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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My 6 year old can't read 😢😢

97 replies

Kales29 · 09/09/2021 11:25

Dd is just turned 6 (august) and just gone into year 2. She is the youngest in her class, she's also considerably speech delayed. Her speech wasn't good at all when she started shcool but had improved vastly but still young for her age. She has an EHCP due to her speech delay. My oldest is autistic, Dd isn't believed to be autistic though.

She enjoys school, teacher last year said she's below expectations but improving. She's a confident, popular member of the class etc. Very artistic but struggled with both maths and English. She seems to love school.

But she cannot read at all. She recognises odd words but she cannot read any sentences or anything. We are always reading to her etc.

Her writing is improving but again it's just writing odd words.

I feel like a complete failure.

It hasn't helped she's had her first 2 years of school affected by covid.

I'm worried about the lack of support at the school. There's a fair few in her clsss bedding extra support both with EHCP's and not with ehcps. Ranging from learning difficulties, behavioural issues etc.

Despite having an EHCP I don't think the school are providing enough support.

I'm worried sick.

My son goes to the same school and has been well supported because his EHCP states he needs 1:1. DD isn't entitled to 1:1 support. Her EHCP is mainly about her speech and language needs.

But I have spoken to other parents who's children are not being given any support and I feel Dd is going the same way. Some parents have even taken their children out the school due to lack of support.

How can I help her improve at home? She's always writing, drawing etc. It's the reading I am most concerned about. She struggles with maths but we always do maths things at home. Teaching her to read is hard!!

Advice??

OP posts:
IfIHaveToTellYouAgain · 09/09/2021 11:36

You need to identify what it is she’s struggling with. Can she identify the letters/digraphs (ie. ay, ou, oy)? If she can recognise those, is she struggling to blend the sounds together to build the word? Is it sight reading (words that you can’t blend, like because) that she’s finding difficult? Once you know that, it will be easier to advise you.

overworkedrobot · 09/09/2021 11:36

You may get better responses if you ask MNHQ to move this to primary education.

You say you don't think school are providing enough support. Is it that the school aren't providing the provision in section F or that the provision in section F isn't enough?

Ask for an early review of the EHCP, or a reassessment of needs if you feel new assessments need carrying out.

Sirzy · 09/09/2021 11:37

When is her annual review due?

I wokld have a meeting with the senco and discuss how best to support her as a team

Kales29 · 09/09/2021 11:39

Annual review should be due this term, likely in November/December. Last one was autumn term of year 1. She has had parents evening, report, brief chats about her progress since then. Her year 1 teacher was also the senco!

OP posts:
Kales29 · 09/09/2021 11:41

@overworkedrobot

You may get better responses if you ask MNHQ to move this to primary education.

You say you don't think school are providing enough support. Is it that the school aren't providing the provision in section F or that the provision in section F isn't enough?

Ask for an early review of the EHCP, or a reassessment of needs if you feel new assessments need carrying out.

Thank you. Her EHCP mainly focuses on her speech and language needs. She does usually has some speech activities with a Ta in the class. I think it really needs to be updated sharpish to add issues with learning etc!
OP posts:
Cheeseplantboots · 09/09/2021 11:44

My eldest is severely autistic and my middle child was also very late to speak. No words at all until she was 3. She was behind with all her milestones. Her speech was very bad when she started school. She couldn’t read at 6. She just didn’t get it. Something clicked in year 3 and she just flew with her reading from there. Within the year she was on target. She is dyslexic which wasn’t picked up on until year 7. I was doing reading on why she was so clumsy and un co-ordinated and realised the late speech etc was all linked to dyslexia. She’s also terrible at maths.

HarrisMcCoo · 09/09/2021 11:48

My son has only started P1 three weeks ago and can't read. He is 6yo (had a deferred year in nursery).

Howmanysleepsnow · 09/09/2021 11:48

My ds only learnt to read in April/ May of y2. He also had speech and language problems (not delay, but he used the wrong start and end sounds of words) which I think impacted. He was consistently “working towards” targets but by the end of y3 he’s now meeting expectations. No real advice on teaching reading sorry, we just got there by ignoring home learning and reading instead. I started out getting him to read one word in each paragraph and I read the rest, then got him to read the bits in inverted commas (tended to be easier word) and worked up from there, supporting him to recognise phonemes and graphemes and sound things out.

HarrisMcCoo · 09/09/2021 11:52

Sorry, forgot to add he has speech and language involvement but since starting P1 we have noticed a huge improvement in this area. He had delayed speech. SALT have been involved regularly.

BergamotandLime · 09/09/2021 11:56

Thoroughly recommend Reading Eggs and Mathseeds - they were hugely helpful for DD last year.

