To consider a team lunch to be a meeting, not my unpaid lunch break?

[realteal]

Prompted by the ‘is it ok to arrive at work at 9am’ thread.

We have fortnightly team lunches where we all bring in a plate and eat it in the staff room. It’s not optional.

AIBU to consider this a work meeting, and not to consider it as my unpaid lunch break?

My place tried but unfortunately I need to go the bank\doctor\dentist\food shopping\post office every Friday

I need my time and space to zone out and do my thing. When I worked in a SEN unit it was different because our dept was always on duty, but at all other work places I've really needed that time and space.

So is this a pot luck thing where everyone brings something to share? Like when attending a family barbecue or something?
This would stress me out as much as having to spend my unpaid break with colleagues. And I like my colleagues well enough.
Having to take the extra time to either prepare something the night before, or even just pop to the shop and spend my own hard earned cash on a sodding work lunch for others would piss me right off. What if I was skint? Or was too busy? And what about the fact that I don't want to eat other people's homemade stuff? Will lunch now cost me double?
I've seen some people's houses and unless I've seen a colleague's kitchen myself I'm not eating their cooking. I know plenty of people who have cats on worktops or they don't wash their hands etc. Yuck.

If I was paid hourly and my lunch was unpaid I would say a polite, "Oh no thanks, I prefer to take my unpaid breaks away from work. See you in an hour!" And I'd get my arse out of there fast!

Quick name change to comment because outing.... we have lot's of these at my work and the topic is WORK and even presentations .

I was also pulled up for going to the shops or walk etc on other lunch breaks and not spending enough time in the break room. My manager said they want to see in there a minimum few times a week sitting with others unpaid breaks btw !

@DoThePropeller

Technically, you are probably right. I wouldn’t be impressed with the attitude if you were in my team but it does depend on the job and rest of the work culture. What’s the approach more generally to flexibility?

What attitude are you objecting to? I wouldn't be impressed with an employer or manager that enforced something like this, what exactly do you think it achieves?

I worked for a university department where we had a "business" evening about once every three months. It was usually in a venue (bar or restaurant) in the city center and went on until the pubs broke up. However people were free to leave earlier. I did not mind these evenings but I was on a bad bus route and one of the few members of staff who did not drive. I asked the boss if I could be reimbursed for a taxi home if I produced receipts. He was a bit surprised but I made it clear that was the price of my attendance as the city center can be rowdy for a single woman walking round late at night.

I also worked in another place where the boss often asked me to get her a lottery ticket if I was going out.. As the shop was a 10 minute walk from the office and I then sometimes had to queue I used to add the time taken to my lunch hour. She never said anything but I was quite prepared with my response that the purchase had added X minutes to my assigned time off and I had gone at her request.

Sometimes you just have to step up and push back a bit. People will respect you more for not being a pushover and not take you for granted.

With the compulsary lunches I would duck out after say 20 or 30 minutes if you have personal stuff to do. After al lyou have shown willing to be there for the team lunch but not all of it. Just explain that you have a private errand.

I feel like sometimes places don't appreciate childcare , travel etc either.

They will put on an event but won't pay your parking, your taxi , your babysitter but you HAVE to go and are suppose to be grateful?

It's a working lunch and should be paid for as it's your free time
For lunch and your overtime

I used to work in a small (6ish) highly dysfunctional team which had a very high staff turnover. My boss was awful and one peer was highly toxic. My boss, to 'increase team spirit's mandated team lunches every day. Every fecking day we would walk to the canteen together eat at our table, then go back to the office. It started a few months before I joined as a solution to the staff turnover problem......

I hated it. But it was practically compulsory and I went along with it to fit in. It consisted of my manager talking at us mostly, driving the conversation.

I eventually decided to develop an excuse to miss it and so to take up running at lunchtimes, so missed 2 days a week, it was the most I could get away with. After a year, covid struck, so I could work from home. The relief of no more of those awful awful lunches. I left the team having been in the role for 18 months, but the memory of those lunches still haunts me! YANBU

@TorchesTorches everyday?! That is beyond ridiculous !! Wow! How did they think that would improve turnover is beyond me!

There should be allowances like, if on that day you have errands you need to run you can take time outside of the lunch to run them. Or you can decline that particular lunch.

