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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leave him overnight

24 replies

Islandcircle4 · 09/09/2021 17:49

My son is 17. Sensible and mature. I have been with my bf a long while now and would like to spend the night at his. I feel anxious and guilty leaving my son alone overnight. My son says he doesn’t mind but then asks me things like what if this or that. Then I change my mind because I think he doesn’t really want me to leave him. He is not pulling his weight at home, won’t go to college, just wants to do his leisure activities and it annoys me so I just need to get away. Should I leave him and go have fun nights away

OP posts:
Bookaholic73 · 09/09/2021 17:51

He is 17, many people go on holiday with friends or start thinking about moving out of home at this age.

He will be fine!

FAQs · 09/09/2021 17:54

A sensible and mature 17 year old with no additional needs should be perfectly capable of being left overnight, I left home at that age.

grey12 · 09/09/2021 17:55

I started uni at 17 Wink

Shoxfordian · 09/09/2021 17:56

You should live your own life and leave him to it

Why’s he not doing anything?

romdowa · 09/09/2021 17:56

I cared for my disabled father by myself at 17. I'm sure your son will be fine by himself overnight

Shirleyphallus · 09/09/2021 17:56

He is not pulling his weight at home, won’t go to college, just wants to do his leisure activities

He doesn’t sound “sensible and mature”?

Lennybenny · 09/09/2021 17:57

He's playing you by coming up with things to stop you going. Listen to him, remind him you have a mobile and go spend the night with the bf...Wink
He's 17....Time to start having a life....

TimeForTeaAndG · 09/09/2021 17:58

He asks the what ifs so he knows what to do when you're not there. Go out. He's 17, I thought this was going to be a baby getting left overnight for the first time!

Summersun2020 · 09/09/2021 18:01

17?!! I lived alone and paid rent and council tax at his age! He will be fine! Wow Confused

georgarina · 09/09/2021 18:03

For the love of God go and enjoy yourself! He's 17 😂

AlCalavicci · 09/09/2021 18:08

Good god woman go out and enjoy yourself !
Tell you 17 yr old to grow up and start sorting himself out or he is going to be living with you until he is 30

Original poster
Islandcircle4 · 09/09/2021 18:12

Shoxfordian- he has started about 3 college courses and says it’s not for him. Fed up of his laziness

OP posts:
minionsrule · 09/09/2021 18:12

My 16 year old wants to stay on his own for a week when we go on holiday!
He'll be fine provided you trust him to not wreck the place. Assume he knows how to make himself some food and make sure he washed the pots!

TimeForTeaAndG · 09/09/2021 18:16

@Islandcircle4

Shoxfordian- he has started about 3 college courses and says it’s not for him. Fed up of his laziness
Who pays his phone, food etc? Cos if he can't be bothered then why should you?

Get tough OP, he can't doss at yours forever.

TwoPaperAirplanes · 09/09/2021 18:18

My parents were going away on 2 week holidays when I was younger than that and leaving me in charge of my younger sibling too!

He should be more than capable of being on his own overnight 🙈

dane8 · 09/09/2021 18:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Strangevipers · 09/09/2021 18:19

He needs to pull his socks up and you need to not baby him so much . He is 17

FreedFromHomeSchooling · 09/09/2021 18:19

I left home at 17 - he’ll be fine!

Summersun2020 · 09/09/2021 18:21

@dane8 and THAT, right there, is why so many men Grow into hopeless, useless dossers. Because they’re pandered to and excused all their lives. At 17 it is embarrassing if he cannot be left to fend for himself for one single night. Absolutely no excuse.

Blossomtoes · 09/09/2021 18:23

I’d left home and was supporting myself at 17. He can vote next year. Time to cut the apron strings @Islandcircle4.

massistar · 09/09/2021 18:27

I'm leaving my sensible 16YO home alone this weekend. Like others I started at Uni at 17! He'll be fine.

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 09/09/2021 18:34

My ds 17 went to Leeds Festival last week end. When he got home we were on holiday!!
Oh and I left home a week after I turned 17...
Enjoy yourself op!!

Tinpotspectator · 09/09/2021 18:38

I would have with two of mine and not with one other. Only you know your son.

FinallyHere · 09/09/2021 19:31

When he asks you 'what about if...' is a perfect moment to ask him what he would do. Don't give him the answer, let him work it out for himself.

He will get there

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