Ozanj · 09/09/2021 11:58

Talk to your local kumon centre and see if they can help. Our local tutor really helped my autistic DN to read at 7 by using their memory building strategies to support work we did at home. It was done in a really supportive way too - at the beginning his classes were held seperately. Then as he learned to read (and he caught up fast) he was moved to the main class with the other kids. But I’m not sure if this is available at all Kumon classes.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 09/09/2021 12:01

You're not a failure. I was surprised to discover recently that Stephen Hawking didn't learn to read until the age of 8!

overworkedrobot · 09/09/2021 12:01

It doesn't sound like the EHCP is fit for purpose even for DD's speech and language needs.

Geneticsbunny · 09/09/2021 12:01

Hi. My son is 7, nearly 8 and going into y3 and can only read a handful of words. He has been flagged as dyslexic and had some hearing problems which have now been sorted which might have contributed. Is it possible the speech and language issues are slowing down the learning to read? As she already has an ehcp this is definitely the best place to get extra help added. Don't panic though. Kids often catch up with reading and in a lot of scandi countries children don't even start learning to read until they are seven.

Kuachui · 09/09/2021 12:02

I wouldnt worry too much but maybe buy some good starter books and toys and some word /spelling games.
Sit down a few days a week and play with her, make a game out of it and I'm sure she will start learning very quickly.
Flashcards are great, maybe make your own where one card says what it is and she learns the word and then a flashcard has missing letters in it etc those kind of things

MrsPumpkinSeed · 09/09/2021 12:04

Pm

anna114young · 09/09/2021 12:04

I highly recommend Easyread, I just wish I found them when my son was younger! Would have saved me so much stress.

HarrisMcCoo · 09/09/2021 12:06

Definitely don't worry about it. They will all catch up. I keep reading to my son and won't stop reading every day.

As a PP has said, Scandi children don't start formal education until aged 7. They can read fine as adults 🤷

napody · 09/09/2021 12:06

If you are looking for something fun to do at home, the ‘teach your monster to read’ app is fun and consistent with how reading is taught in school. If you sit with her you can absorb how reading is taught too with letter sounds and blends. Then when you read to her, try ‘sounding and blending’ some words as you read (doesn’t need to be a school book just pick out the odd word that uses the sounds she knows, e.g c-ar-t, cart’. This will support the work they do in school, reading teaching needs to be a drip drip approach with home and school involved to be effective.

Good advice above about finding out what steps they are taking at school, I just thought it would be useful for you to know how to support her.

AntiSocialDistancer · 09/09/2021 12:08

I'm so sorry Flowers it's not your fault, and it's not hers either. I say that because you said you feel like a terrible parent - you would never in a milion years think that she was being a bad daughter. She wouldn't want you to feel as you do.

Make a meeting with your school SENCO, now that she's 6 and her difficulties with learning are more apparent her EHCP needs to be updated.

riromay · 09/09/2021 12:10

I don't know if that's helpful to you but in many countries kids don't learn how to read before 7 and they're all doing well in adulthood Smile

AntiSocialDistancer · 09/09/2021 12:10

@napody

If you are looking for something fun to do at home, the ‘teach your monster to read’ app is fun and consistent with how reading is taught in school. If you sit with her you can absorb how reading is taught too with letter sounds and blends. Then when you read to her, try ‘sounding and blending’ some words as you read (doesn’t need to be a school book just pick out the odd word that uses the sounds she knows, e.g c-ar-t, cart’. This will support the work they do in school, reading teaching needs to be a drip drip approach with home and school involved to be effective.

Good advice above about finding out what steps they are taking at school, I just thought it would be useful for you to know how to support her.

My kids love this app. It's all about individual letter sounds

"Ah ah ah"

"Mmmm"

And it progresses up to blending sounds but only when you're ready. In a fun monster game format.

Kales29 · 09/09/2021 12:15

@Cheeseplantboots

My eldest is severely autistic and my middle child was also very late to speak. No words at all until she was 3. She was behind with all her milestones. Her speech was very bad when she started school. She couldn’t read at 6. She just didn’t get it. Something clicked in year 3 and she just flew with her reading from there. Within the year she was on target. She is dyslexic which wasn’t picked up on until year 7. I was doing reading on why she was so clumsy and un co-ordinated and realised the late speech etc was all linked to dyslexia. She’s also terrible at maths.
Thank you. Sounds like it could be a similar issue. She's also behind with her gross motor skills... but fine motor skills not too bad. I am hoping it will just click with her soon too! She's also pretty clumsy at times.
OP posts:
overworkedrobot · 09/09/2021 12:20

Has DD been assessed by an OT, and is there OT provision in the EHCP?

Tangledtresses · 09/09/2021 12:40

My son could barely read at 6 too.. he has no educational needs he was just a bit behind. We also signed up to kumon which if ofsted registered so you can claim childcare vouchers or tax credits if you get them?

Ours was fantastic and really helped him a lot
He's 7 now nearly 8 and can read well.. spelling is another story but we'll get there

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