What to do about the cat??

[StickersStickers]

This will probably be long as I’m really bad at doing nice concise posts but I need advice!

About 10 years ago a stray cat/kitten wandered into my aunts house and she kept it. I’m not sure what the original arrangements were regarding where the cat slept but it wasn’t inside.
After 2 to 3 years my Aunt moved in with my mom and dad. They lived a field away (rural farming area) and my aunt went back to “her” house everyday to look after the cat (and have some space from my mother!).
My dad died and left me my aunts house (he owned it) with the clause that my aunt had the right to live there for life.
So for several years things carried on. At some point they (my aunt, my mom and another neighbour) started closing the car in the garage overnight as she had been attached by other cats. As my aunts health declined most of the cat care was done by my mom and the neighbour.
My aunt passed away in May and soon after I told my mom that I would be renting the house to my BIL, his girlfriend and her little boy. If they hadn’t needed to rent I would have sold the house.

That was the start of the “what will happen the cat”. She doesn’t want anyone living in the house as that will scare the cat. She didn’t want workmen at the house as that will scare the cat. We’re now very close to BIL moving in and my mom is still refusing to accept she can’t close the cat in the garage any more. BIL is willing to let the door open so the cat can go in and out but he doesn’t want my mom or the neighbour wandering around the house morning and night to let the cat in/out. Plus the cat used to shit all over the garage and that’s where the washing machine and tumble dryer are.

Mom had another rant at me today and I just don’t know how to be fair anymore. Mom doesn’t want to take the cat as she already has 2 cats and doesn’t want to take it in and neither does the neighbour.

I’m losing sympathy for mom as it’s seeming less about the cat and more about her demands to do whatever she wants (she is VERY difficult if she feels she doesn’t have control, she was a nightmare when I was a teenager as she couldn’t control me any more).
If you got this far well done.
Any suggestions

Do you need to be that drastic? Once BIL's family is there and have installed their car in the garage won't she just leave it? Of course you know her best, but from the outside it looks like it would be worth giving her a chance. Avoid the aggro and see if she butts out once BIL has moved in and is (a) physically occupying the space he's paying rent on and (b) on hand every day to feed the cat. Am I right in thinking the property is empty at the moment? If so she may well behave differently once it's occupied.

Parents can be very complicated, I know.

It’s not actually a car garage, it’s a double garage and this back bit where the cat goes will be a laundry area and store tools and stuff. So no car.

I really don’t think my mother will back off. BIL has mostly moved in (unexpectedly over the weekend due to his roommate testing positive for Covid and BIL moved so he could isolate) and she’s still coming round.

Never mind animal behaviourists, a lot of us need mother behaviourists.

Fluffycloud tell me about it!!

DH is up there tonight (we’re still working on the house, kitchen is currently being installed) and I’m nervous about him meeting my mother. He’ll be calm and polite but stern! She might actually listen to him - she’s almost 80 and definitely of a mindset that the man should be listened to!

Either tell BIL that house comes with a resident cat or rehome it.

Tell your mum you've had to change the locks as part of the best practice for being a landlord, rather than offend her?

Can’t you just let BIL tell her in no uncertain terms that he is looking after the cat now and she must not trespass?

Mom was back again tonight when DH was there trying to say she had the right to be there. He was polite but very clear that the coming after the cat couldn’t keep happening.

I called her after and it finally seemed to start to sink in. BIL just called to say she’s knocked on the door (which is an improvement on just skulking around) to ask could the cat stay inside for just one night and she would sort something out tomorrow. That the other neighbour might take it.

So we’ll see.

@StickersStickers

BIL is willing to take on the cat - my mother not being able to give up control and wandering around the outside of the house when putting the cat to bed is the problem

In which case, re-home, especially if it shits all over the garage where the laundry area is. If it’s not there, your mother has no excuse to be wandering round. It’s all about her control over the house, not the cat. She sounds just like someone at my hobby who insists on taking over the feeding for all the animals, causing fights between the dogs etc. Bloody ridiculous, especially when she moans about having to pay for the food for the semi-feral cat who is never seen without a mouse in her gob.

@Fluffycloudland77

Never mind animal behaviourists, a lot of us need mother behaviourists.

😂 This!

(She drove me crazy at times when she was alive but now I just miss her like crazy)

Final (hopefully) update - my mother has taken the cat to her house!

@StickersStickers

Final (hopefully) update - my mother has taken the cat to her house!

Thanks for the update; that's good news.

I wonder if the cat might make a bid for freedom though? Cat may prefer the new -pliable slaves- humans in the old house!

Best wishes to you whatever unfolds. x

Thank goodness! Sounds like you can make decisions about the house in a way that suits you and your DH best, not the cat!

Great update! Hope all goes well for everyone cocerned . 🙂

Rep22 They aren’t going to be slaves though. Now mom has the cat the garage will be locked so no way in and she (the car) won’t be fed there any more.

Glad that cat has a nice home. Sounds good all round.

@StickersStickers

Rep22 They aren’t going to be slaves though. Now mom has the cat the garage will be locked so no way in and she (the car) won’t be fed there any more.

Apologies, I meant that to be lined-through and cheeky, as in cats viewing humans as their slaves ("Dogs have owners; cats have staff"), that's what I meant, sorry it didn't come out like that.

Cats will probably enslave us all in the end.

Rep22 I understood what you meant, I replied young in cheek that they weren’t going to be slaves. Think something got lost along the way!!

Funnily enough, when BIL told his girlfriend, she said she’d empty her Amazon basket - she had a bed and bowls and toys in there! So she might have been enslaved!

@StickersStickers

Rep22 I understood what you meant, I replied young in cheek that they weren’t going to be slaves. Think something got lost along the way!!

Funnily enough, when BIL told his girlfriend, she said she’d empty her Amazon basket - she had a bed and bowls and toys in there! So she might have been enslaved!

Hehe - perhaps we can start an underground resistance movement? I'll start training up some weasels...

Step 1 I would actually get the cat scanned at vets/cat protection for a microchip - genuine strays are very rare in the UK now a lot of little cats that people take in do actually have owners. It could end up going viral as cat and cat mum get reunited after ten years 😂

sweetbabycheese I can reassure you that in rural Ireland micro chipping is pretty much unheard of! The cat was less than a year old and my aunt had her 10 years (give or take). I think after 10 years she would be considered my aunts by anyone.