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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have a christening without a party?

28 replies

PurpleRay · 09/09/2021 14:23

Hoping to get our first child christened in December, he is due mid October.

Service would be at 2pm on a Sunday. We will be inviting immediate family and chosen godparents only (about 12 total).

We’d like to have a cake and tea/coffee in the church afterwards so everyone gets a proper chance to see baby and get a photo etc. but no intention of a party or reception.

Is this unreasonable? Should we have a full meal or provide sandwiches etc.? We’re not party people and hate the idea of a big do but it’s very important to us that our child is baptised.

Thank you

OP posts:

ConsulTremas · 09/09/2021 14:24

Not unreasonable at all. Sounds nice to be honest.

NannyR · 09/09/2021 14:25

This sounds fine to me, you are doing the important bit which is the baptism and tea and cakes afterwards sounds lovely, and a whole lot less stressful than a party!

MonkeyPuddle · 09/09/2021 14:26

Not unreasonable at all.

When DS was baptised we had those who attended (family and godparents, around 15 in total) back to the house for tea and cake for about an hour or so.

I don’t know anyone who had a big reception.

Sirzy · 09/09/2021 14:27

Not unreasonable at all. Sounds like your focusing on what the christening is actually about.

PurBal · 09/09/2021 14:29

Do people have parties for christenings? Didn’t know that was a thing. Assume it’s not during the main service given the time so you won’t have to cater for the regular congregation. Most churches I’ve worked with won’t book in a christening until baby is born but given advent is super busy I’d speak to them sooner rather than later.

PurBal · 09/09/2021 14:30

My point was that your plan sounds perfect but get it booked!

Velveteena · 09/09/2021 14:30

This was the norm until not too long ago.

Velveteena · 09/09/2021 14:34

I don't think there's anything wrong with a post-christening bash, just that they seem relatively new as a social event.

Fubitch · 09/09/2021 14:35

Yeah, the party is the only bit I'm interested in 😀

UserAtLargeAgain · 09/09/2021 14:37

That sounds normal for me (especially if you're getting your child baptised because that's important to you, rather than thinking the party is the main point!).

Shoxfordian · 09/09/2021 14:37

Sounds like a plan you’ll be happy with so you should do it

LittleGwyneth · 09/09/2021 14:56

Totally fine unless you're expecting people to travel miles for it. If people are coming from the other end of the country I'd probably expect lunch.

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 09/09/2021 15:02

Yep, I've been to a few christenings where the service has been in a church, and then onto a pub or hotel for the 'afterparty'. One of them had a 3 course sit down meal! Seemed a bit over the top, but I think the baby's parents had been ttc for over ten years so guess they went all out. It was much nicer than the one where we went to a pub after and the baby's father got so drunk that he couldn't stand.

Sundaymorningfiveninteen · 09/09/2021 16:00

We did exactly this. Christening . Tea and cake in the church hall afterwards, a few bottles of champagne for those who wished to par take. Short and sweet. No complaints.

Alleycat02 · 09/09/2021 16:06

Ugh YANBU, after my first child was baptised we did a big party for the whole family and it was waaaay too much for me to cope with after just giving birth! After my second was baptised we had a pub lunch with a smaller number of family, that was better as we didn't have to stress about hosting, sorting food out ourselves or how long everyone was going to stay!

Biker47 · 09/09/2021 16:18

Do people have parties for christenings?

All the Christenings I've ever been to, have always had a "party" in a pub function room or social club afterwards with a buffet lunch etc.

Niffler92 · 09/09/2021 16:20

Sounds like your doing it for the right reason I know so many people who have a christening only fir the party.

NovemberRain2 · 09/09/2021 18:43

I'd provide some sandwiches in case people haven't had time for lunch or would prefer something savoury.

frizzmonster · 09/09/2021 18:45

That's fine...I did the same

Ionlydomassiveones · 09/09/2021 18:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Pottedpalm · 09/09/2021 18:49

Sounds lovely! Can I come?

TolkiensFallow · 09/09/2021 18:50

I think that’s totally fine - but I would specify on the invitation “you are invited to the baptism of baby purple ray at 2pm followed by tea and cake in the church hall from 2:30-4pm”.

Only because sometimes the after thing is a full buffet and you want to make sure people have had lunch beforehand and know they’ll need an evening meal!

EatSleepRantRepeat · 09/09/2021 18:51

This sounds lovely - it's the baptism part that is the most important, and you're baptising them into the church community so a coffee in the church sounds perfect.

EdithWeston · 09/09/2021 18:51

It all sounds totally normal to me

Crowtooyo · 09/09/2021 18:52

I don't think the parties are a new thing! I'm late 20s and my parents had me christened and my older brothers and there was a party afterwards, I have never been to a christening without a party. It is usually just a nice excuse to get the family together. The main times extended families tend to be together are weddings, funerals and christenings.
My mum was religious. I am not in the slightest but would attend a christening for a close friend or family member in this context. But generally, I'd say for most non religious peolle, the party is the best bit!

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