Wanting perspective or advice on sleep issue

[Wheresmybiscuit3]

I am a very light sleeper. I have been ever since I had children. It also takes me forever to fall back to sleep. Probably a good hour if not more. We have two children that are 6 and 7.

My family keep waking me up in turns each night. If it’s not my six year old who wants a cuddle at 3am (as they’ve been to the toilet) it’s my seven year old (exactly the same reason usually). I have sleep headphones. Still doesn’t seem to matter.

Talked to the children about not waking me unless they’ve had a bad dream or they need something. I’ve explained about my sleep issue. I basically don’t mind them waking me if they actually need me, but not if it’s just because they’ve had a wee and think it would be nice. They could also wake their dad if they wanted but they never do.

This evening I went to bed earlier than normal as I wanted a good nights sleep. Got into bed and put some sleep meditation on. OH had to stay up and finish some work.

When he came upstairs 40 minutes (ish) later he asked me if I were awake. I had just gotten to the about to doze off stage so I didn’t reply.

He then went on to say he had a present for me (a text book). When I didn’t reply he dropped it heavily on the floor clanging and banging as he went to the bathroom. He then (he says) accidentally called my mobile which actually rang through the headphones even though it was on silent. That was it then. I’m now up and awake. I told him I didn’t appreciate it. He told
Me I was being irrational and it was a mistake and that he’s sorry. I tried to do the mediation again but I’m annoyed so it didn’t work.

My joints hurt. I’ve got bags under my eyes. My nice productive day off tomorrow will now be me feeling tired again.

If it’s not one child, it’s the other and if it’s not them then it’s my husband. He also snores and has sleep apnea and doesn’t particularly like the machine… which I get to a certain extent. I’ve tried to be encouraging and not to be negative if he has a bad night with it.

It’s not their fault that I am a light sleeper and find it difficult to drop off but I am feeling quite hurt. I probably am irrational about it as I’m so tired!

Sorry for the length. Off to try and sleep again!

So I suppose

YANBU your husband should try and be a bit more considerate.

YABU - suck it up it’s your own problem.

That sounds exhausting my DH is so restless at night but also a very light sleeper - I'm actually enjoying sleeping downstairs with our young baby until he old enough to go in his room

He should be more considerate for sure by using his machine!

Do you have a spare room or sofabed you can escape to, even once or twice a week?

I don't have children the same age so I can't offer any advice there, but my perspective is that my siblings and I never did that unless we were ill, and I think I would also find it unacceptable in the future from my DS.

Take yourself off to a travelodge. That would drive me insane, sleep deprivation is bad!
You need to stop giving cuddles to your DC in the middle of the night, just take them back to bed. How does anyone get any sleep!
Can you sleep in another bedroom, away from DH?

God no, that's enraging. The kids are understandable, if irritating, but your DH is a grown man, he should be able to understand the concept that you don't wake a person with insomnia.

Second the suggestion of a travelodge, and in the house, if there's a spare room, can you sleep there once or twice a week and wear earplugs and lock the door?

If you have another room to sleep in then do. Tell your dc that waking you in the night is unacceptable and will not result in a cuddle then stick to it. Is your dh generally this thoughtless?

@peanutnest I went and slept on the sofa in the end. No spare room unfortunately or sofa bed. To my knowledge the kids listened last night and went back to sleep.

@Suzi888 I have been fantasising about a Travelodge and to be fair to him he wouldn’t have an issue with it. I’ve stopped the cuddles in the night. I don’t think they tried last night but I don’t know as I moved to the sofa.

@Anycrispsleft unfortunately no spare room. We are hoping to move in the next six months. I will be insisting on a spare room.

@Shoxfordian Most of the times he’s actually very thoughtful. Just every now and again we have a moment where I wonder if he’s engaged his brain. It was when he called me irrational though. I think that’s when I saw Red if I’m honest.

He’s been very sincerely sorry this morning. He’s said he was thoughtless and he’s felt bad all night. He can’t really explain what was going through his head but he said ringing me was definitely an accident. Basically he’s acknowledged he’s behaved poorly.

Let’s hope going forward he thinks a bit more.

The kids apparently did not get up so perhaps they’ve finally understood!

Looking forward to a spare bedroom when we move. I hope that’s ASAP!

“He’s been very sincerely sorry this morning.” Glad to hear it! Glad you got some rest, hopefully it’ll continue!

Imo start cancelling dc's fun activities. Tell them that you are far too tired...
And your dh is a twat.

I did! He slept on the sofa last night and the children didn’t wake me up! I feel like a new woman!

🥳🎉🎊 Well done!