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Original poster

to keep thinking about poor Sarah Harding

45 replies

user9900887 · 06/09/2021 14:10

I just keep thinking about her, I know thousands of women die from breast cancer every year but this has really affected me.
I was diagnosed with cancer (not breast) just before the pandemic and I just keep thinking how lucky I was.
It's bringing back so many memories for me and I just feel so sad 😢

OP posts:
rejectedcarrit · 07/09/2021 09:44

@Odisia and people with cancer can look great at times - the wigs for those who have had hair loss due to chemotherapy can fool you, they look so real and often there is a little bit of weight loss so some people look like they've had an amazing makeover. If you have a monthly chemotherapy routine, you might only look rough for a week of it. I know of people who didn't reveal they had cancer and people didn't guess.

PuppyFeet · 07/09/2021 09:59

@Namebunny

Agree Villanelle I think the term ‘ beating cancer’ was supposed to be inspiring but unfortunately got lumped in with all the stupid marathon running smiley stuff, which is just an added pressure on those of us that feel utterly crap. ‘Bloody getting through it’ would be what I would call it. It’s really hard, really exhausting really emotional and really challenging. There are times when crossing the kitchen to open the oven door and shove in a pizza is the marathon. And don’t get me started on that awful ‘campaign’ from m and s a few years ago. I feel for Sarah Harding and her family and friends, it’s awful. I’ve also lost two friends who I went to treatment with. I survived and they didn’t. Which I actually don’t know how to think about.
So true… I’m trying to get through it.. and I find the beating/fighting terminology very dispiriting because on the days I can hardly get out of bed I feel as if I’m losing…

It is a game of chance and you’re either lucky or not… that is the cold hard truth of cancer…

MissyB1 · 07/09/2021 10:02

I’m nearly 6 years down the line now from my breast cancer, and yes every death I hear about from cancer affects me deeply. It is triggering and scary, it brings up all those fears, anxieties and all the other emotions again.
And yes so far I have survived this horrible disease, but it has cost me so much along the way. And even this year as a result of side effects from Tamoxifen I ended up having Gynae surgery. So I don’t feel anywhere near “done” with this bloody awful disease.
I know I’m one of the “lucky” ones but I will forever fear that “luck” running out. I am so much more aware of my own mortality.

rejectedcarrit · 07/09/2021 10:35

@MissyB! Flowers Tamoxifen sucks! At the start of it all I thought I just had to get through surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy because they were the big hitters and would be the tough. Compared to those, taking a little tablet once a day sounded like nothing. But the side effects from Tamoxifen can be full on. And yet, everyone thinks I'm done now and I've got the 'all clear' and I've 'beat cancer'.

Namebunny · 09/09/2021 22:39

Hey missyB1, I’m so sorry you are having a crap time. If it helps I’ve got one mangled tennis ball bosom, tingly nerve endings and very iffy other things! My posh friend didn’t understand why I just don’t fly to LA and get lovely fakes like her mate who is a top model. Err…
Ha, am so with you on the tamoxifen front! I’m amazingly 6 years too. Rejectedcarrit, It’s really nice to hear you have tamoxifen issues too, thought it was just me that was somehow doing it wrong! What does it make you feel, and any tips? I know I get the same, ‘ but you beat it!’ Which of course is amazingly true. But what I think is brilliant about all of us, is that after the treatment, when we are broken and lost, we somehow have to put ourselves together again. Bloody hell, we have done that, we can do anything!
Puppyfeet, please NEVER feel as if you are losing. I get so angry at the pressure put on us - not only do you have to go through the shock of diagnosis and the brutal ( and it really is brutal) treatment, but then these utterly patronising wankers make it all out to be noble and pink ribbons and,’oh look, I ran a marathon while having chemo’ fuck that. Sorry, don’t normally swear. You are getting through it in whatever way you can. Some people have lots of help and family, some people don’t. It is a lottery and a roller coaster and like you, I found the warrior thing patronising in the extreme. There is nothing warrior like about just crawling through the next 5 minutes. And oh look, an hour. Because ‘ warrior ‘ suggests you have a choice to pick up the sword.
Grrr makes me so mad!
Hats off to everyone dealing with this crappy disease. Here’s some hugs in the depth of the night 💐💐💐💐💐

rejectedcarrit · 10/09/2021 08:38

@Namebunny "nice to hear you have tamoxifen issues too" made me laugh my head off. I wouldn't wish tamoxifen on my worst enemy...! But I'm having side effects that are standard issue. Full on menopause style stuff, hot flushes, night sweats, vaginal dryness - they don't sound so bad in print but they conspire to give you a miserable life. But the big one is bone pain. I walk like John Wayne now. Always stiff and sore when I get up from sitting or waking in the morning.

