 I appreciate that you want extra support, maybe you feel like you need it. I just want to point out- that's not the way to progress. Most companies will not want management who are rigid and inflexible. You may not feel like you are, but from this post, you are coming across as of you need structure, routine, accountability, and you are struggling to function without these. But dealing with people, not robots, means that you are flexible on those things to achieve the best results for your team.

I really think you should have a little ponder on what you want most.

Is it things to be done by the book? You can't get this in this place/ the current team, so time to look elsewhere.

Is it progression within this company? Have a look at what the current management team are offering, how can you emulate their success and fit in with them? Is it.possible to do this, given you think they're doing their jobs poorly?

Is it job happiness? What will really make you happy, and can you achieve it here?