Ideally if they feel this time is essential it could be a breakfast instead so it's done in work time.

They should 100% provide the food.

I'm surprised it's only just occurred to you this may not be affordable for apprentices... will you do something about that now?

Overall, although this is not really okay, I can't imagine it's worth being "that person" over the sake of one hour every 2 weeks

You sound like you hate your job/colleagues. I would look for another one. No one's forcing you to be miserable.

when in the office, we had regularish "lunch and learn" sessions - but at least lunch was provided;
they tried to continue them on zoom - I complained vociferously, as a responsible employer should be encouraging screen breaks (and a lunch break). They were dropped.

@idontlikealdi

I think this very much depends one the role.

NMW you should get a break.

Salaried professional, suck it up. If one of my peers complained about that I would quite frankly laugh at them.

This

@Palavah

If the lunch was at a Michelin-starred restaurant and provided for you would you feel the same?

Relevance?

Like pointing at someone complaining they’re in jail and saying well if it was a five star resort would you feel the same?

And it doesn’t necessarily mean you ‘hate your colleagues.’ I don’t mind my colleagues but I don’t want to be told I need to spend my free time chatting to them after working all day with them.

@DoThePropeller

Technically, you are probably right. I wouldn’t be impressed with the attitude if you were in my team but it does depend on the job and rest of the work culture. What’s the approach more generally to flexibility?

You 'wouldn't be impressed' that someone didn't want to be forced to spend their free time with you and others and would see this as having an attitude?

@realteal

What's the pay range like? Is this affordable for everyone?

Good point. We have some apprentices!

If people who are required to attend are on a legal minimum wage then this lunch break is unlawful (not just a breach of contract) as the employer will not be meeting statutory minimum compensation.

We have team lunches that are both forced and that we have to pay for ourselves. All very well for our highly salaried manager. Less so for the underlings… Bill always split too so no chance of paying less.

It very much depends on the level of the role, but quite honestly if someone complained to me at work about having to do this, I would think they were exactly the kind of person who won't get far.

I associate it with the kind of 'got to moan about something' pointlessness as at my last role during lockdown, when some people complained about the manner in which the company chose to disclose our bonuses (during Covid, knowing some people had been put on furlough and in the bigger picture, thousands lost all income), or the kind of people who would try to put an expense claim in for their extra electricity used for working from home.

It's once a fortnight and is clearly a (somewhat clumsy) attempt at building relationships amongst the team. If someone said to me they felt entitled to a separate lunch break afterwards so they could go and walk around the block, I'd let them do it but would be inwardly eye rolling.

@DoThePropeller

Technically, you are probably right. I wouldn’t be impressed with the attitude if you were in my team but it does depend on the job and rest of the work culture. What’s the approach more generally to flexibility?

Some people are so fucking controlling. She's an adult and if she's getting her work done pleasantly, you shouldn't be judging her attitude because she doesn't want to indulge in forced jollity in her own time.

OP YANBU but there are enough people like Dothepropeller, who think that if they're your boss they somehow own you, that it might be best to suck it up (and look for another job).

I don't think this sounds like a bad thing and could be beneficial in a team building sort of way without having to go on organised away days.

Maybe management think you should be given the opportunity to get to know each other better without work getting in the way, everyone gets the chance to be a bit more relaxed and social? After all, it's quite normal to socialise with colleagues and many people also meet their partners this way. Mumsnet is quite weird to be so anti being friends with colleagues.

It's only a couple of times a month so I don't seem the harm.

If it's compulsory then it's not your lunch break.

I had the same issue in a previous job. And it was teaching (adult education), so you'd spending the entire day interacting with people, and then you'd have to do the same at lunchtime. There was no downtime or time to yourself and I found it exhausting and draining.

I absolutely love my colleagues. Genuinely. My manager was a friend before I started working with/for her.

There is no way I'd want to be forced into spending my free time with them every fortnight for lunch.

I choose to spend my free time with them at other times (three of us met up with our kids at a park recently and it was lovely) but nobody would ever be forced into it!! If it's something work related, we get paid (and that's in a tiny charity with a tiny budget). If my manager requires our presence for something, it's paid for...because she's not a fucking dick!