To feel uncomfortable with forwarded baby photos on WhatsApp?

[Jemi202]

Before my pregnancy, SIL would sometimes send us pictures or news about people DH knew in childhood etc which is fine, however now I’m pregnant every single acquaintance who has a baby she is forwarding us the pictures and messages on WhatsApp.
For example the most recent one was her former yoga instructors sons baby- think we met the yoga instructor once at a community BBQ!
These often include their full name etc, DOB, etc as well as the picture.

I feel like the right response is to say ‘oh how cute’ and move on, but I feel a bit uncomfortable that the details about the baby have been forwarded on without the parents consent to people they don’t even know.
I haven’t put anything on SM about my pregnancy and have no intention to when they arrive, but I feel a bit funny about sending things to friends / relatives that may get forwarded on to god knows who!

Discretion is quite an important part of my job and I’m careful about what goes online for this reason.

Am I being an absolute misery?

I think it's weird that they're are sending them in the first place when you don't even know the person. Mum's a bit like this, she'll say "oh forgot to say, Christine had a baby" and I say "I don't know anyone called Christine" and she'll say "yes you do, Christine who's covering the Lorraine show"!!! I'm so glad she's not on FB or WA, she would totally do the over-sharing thing

What is it youre afraid of? That sister in law will share photos of your baby with strangers?

You’re not being miserable, but if you send things, people will find a way to share them if they want to. On WhatsApp you can see if someone has forwarded a message if they do it natively - but they can screenshot or save the image and send it on even if they don’t.

It’s somewhat naive to think people won’t, sadly. For the type of person who wants to show everyone everything, they’ll find a way.

There’s an element of having to get your head around it, unless you’ll never give anyone photos of your baby - because even “real” photos can have photos taken of them and them sent on.

I’m 25 weeks pregnant and so far haven’t announced or posted any photos, but MiL is dying for a photo of my bump to send to her friends who have never met me and probably don’t really know who I am - it won’t be any different when there’s a baby!

One of my friends does this. Sends photos of acquaintances babies to us. Like immediate post birth photos, that will have been previously sent to a small group of close friends of the child’s parents.

Needless to say, I’m very cautious about what I send her.

She has zero concept that this would maybe be an issue and I can’t be bothered to raise it with her as she’s just think I was a complete stuck in the mud.

Better to just moderate you send to her tbh, she’s unlikely to change her behaviour or even recognise that it is problematic.

She won’t think it’s odd unless you tell her.

Tell her you don’t want her forwarding photos on and/or moderate what you send her if you think she will disobey your request…

However, I do wonder what you’re worried about. People will see your baby in real life…

I received a picture of a friends partners nephew the other day that said 'forwarded' on WhatsApp and must admit it made me feel uncomfortable because I wasn't sure the childs parents would be happy with the picture being shared with strangers. It was a completely appropriate photo but it just felt strange.

Just don’t acknowledge them. You don’t have to respond to every WhatsApp, and she may stop doing it.

Sharing full names and DOBs is a huge security risk.

However, I do wonder what you’re worried about. People will see your baby in real life

The OP doesn't want her child's photo on the internet and that can happen with people who over share photos of others.

I remember reading this story - www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-52758787

I can't remember a case of a child suing their parent but it will happen.

Oh, I know how to help prevent this!!!

Whats app has a single view setting! So it allows you to send a photo, the recipient can view it once, and not again. I don't think they can forward it on then either or have it downloaded to their phone. We use it when sending certain photos of DS to my mum to stop her sending them to all her friends. Most photos are fine, but I'm hesitant to send photos of my friends kids.

I'm not sure if you can screen shot them though, so beware of that. Might be good to try it out between you and your DH to see if it works!

@bobblebeebob

I suppose on the one hand I just feel a bit uncomfortable and almost a bit voyeur- ish especially when the pictures are very intimate delivery room ones.

When it comes to how I feel about my own child I’m really not keen on pictures of them being forwarded along with demographic details.
If we see people out and about or somebody says oh Jemi had a baby boy and called it Thomas, then it’s not quite the same as their image, full name and dob being accessible perpetually on random people’s phones.

In terms of what I’m worried about happening- nothing specific- however I’m always going on about internet safety. I demonstrated to in laws how I could find out cousins ex-partners address just by using her profile picture and her mums cover photo. DH’s cousins constantly post on social media and whenever they have moved house I’ve been able to send a housewarming card by finding out their address based on SM posts without having to ask.
I suppose I think it doesn’t take much once you have a couple of demographic details, if you have nefarious intentions it doesn’t take much more to glean more information and be able to piece things together- whether it be identity theft or something more sinister.
I’m pretty horrified when people post cover photos of their children in school uniform with the badge visible 😬 yes 99% of the time who cares, however I work in a job seeing some of the darker side of humanity, and just feel like you can’t be too careful.

Same as you, OP. I need to be careful about what goes online and because of this I have no SM, and photos of my DD have never been shared on SM.

I told my family and friends (a couple of friends in particular that send photos of other people’s kids) that I don’t mind any photos of DD being shared with people we know (family friends, friends etc) but beyond that it’s not for me. As far as I know, no one has gone against that, and my friends have since clarified with me that they would have other parents’ permission to forward photos of their kids etc., so it seems to have made them think a bit. Having said that, I know my ILs think I’m a bit and if anyone broke the ‘rule’ it would be them. But I definitely think it’s a conversation worth having. If she doesn’t respect your wishes then don’t send her any photos (easier said than done, I know, but I think it would be perfectly reasonable)