TTC maybe isn't for me anymore

[postingfortraffichere]

I feel a bit sad at the moment. I'm in TWW and period due Saturday.

I'm feeling sad at the thought of a negative and worried at the thought of a positive (have had previous losses)

I'm starting to think it's just not for me anymore and I should forget about parenthood.

I've had enough of hearing about people's pregnancy announcements and get very bitter at pregnant women. Not nice but true. It sends me angry, even when I see celebrity announcements I think 'why is her pregnancy ok and not mine'

I don't know why my brain reacts in that way I'm not a bad person but TTC is sending me a bit twisted.

AIBU to feel this way

I get it completely. In fact, I could have written the OP. And no, of course it doesn't make you a bad person any way, it just means you're mentally /emotionally exhausted with ttc.

I am too, in fact, this morning I decided I'm not going to be actively TTC anymore. 3 losses, one late at 21 weeks due to fetal anomalies. The fear of that happening again. Not drinking or over doing it in the tww. I've had enough. I'm not buying anymore opks, or temping, or buying supplements. I'll take the 5mg of folic acid a day and have regular sex and that's it. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't.

@pusspusspuss thanks for the link, I guess it doesn't give me some hope

@WearingMyBestMardyPants so sorry for your losses

Sounds like you've done a wise thing and I don't think I'll be too far behind.

I feel a bit better about it all today and am thinking to carry on with sticks for another few months. If by Xmas nothing then I'll be forgetting about it all.

[quote postingfortraffichere]@Plumtree391 first loss was 2019 had to put on hold TTC due to medical condition I had to get under control before TTC again. TTC now again had another loss. [/quote]
Oh gosh, that is tough, postingfortraffic. I am so sorry.

However there is no reason to suppose you will not conceive again and carry your child to term. I've known people who have had two miscarriages before, or in between, having children.

Maybe stop 'trying' , do what comes naturally and see what happens. Go away for a long weekend, see friends, relax. All this tension is not helping.

@Plumtree391 thank you. Stopping trying means my odds are lower each month and I just want this to get over with now.

I've honestly had enough of it, it's making me into a narsty person

Also I've just tested negative. I don't know what's gone on - I've used sticks this month and did it on the day I got a static smiley face. It's just fucking shit.

Had I have know TTC would be this shit I'd have started trying years ago. All those years of thinking if get pregnant on the first try. More fool me.