Guilt after leaving my son at nursery

[Darksideofthesun]

Does it get any easier?!
He used to do 9-3:30pm.
I’ve just started a new job, he’s now doing 8:15-4:30pm.
I feel so guilty leaving him for so long. He cries every time I leave him there. They say he settles pretty quickly, but it doesn’t stop me feeling awful at work.
Now he’s there so much longer too my mum was a stay at home parent/housewife, so I was never left anywhere and she was always in when I got home from school. Every-time I talk to her about it, she makes me feel worse too.

It definitely gets easier. My LO does 7:15-17:30 and is absolutely in her element when she's there.

It gets easier, at least it did for me. I say that as a mum to a 3.5 year old who has been at nursery since 14 months old and only just stopped crying at drop off.
Impossible not to but don't feel guilty - you work because you have to and his day hasn't got that much longer. They get so much from nursery. Hope the crying stops soon it's so hard going onto work feeling like shit and waking up dreading drop off.

If he is only upset by the transition of mum to nursery (which is very common, rather than being upset about being at nursery) then it is no worse for him to be there longer.

You are being a good mum but providing financially for your family.

If you were a man would you even be questioning this? You aren't leaving him for excessively long hours, and children are very adaptable.

Have a serious word with your mum about how her judgement/comments are making you feel.

My dd went to nursery and I was so guilty about it. Literally hated it but after she settled in she loved it. She’s 8 now but literally always been so sociable and great at joining in. I think it was good for her. Things are so hard these days for women. Let yourself off the hook

When I say hated it I meant I hated it!

Does it get any easier?!
He used to do 9-3:30pm.
I’ve just started a new job, he’s now doing 8:15-4:30pm.
I feel so guilty leaving him for so long. He cries every time I leave him there. They say he settles pretty quickly, but it doesn’t stop me feeling awful at work.
Now he’s there so much longer too my mum was a stay at home parent/housewife, so I was never left anywhere and she was always in when I got home from school. Every-time I talk to her about it, she makes me feel worse too.

Guilt is a completely wasted emotion and will do neither of you any good in the long run. As he gets older he will be able to understand that mummy has to work. Until then keep it light and breezy, reiterate what a lovely day he's going to have with 'whoever'. Plenty of children go to nursery full time, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Stop talking to your mother about it if it makes you feel bad.

DD used to absolutely howl when she was settling in. Now she's 2.5 and skips in without a backward glance.
Anyone who wants to judge me for being a working parent is welcome to pay my mortgage and bills so I can stop

I feel your pain - my DS does 8.30 - 5.30 and he's just moved to a new room and is struggling to settle in. This morning I dropped him and I could hear him yelling for me. He settled very quickly but even so, the guilt is hard to shake isn't it? I just wanted to run and get him and give him a massive cuddle (but sadly I had to go to work)

If your mum wants to be so judgemental maybe she should offer to do childcare?

I forgot to add he’s nearly 3 and has been going to nursery since he was 11 months. But with this new job, it’s the longest time I’ll be leaving him. As I’ll be collecting him at 4:30pm, it’ll be dinner and bedtime pretty much as soon as we get in, give or take 15-20 mins.