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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be reluctant to drive this journey without a mirror?

61 replies

nomirror · 08/09/2021 11:08

A couple of weeks ago, the nearside wing mirror (just the glass part) fell off my car whilst driving. I did pull up as soon as I could and walk back to look for it but couldn't see it, it's possible it had smashed and shattered when it fell off. The mirror was one that had apparently been stuck on by previous owner and had come loose. These things happen.

I went online to order one - due to the age of my car it wasn't available from any local retailer unless I bought another stick on one (my car actually has heated mirrors, so it makes sense to buy a proper replacement with the backing plate so the heat sensor will work - it doesn't work on the current one as the backing plate is covered in double sided tape and adhesive). Annoyingly delivery for the mirror and plate was either unspecified, or 21-28 days. So I put in the order for the one with the delivery date.

In the meantime I've been driving my usual local journeys to shops etc, as there are perfectly manageable with just rearview and offside mirror.

However next week I am due to do a 4 hour motorway journey, and I am reluctant to do this without my nearside mirror. I'll be on the M1 and M25, lots of changing lanes etc and I completely rely on both wing mirrors. DP rather scoffed at this and said (as he often does in driving, having had a licence for 20 years longer than me) oh you'll be fine. But I simply don't feel confident to do it.

Is that being wimpy of me? OR am I right to be cautious? The earliest date for the mirror to be delivered is Monday, and I'm due to travel on Weds so I'm hoping it should be here, but it's possible it might not. My back up plan - which will be annoying if I have to do it - is to spend another £10-12 (in addition to the £20 for the one on order) for a stick on one from Halfords but I am slightly annoyed at the double expense! Which again DP says is not needed as I can drive without it - whereas I think yes I can drive without it, but I can't confidently drive without it on a motorway!

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 08/09/2021 11:41

I have driven on the motorway with only one wing mirror (in an old car) but I absolutely wouldn't want to do so now.

I'd buy the stick on one.

MrsRobbieHart · 08/09/2021 11:42

Just go and get the stick on one FGS.

AngusThermopyle · 08/09/2021 11:45

Get an intermediary stick on one.

thecatsthecats · 08/09/2021 11:52

I bought a stick on for a fiver online that arrived the next day. The glue was so strong that I was just lining it up to place it and it stuck and I couldn't budge it with a screwdriver.

It stayed put for another three years until I sold the car.

QuestionableMouse · 08/09/2021 12:00

The OP can most likely get a proper one by tomorrow from the link I posted above. Mine came in less than 24 hours. (Saying most likely, because I don't know what car they have - mine is very common!)

Original poster
nomirror · 08/09/2021 12:06

There's nowhere online to buy a stick on one for less than £10, so if I have to do that I can just go and get it from Halfords and don't need to worry about it being delivered.

The wing mirror site referenced has one for my car but the backing plate shown in the picture doesn't match what I have (whereas the one I've ordered is the correct OEM code etc). I'm a little reluctant to order that one as it may not fit properly, whereas at least with a stick on one I can attach it to the plate I already have.

OP posts:
Seeline · 08/09/2021 12:09

@Shade17

I don't think YABU - both mirrors are essential for motorway driving IME (over 30 years driving experience.)

In the past many cars didn’t have a nearside mirror at all. I use a classic on the motorway sometimes without one and it’s not an issue, you just need to have good observation skills and correct use of the other two mirrors. It’s a legal requirement on cars 2010 onwards but if yours was made before then crack on.

IN the past there was a lot less traffic on the roads and no 5 lane motorways (as the M25 is in many places). It's not somewhere I would want to drive without all my mirrors functioning.
Shade17 · 08/09/2021 12:15

IN the past there was a lot less traffic on the roads and no 5 lane motorways (as the M25 is in many places). It's not somewhere I would want to drive without all my mirrors functioning.

Not only do I drive a car with no NS mirror on the motorway in general but also the M25. It’s not rocket science.

Dontpresstheredbutton · 08/09/2021 12:34

Interesting that the OP is quite happy to do local journeys without a mirror but worried about motorways. Personally I think it’s more important in town where things change around you all the time and you’ve got to look out for cyclists and scooters - maybe less so in small towns but certainly I would be very wary of driving in a city without a near side mirror.

Peanutsandchilli · 08/09/2021 12:34

No way should you drive on the motorway without a mirror. It's vital. I'd buy the stick on one in the interim and then fit the proper one when it arrives. I wouldn't risk mine or anyone else's life for the sake of a tenner.

