To not understand how it's possible for reading level competitiveness to have kicked in this early in term

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

They've been back like 4 days and already there are parents asking about what books they are bringing home.

Ffs really? The teacher's barely even spoken to half the class yet, its meaningless.

If you are a parent who asks other parents about their child's reading level, why do you do it?

I sort of get it 6m in, maybe if your kid hasnt made much progress you might be curious as to whether that's typical or whether they might need a bit more help.... but right at the start of autumn term?!

Nothing wrong with getting off to a good start.

I think more parents will be worried after al the lockdowns that their child is behind and this might be a way of checking that. Or perhaps it’s just something to say.

Competitive parenting and a chance to show off! You can google to find out expected levels to get a sense of how your child is doing. My DD has just started year 1 and I've never been asked! Although DD will tell me various children's levels unpromted.

You have to get started early to get ahead of the field and let everyone know that your child is the only child ever to have reached the dizzying heights of Level 19.

I don’t see why asking about what books children are taking home is particularly competitive tbh. A love of reading is one of the best gifts you can give a kid and is really important preparation for education.

If people were asking you explicitly what your child’s reading age is that’s a bit sharp elbowed and nosy.

But I don’t really get why showing an interest in what their set books are is so bad.

There’s going to be a lot of that in their lives tbh: they need to get used to it.

No one ever gained a love of reading from their homework book! They’re so dull. Far more likely to put children off reading for life.

I have never asked anyone, and I never say what level DC is.
I might mention something we are reading at home but I won't make comparisons of what books they're reading/book colour band they're on at school.

There’s a difference between “what books does your DC enjoy?” and “which level reading book has yours been given?”. The first could be about reading, the second cant really be about anything other than perceived academic achievement.

This never stops with some parents. One boy from my son's reception class moved to another part of the country by year 3. His mother was still playing the comparison game with a few of us when they got their A level results last month!

Are they saying "what reading books has everyone brought home" in general. Or, "morning Doris, my Ernest has brought level 364 translated from Greek philosophical musings home. What's Derek got? "

Not that it matters. Far more important things to think about. Has your child enjoyed being back at school? Do they enjoy reading? Do they read for pleasure?

I used to listen to kids read at school - the books they were asked to read were dull as shit - how they were ever expected to encourage a live of reading I have no clue but they were forced to read every single one before escaping the drudgery of ether reading schemes.
The kid who finished first and got highly praised for his achievement told me he did it because he hated reading so much he wanted it over and done with but he was incredibly sad because he felt that he was the only kid in the class who hated books. Teach the skill, forget about the joy and pleasure - that’s reading schemes in a nut shell.

I sometimes ask if parents have had reading books sent home as one of my DC has a habit of 'forgetting' to bring home reading books.

If I ever asked it was because I was concerned about my child's dyslexia not because I'm competitive. I think people are just trying to gauge where their child is at, don't worry about it.

To clarify its parents asking other parents about school levels/book band colours.

Oh and 2 of the parents asking it's clearly not anxiety about their kid keeping up, their kids are bright & doing well and they can easily see that by looking at the standard expecting reading bands for each year group. They just want to know if their kid is top or not. Because it matters in life if you are the best reader in class when you are 5.

I’m glad no one has asked me! My Ds is very behind on reading levels due to some SEN - luckily his teacher this year is the SENCO which is a result.

That said, I wouldn’t mind telling anyone if they asked me as it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just not going to be participating in competitiveness. Neither did I with dd who was always ahead mind you!

My children are older (I think - still primary school) but I am always extremely keen to know what books other children enjoy as I struggle to get DS to read.

I am very clear about it being for a reluctant reader though… and that they cannot be too complicated. Sounds like your parents are different?

@Alwayswonderedwhy I never had any impulse to ask about reading for my own DCs, but last year we were effectively co-parenting a young relative of mine for the school year and it was the first time I really wanted to know where he was - he has severe dyslexia and I felt so anxious to know how he was progressing relative to other kids his age. It definitely came from a place of anxiety for his learning.

There's nothing like that in our class for now but I think there is an understandable amount of anxiety about educational achievement after the last 18 months and I think reading levels is one of those tangible things that people cling to in order to achieve some sort of assurance that it hasn't all gone to shit. I think people will settle down in time so long as we don't do more rounds of school shut downs.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland yeah that is annoying - pure gloating! Very Motherland

@Xiaoxiao I saw two parents exchanging levels and just saw one's face literally fall, while the other looked gleeful about being above. It was literally like watching motherland.

Oh God I remember those days.
Made the mistake of discussing it once re DD2, who was good at reading. After that I always diverted to what I was reading to my kids at night. Which wasn't The Odyssey, it was the bloody Tiara Club. That helped.

Do people really ask what level other people’s kids are on?? That’s so rude - was never the done thing when my dc were that age. I’m not convinced it makes that much difference anyway my quickest reader is the least interested in reading as a teen and all 3 of my dc can read well even if they weren’t on blue books in reception or whatever the ‘best’ colour was.

littlepeas they did when mine were little, and they're 18 and 20 now. Mostly happened to me at parents evenings because I always worked full time and wasn't one of the school gate mums, thank goodness!

Whenever I see these competitive parenting things I always want to say they don’t ask your reading level at age 6/what age you potty trained/walked/talked in sentences/whatever on the UCAS form or at job interviews.