Am I being paranoid?

[beewritesx]

In March I had a total breakdown (cheers Sertraline - drug made me crazy!). I told professionals I wanted to overdose and that they should ring social services on me because I was being a crap parent (I wasn't) and that I wanted to be sectioned! Social services did visit but dropped the case and I was taken off Sertraline immediately as it literally made me feel suicidal!

Anyway, DS has started school and I was late picking him up today (only by 6 or 7 minutes). Yesterday was boiling and I thought it'd be the same today so he was in shorts that ended up being too big for him (they're the right size, aged 2-3, but are falling down a bit - I only noticed when he finished school) but, like I said, I was late picking him up and he was the last one there! I'm worried I've left a bad impression and they're keeping tabs on me due to the incident in March! Feeling mega paranoid!

Also struggling to keep on top of the housework! DH does nothing around the house (not even the bins), but then again there are lots of single parent families who manage to keep their house/garden lovely and they have 2 or 3 children (and they work!) so I can't keep blaming him! I need to replace the curtain rails and put curtains up in every room but I can't afford it right now (our blinds are a mess and generally unsafe) and I have no idea how to put a curtain rail up. I also need to clear the house of all the junk and move it to the shed, which also needs clearing (but I have no car to take things to the skip and no money to pay anyone!) so I feel completely stuck! The garden also needs doing! When I confided in a friend, she went on to tell me that her father was the same but her mum just "got on with it" and she had four children! And that she does her own bins and garden, it's no big deal!

I'm worried I'm heading towards another breakdown and people (mainly professionals) think I'm an unfit parent! I just wander how everyone else does it! 😭

You're not going to be seen as an unfit parent for being late once and your little one having slightly too-big shorts, don't worry - being late happens to us all and have you seen year 7s with their giant blazers?!

However, you definitely need proper help at home. Why is your DH doing nothing, especially given your health issues? Does he have a car to take things to the skip?

You can google putting curtain rails up (if you have a drill they're dead easy) and work on 30 minutes a day clearing a room until it's done - don't try and look at it all as a giant mountain that you can't climb, just do what you can each day in small manageable chunks. But your DH needs to help you - unless he has a very very good excuse, you're both responsible for the house and keeping it tidy and safe, and I'd have a breakdown too if my MH was already fragile and my husband did absolutely nothing in the house and treated me like a cleaner.

And maybe go back to the GP - there are plenty of other drugs than Sertraline, and while the waiting list for counselling is long it could be good to get on it anyway.

Good luck

I agree with everything Scarpa said.

Don’t worry about the too big shorts or 7 minutes late - we’ve all been there!

I don’t have much knowledge on MH issues, but I can’t help but think that a husband who does nothing around the house can only make these matters worse - it must be incredibly draining for all the jobs to be your responsibility.

Take it one step at a time regarding the jobs in the house - I know I sometimes feel like I have to do everything NOW and feel so overwhelmed that nothing acts usually gets done. Make a list of jobs and do one a day, or one a week. They will eventually get done.