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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my DD out of school for 3 days for this reason?

57 replies

user38572 · 09/09/2021 14:14

Name change as prepared to be flamed Blush.
Basically my husband hasn't seen his brother who lives in the Malaysia for over 5 years. So our 4 year DD has never met her uncle yet and we have never met our 2 year old niece. We planned to visit but obviously pandemic put a stop to that.

Husbands DB told us he is going on a business trip to Dubai which lands in February half term and would obviously love to see us all if fancied a holiday. He said his family would come with him if we came. My DH who is very close to his DB couldn't say yes quick enough.

However it now turns out that DB in law has got his dates wrong he is actually in Dubai the week after the school holidays. DH is now suggesting we still go but stay on a few days longer so DD will miss 3 days of school. So we would still see them for two days. Dd is in reception so I don't think the school could fine us but I still feel bad about it. AIBU to take DD out of school for this reason. If she was older it would be a definite no.

The other issue is brother in law should be (pandemic permitting) moving to Australia next year. So it's not like we could go and see him in the summer holidays. I also have a young baby and do not fancy such a long flight.

OP posts:
RB68 · 09/09/2021 14:46

Do it. Many Indian Families go away for a month or more to meet family etc and take their kids out, its really no different. THis is about family and family relationships rather than necessarily about a holiday

PieMistee · 09/09/2021 14:49

I took mine all out a couple of years ago for a week for a holiday. They were at high school. We had had a shit year and we all needed it. School agreed. No fine and they caught up

Wannakisstheteacher · 09/09/2021 14:51

Take the week. You’ll never regret that quality time for your DD with her uncle and cousin.

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/09/2021 14:51

Yes you should go and don’t feel bad. She can easily catch up.

Playdoughcaterpillar · 09/09/2021 14:54

I absolutely would take the whole week. This is much more important than 1 week of reception.

TartanJumper · 09/09/2021 14:55

I'd go for the week he is there.
Reception isn't compulsory, audit won't matter at all to her education. Otherwise, from next year you are going to be retracted in travel for at least 18 years until your baby finishes school.

Theworldspinsonmyhead · 09/09/2021 14:56

If we've learned anything from covid it should be not to take time together for granted.

Take her for the whole week.

Hoppinggreen · 09/09/2021 14:57

She’s 4, of course you should

Figmentofimagination · 09/09/2021 14:59

Do it! We are doing similar with our 4yo next Feb to see my sister and my nephew who we haven't met yet. We're taking him out the week before half term to have 12 nights away in America (restrictions permitting).

Cattitudes · 09/09/2021 15:03

I would take her but I think it depends on her birthday as to whether you could be fined. Do check with the school. Having said that it is £60 per parent, so £120 is still much cheaper than flights to Australia in a year or two.

Minniem2020 · 09/09/2021 15:03

I wouldn't even have to think about that one, of course you should go

Tal45 · 09/09/2021 15:13

At that age yes I would.

Driftingblue · 09/09/2021 15:26

For reception, I would go for the whole week.

Unless your child is struggling, as long as they are primary aged, I would still take the 3 days. Yes, it is better to travel during holidays, but sometimes life happens and these life events are important experiences.

BookFiend4Life · 09/09/2021 15:28

Miss school, you don't even need to explain to them why you're doing it. I wouldn't hesitate to do it even if she was older, family time is so important.

Ugzbugz · 09/09/2021 15:31

My son is now in year 8 and I will be taking him, he just missed a week already for LFT testing so how can anyone tell parents not to take kids out of school again? Yes be sensible but if she was off school for a week with chicken pox you wouldn't batter an eye lid at any year.

AlvinSimonTheo · 09/09/2021 15:31

They shut the schools for bloody ages last year! Just go.

I was a stickler for not missing school unless ill before covid. Not any more Grin

Snookie00 · 09/09/2021 15:35

Go for the whole week. She’s so young and one week of schooling at that age will make no difference. We’ve seen through the pandemic that society does not consider full time schooling to be essential for her life chances (despite what teachers claimed pre-pandemic) and her missing a few days will make no difference.

purplecorkheart · 09/09/2021 15:35

I would take the whole time that your brother in law is there

Happyhappyday · 09/09/2021 15:36

I’m planning to pull DD out of preschool (she’s 3.5) for a month to visit DH’s family as soon as she’s vaccinated (abroad so vaccinating children). She’s in a private preschool and we live abroad but even if she was a year older and the school kicked off, I would not give two shits. DH’s parents are quite old and haven’t seen her since she was 5 months old. Some things are more important than school, especially at such a young age. Under normal circumstances I might not, but when travel has been so difficult, just do what’s best for your fam.

ShrimpBarbarian · 09/09/2021 15:41

at that age I would, and i'm strict on rules personally

SherBear1971 · 09/09/2021 15:43

Do it!

FfrothiCoffi · 09/09/2021 15:45

I’ve never taken mine out of school but would for this, definitely.

MrsRobbieHart · 09/09/2021 15:47

She’s 4. It’s 3 days. You’re her parents. It’s really very much fine.

ittakes2 · 09/09/2021 15:48

Honestly its is really not an issue you have a very good reason and it won't affect her at all. Schools like to keep their attendances up as it affects their ofsted gradings so school might not agree but doesn't mean its the wrong thing to do.

careerchangeperhaps · 09/09/2021 15:48

At 4, she won't even be compulsory school age in England by the time of your trip (unless she turns 5 by the the end of December). Either way, I'd definitely take them out at this age.