Mum holiday cottage over cleaning

[TheViewFromTheCheapSeats]

We’ve gone for a getaway in Somerset, peaceful relax time before work, and a few days in my Mum’s fussing is driving me mad.
The faff at the end always is painful, cleaning when I want to go (I strip the beds, put away clean crockery etc- the normal decent level). It impacts when I leave, as it’s the kind of cleaning where the kids need to be outside so it’s not remarked- so I feel guilty leaving a day early.

But now- it’s getting silly. It’s ineffectual fussy cleaning always (her house is messy and less clean than mine). She’s huffing and puffing with a dustpan and brush using it to sweep the downstairs. I feel like I can’t relax with the martyring around me- but honestly the whole process has resulted in the amount of bits I could fit on a tablespoon.

Just argh.

Also the ‘what shall we do’ pestering as I wake and as I go to sleep. I have three kids under 10 and they ask less.

Oh- while I’m at it… a related moan:

Insisting on following my car, insist of using their own sat nav.

Dad was there. I’m following signs, three over tired kids arguing and they get all cross when I lose them at a junction as I’m not constantly watching the rear mirror, whilst watching the signs, junctions around me and refereeing the kids. Yet despite me never ever driving over the speed limit they follow at a huge distance other cars and buses get into or miss me as I do a few turns in sequence in town.

They presume that I somehow know all these places I’ve never visited and guide them around.

Despite arriving at the cottage with the the aid of sat nav and having a far newer car with a proper sat nav- not looking at the road signs I’m using.

Argh

(And yes, I have tried programming the day nav before we leave, my son informs me they ignore it when they think it’s wrong…)

Sounds like mine, only she’d direct others or expect someone else to do it, whilst getting in the way/holding us all up by having a last cigarette outside (nobody else in the family smokes). She also takes all day to make a roast, which I cannot understand. Veg ready, meat in, yorkshires made from scratch and timed properly, how does it take her all day?! Drives me nuts.

What is it with our mums and holiday cottages!! We stayed near to the cottage my parents were using and were invited around for a meal one night. I spilt water on the carpet and my mum practically screamed the place down. Okay exaggeration, but she did make a huge fuss. We didn't visit again that holiday after my disgraceful clumsiness.

@ANameChangeAgain mines more like
-spill a tiny bit of clear liquid on navy carpet
-huge fuss, told to ignore or wipe with a cloth
-goes and then uses a bleach based cleaner on the navy drama
-more drama over this, fretting
-I end up washing out well the bleach based cleaner so as not to leave a mark

Ha ha, you might be my sister @TheViewFromTheCheapSeats.

I wonder if it's a generational thing? My Mum was a SAHM, as was my Grandmother, and I think they got their self-worth and identity from having a super clean home and assumed everyone would judge them for any minor indiscretion. U mean, I like a clean house and would always leave a holiday property in a clean state but my Mum won't cook anything in the oven unless it had a lid on it in case any fat splashes and she would never, ever fry anything in case fat splashed on the cooker. She even makes my Dad cook on the BBQ outside and won't let him cook in the kitchen in case he splashes the worktops 🙄. It's mental.

Not having a go at SAHMs by the way, just saying that in my Mum and grandmother's generation your whole job and identity was to "keep house" so that was where they got their self-worth and identity. I don't think it's the same nowadays, thankfully.

My mum went to university and worked in a FT professional role my entire childhood, and she’s not retirement age yet. Honestly? Fuck knows why she morphs into this on a holiday.

In fact, she herself wasn’t even raised by a stay at home mum to teach her. Though maybe this explains the ineptness of execution with the fussing…

Not self-catering holidays but going away with my late mother was maddening. From the moment we arrived she would not take responsibility for ANYTHING and would not take a decision either. I think she genuinely believed that was my job.

I’m on a pre bed rant I know, but @FangsForTheMemory I get that.

I think mine thinks I’m unreasonable (eg 9am this morning I got a very pointed ‘have you decided yet?’). But oh the bliss if I could have a holiday with no meal planning or decisions, just get in a car at a given time to be taken somewhere and then be given food after. To stand and announce I was ready whilst someone else got all the stuff together for the outing, like a child.

@TheViewFromTheCheapSeats

My mum went to university and worked in a FT professional role my entire childhood, and she’s not retirement age yet. Honestly? Fuck knows why she morphs into this on a holiday.

My mum was a young mum who left my dad, (probably understandable, based on her accounts) but who then dumped us on her mum (my Nan), went back to uni at 25 (genuinely good on her) and spent several years (beyond uni) living the life she clearly wanted whilst rarely seeing, us meaning my Nan looked after us for at least the first 8 years of our lives (not so great).

She only morphed into Mary Poppins once I had kids. It drives me mad because she's pretending to be something she's not.