To think new school year has not started well!

[hellswelshy]

Sorry posting for traffic. Dds started back to school yesterday, year 9. Dd1 generally likes school although struggles with some things like disruptive pupils in her form and certain rules but on the whole is more positive. Dd2 however has been horrendously anxious since Sunday, crying, withdrawn and generally very sad. She seems to hate everything about school since the time they've had off during the pandemic. She is fairly introverted I suppose and struggles with noisy pupils, which I have gone through before with her since she started. Now it seems to have ramped up to hating everything about school and it's draining us all. Every morning starts with a sullen face, snappiness etc. I have tried everything, positive pep talks, offered any help I can give but she shuts everything down and won't see anything positive. I don't know how to help! She is very self conscious and mindful of her skin (has acne, we are treating it). Is this just hormones, normal teen behaviour or do I need to do something other than what I am doing?

Hopeful bump. Does anyone know if it would be an idea to speak to her form tutor? I just don't know if there's anything they can do either.

It’s not the answer to everything you’ve mentioned but I now know not to talk to my teenage dd before school unless she actively starts a conversation or it’s something vital I need to say. She’s always grumpy in the morning and the more anyone engages with her the more stressed she becomes. If we all steer clear she can leave the house much happier!

Thanks for the reply I agree, it's a hotbed of stress here some mornings which I usually have the brunt of as I work from home currently! I am clinging onto the hope things will improve, they have to surely? Just very worried right now as she's bright and I don't want her to have a miserable time at school, she's just so unhappy and I feel helpless.

My DD started suffering with panic attacks and was becoming anxious about school after the second lockdown. It was just getting to the stage where I was going to contact her form tutor when DD spoke to her herself. She was referred to the school’s pastoral care who had a long chat to her and then, with my permission, referred her for weekly counselling at school. She was also given a card to leave lessons and go to “the hub” to complete her work if things became too much during class. She is so much happier now, I’m really impressed with how the school handled it. Maybe approach the school? Would your DD be ok with you doing that? I was lucky that my DD took matters into her own hands, but I think she was so unhappy she wouldn’t have minded me raising it with school at the time. It’s very difficult as a parent you just want to make it better and find solutions to the problems but this isn’t always possible immediately. Good luck

Year 9, so she is about 14? It’s a hard time especially if you have acne! I would acknowledge that at the moment it’s all very shit but it is life and she’s learning the hard lesson that you just have to soldier through. It will pass and it will get better.

Mines vile in the morning. Just vile. She improves during the day though and is a bouncy Tigger by afternoon.

She’s been like it since year 9 ( currently y11)

Not much help but it's quite common for children to genuinely loathe school. The disruptive pupils, the petty rules, the bullying, the boredom and the overwhelming unfairness of it all. I hated every minute of school. Mainly the repeated punishments for things that I hadn't done, nor did I know who had done them, but because the teacher didn't know either everyone got punished.

Horrible staff, horrible pupils. It was awful.

Thank you for the replies, it's all very helpful and good to know I am not alone in this. I have been a confident parent up till now, but recently now I have teenagers have been questioning myself alot. Thank you Halfofyou that's an excellent suggestion, her school have been very supportive with other issues so I am sure they would be if I raise this. I am not sure how dd would feel about it, but it's worth broaching it.

Ha, yes HarrietsCharriet I hear that, I do empathise. It's like a jungle for some, and my DC are chatty and bubbly at home but school seems to squash that right out of them. As I mentioned, her appearance is really bothering her, but we are tackling her acne. My heart aches when she says negative things about herself

Anyone else with experience of this?