@Xiaoxiong
It's so hard to plan ahead for these things as well. My dad and I were talking earlier this summer - he said that he has become a devotee of the
"slow medicine" concept for elder care in the process of his own parents' deaths (he was the POA and executor for both). Once he turns a certain age - he says 80 as this is when both his own parents started going downhill - he says he will turn down any medical interventions they may offer him like a pacemaker or flu jabs, and that his ideal course of action would be euthanasia before he needs any care.
Of course this assumes he doesn't develop dementia etc, and it's one thing to make promises to yourself when you're fit and well in your 60s, and quite another to make those choices in the moment. Also my mother is 100% not on board with this, and will keep his head alive in a jar forever if it's up to her, so I told him he needs to write a living will to express his wishes since I have no desire to fight with her about it.
Dh and I both have sections added to our Health and Wrlfare Powers of Attorney. They state that in the event of our developing dementia, or any other condition where we are unable both to care for ourselves,
and speak with full mental capacity for ourselves, then we emphatically do
not want any life-prolonging or life-saving treatment. We ask for palliative care only.
If more people did this, maybe there would be fewer people kept alive just because it’s possible to do so, regardless of quality of life - tablets for this and that, in and out of hospital, on drips, etc.
Even being badgered and pestered to eat and drink when the person no longer wants to do so - in my mother’s dementia-only care home I witnessed this more than once. I know it was with the best of intentions - the care home was very good - but WTF is the point, when someone very elderly already has well advanced dementia with double incontinence - every shred of dignity has been stripped away, and despite very good care, their quality of life is so poor?