SoupDragon · 08/09/2021 12:36

It’s not rocket science.

It's also not rocket science to realise it's safer with both.

PrincessNutella · 08/09/2021 12:36

This seems like an incredibly dangerous idea.

Toottooot · 08/09/2021 12:38

You are being unreasonable to quibble at the thought of spending an extra £10-12 for both the safety you and other road users. Even if it’s not legally required the peace of mind it would give you is surely worth the tenner alone.

OhRene · 08/09/2021 12:41

A few phone calls to local scrap yards will find you one and it'll be just a few quid. If not, stick one on temporarily. You really shouldn't take the risk not having one.

Shade17 · 08/09/2021 12:43

It's also not rocket science to realise it's safer with both.

Of course, but it doesn’t mean you will die without a NS mirror. Perspective is needed.

This seems like an incredibly dangerous idea.

Get a grip. Two would be preferable but it’s not the end of the world.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 08/09/2021 12:44

Those looking to the past for wing mirror-less cars - the legislation that requires them is for all vehicles first used after 1st Aug 1978, so it's been a thing for quite some time! Driver + rear is a legal requirement. Any lost/unusable mirror is a MOT fail anyway.

pickingdaisies · 08/09/2021 12:49

On a motorway I wouldn't drive without one, because so many people do crazy undertaking manoeuvres. Seems like they aren't prepared to wait for cars to pull back in after overtaking. Or they can't bring themselves to pull out?

saltinesandcoffeecups · 08/09/2021 13:16

I feel like the obvious answer is to buy the stick on mirror, wait and see if the other one arrives, if it does install the real one and return the stick on one, if it doesn’t then use the stick on on one and then install the real one when you get home (or wait until the stick on one falls off then install the real one)

I’m so curious how this is causing angst and drama.

Original poster
nomirror · 08/09/2021 13:19

It's not causing angst and drama - I simply wanted to understand if I was being over cautious about driving without a mirror, as my DP was so matter of fact about it.

Seems like most people would prefer to have a mirror as well, so it's not me being a wimp.

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 08/09/2021 13:49

@nomirror

It's not causing angst and drama - I simply wanted to understand if I was being over cautious about driving without a mirror, as my DP was so matter of fact about it.

Seems like most people would prefer to have a mirror as well, so it's not me being a wimp.

Who cares if you’re over cautious. There’s a solution to the problem and it’s a pretty low stakes one. Just buy the stick on mirror and move on with life.

Or don’t because your DH doesn’t think you need one, but quite frankly that would be bizarre. Do you normally second guess such mundane things in life when someone has a different opinion than you?

Original poster
nomirror · 08/09/2021 14:14

I do care if I'm over cautious, I don't want to be one of 'those' drivers - the ones who won't use a motorway, or drive in a city, or in an unfamiliar area, that kind of thing. I've only been driving for a few years and although I think I'm a good, safe driver, my experience is vastly less than my DP. Sometimes he will basically tell me to man up about things and I realise I am being too risk averse (I never used to like driving in heavy rain or snow for example but have done it many times now and whilst I don't enjoy it am not thrown by it any more) but others I feel that my concerns are valid - as here, and I just want to calibrate my views with others. Isn't that the purpose of AIBU to be a sounding board to get other opinions? (some of which may be dissenting).

OP posts:
saraclara · 08/09/2021 14:29

I had the same issue. It was almost impossible to get hold of the right mirror for my specific model of car, even via the scrap dealers consolidation websites.

It's absolutely legal to drive without a nearside wing mirror, as long as the offside and rear view are available, but I postponed a meetup that would have required a motorway journey of an hour. I just wasn't comfortable with it, and I'm not a nervous driver. I just know that I do use it a lot on the motorway, especially when moving to a lane on my left.

I'd definitely get the stick on. It's £10 for peace of mind. It wasn't an option for me, unfortunately.

DynamoKev · 08/09/2021 14:40

Off topic but why are we still calling them wing mirrors when they have been fixed to the door for about the last 40 years at least?

RincewindsHat · 08/09/2021 14:44

No way would I drive on the motorway without both mirrors. You'd be putting yourself and everyone around you at risk.

I had to buy a stick on replacement mirror for my car once after the mirror glass flew off randomly while driving one day, it was super cheap and Halfords ordered it in for me very quickly. It lasted fine for over a year before I sold the car on.

LakieLady · 08/09/2021 14:47

YANBU, OP.

I wouldn't want to do any significant amount of motorway driving without a full set of mirrors, they're so important when you're changing lanes.