Top tips for parenting preteens

[happinessiscrispsandwine]

DD1 has just turned 10 and gone into Y6. I'm finding our relationship a struggle at the moment (and so is she). She's getting older and aware she needs to be more independent, but she's also a young 10 and generally pretty anxious and clingy. She's finding things tough and lashing out at me as a result - it feels very different to the early primary school years.

I'd love to know your tips for parenting preteens - helping them grow confident and keeping a good strong relationship with them.

Watching! We are at loggerheads but she does at least talk to me which is a start. Giving her more independence has helped, hand in hand with pulling her up for the tantrums and rudeness.

I found Yr 6 the hardest, lots of attitude and backchat even tho ds has always been an easy going nice boy.
Someone said its a combo of early hormones, being eldest group in school/bored of Primary and possible anxiety of SATS.
We tried to pick our battles, either ignored the backchat but pulled him up when it was getting OTT.
I also used to wait till he was having a normal day then have a chat with him about his attitude and how it made us feel when he was rude (dad got it more than me). Also encouraged him to talk about anything worrying / upsetting him.
We muddled through and he did get better, his 16 year old version is much nicer

There's a book called Between by Sarah Ockwell-Smith that I really like. It goes through a wide range of the sorts of things that can come up at this age and trouble shooting ideas for them. She does a lot of stuff online for free too.

Thanks for the book suggestion @Tickly

And @minionsrule it's a relief to hear your 16 year old is much easier. I am slightly terrified that this is just the introduction to the teenage years and will get much worse if I handle it all wrong.

@Redwinestillfine - hopefully wise people will come and give us good advice. Great that your DC talks to you though

I am after advice too.

Great to have a book suggested, any more ideas gratefully received. Particularly after an even more than usually challenging school run this morning!!

Dts are the same age, the youngest of the year but going on 16. Giving them a little bit of independence over the summer has helped eg they were able to walk to the shop and run errands on holiday and they have just started walking home from school.

I'm quite strict though when the sass starts they lose an hour on their phones and I've banned bloody you tube full stop during term time, as they are absolutely obsessive with it and most of the attitude seems to come from it.