rejectedcarrit · 10/09/2021 08:46

I hit post too soon!
I don't have any tips, I take joint pain style supplements and I hope they help. 

I couldn't agree with you more @Namebunny - I endured it and I survived it and like you I'm living with a few scars here and there.

But we are here and that's just brilliant. We got luckyWine

Mercurial123 · 10/09/2021 08:48

I was on Tamoxifen for 10 years, menopause symptoms lasted the full 10 years. One year after stopping I have just discovered I have endometrial hyperplasia. Cancer really is the gift that keeps on giving.....

Good luck to everyone going g through treatment. So many people think the journey is over after surgery and chemo.

Mercurial123 · 10/09/2021 08:50

The pink ribbon really annoys me. It used to be a peach ribbon and it was taken over by Estee Lauder (I think) as a way to make money.

Defaultuser · 10/09/2021 09:02

@rejectedcarrit completely agree with everything you say, also think that the side effects of treatment are massively played down by drs and nurses.

The news about Sarah Harding also hit me hard, I had been thinking about her for months.

porites · 10/09/2021 09:27

Yes all the trite comments to my husband about "battling" his cancer when there was 0% chance medically of that happening and he was undergoing a daily stream of invasive/painful/nauseating treatment.

TrampolineForMrKite · 10/09/2021 12:50

I read that she put off seeing her GP until the pain was very bad and she was taking lots of painkillers to cope, brought home to me how important it is to go and see the doctor however scared you are. Poor Sarah Harding, rest in peace.

BabbleBee · 10/09/2021 12:56

Just adding my penny’s worth to the conversation about the language surrounding cancer, because I think it’s important that we do so openly.

My DD had cancer when she was 11, and luckily survived it. She hates the term ‘cancer warrior’, as do I. She wasn’t a warrior, she was a little girl that had to go through hell and back to be here now. She still struggles psychologically, and with a huge abdominal scar there’s a constant reminder of what she had endured. Warriors are brave and strong and she doesn’t feel that way. The term ‘warrior’ makes her feel like she’s failed.

EmeraldShamrock · 10/09/2021 13:01

It's awfully sad to see any young person dying early.
She lived life to the full when she had it. ❤

Nikki grahams death left me feeling sad she couldn't be saved.

IrishMamaMia · 10/09/2021 13:07

I thought it was strikingly sad too. I wasnt a fan as such but often read interviews with her in magazines over the years and she always came across as lovely. It's sad that her diagnosis was delayed because of Covid.
The Telegraph ran an article when the news broke about 'A Pandemic of Cancer' and I think that's a good point, so many younger people seem to be affected, I wish we could look more into prevention and early diagnosis.

NeonJellyBaby · 10/09/2021 13:21

I myself had a breast cancer scare two years ago. I’m only a year younger than Sarah and was constantly told by my GP and those around me that it was ‘very unlikely’ to be cancer at my age. However when I got to the breast clinic the thing the struck me the most was how many younger women there were there obviously going through treatment themselves. Some were a similar age to me and there were a few who were even younger. It was a real eye opener and a reminder that it can strike anyone.

NotPersephone · 10/09/2021 13:29

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Everdreamer1990 · 10/09/2021 15:58

I lost a friend a couple of years ago to BC. She had been in remission for about 3 years but it sadly came back & she died at age 30.

I lost my dad when I was 3 to leukemia & my biggest fear is this happening to me & leaving my DD behind.

It's an awful disease & each it ruins so many lives.

Anon778833 · 23/09/2021 16:32

I've been thinking about this a lot. I have heard that younger women tend to get more aggressive breast cancer. It's just no age. RIP Sarah.

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