To be feeling guilty about putting the TV on at 5.30

[Eileen101]

My kids are 3.5 and almost 18 months. They are early risers (as are most kids I think) and are both generally up by 5.30. I end up putting the TV on to occupy them while I drink my coffee so I can wake up a bit..it's generally around 30-45 mins, then we read, have breakfast, play. This is non nursery days so 4 days per week.
Feeling guilty about giving them this TV time. AIBU?

There's nothing wrong with tv! Ours is on all day in the background.
DD 15 months has tv from wake up to school run in between teeth, breakfast, getting dressed.
Anything to make the mornings easier with 4 dc!

If you interact with your kids a decent amount on a regular basis AND regularly plonk them in front of some animated nonsense which keeps them quiet for a few hours minutes, then you're fine. If you only do the second one and it's all day every day, then that's less ideal.

That's my thinking anyway. Sometimes we just need a window to take a breath ourselves....

My two eldest used to be like this.
Eldest was still waking during the night and younger one was up at 5am every morning. He went back down after the last feed about 11pm and slept right through until 5am then it was...I’m up, I’m up and ready to play. Both were early walkers. DS3 woke about 6am which was ok and DD I don’t remember but certainly up before 7am.
I used to be the same. TV on while I nursed a mug of tea until I came around. I was normally up at 6am before children but 5 was just too early after a broken night’s sleep.
They change as teens and then you can’t get them out of bed. Three boys all start work early. DS 3 gets up at 5am and in before 6!

I sympathise with you. Don’t tell MIL no reason why she has to know.

It depends really. That amount of TV in itself - fine, and who cares when the TV is on. But if you're not happy with the early wake-ups and want to change things / are worried that the promise of TV is fueling the early wake ups, then you may want to adopt a different strategy.

My youngest was at least 5 before I got him to 6 am getting out of bed instead of earlier. My mother had little sympathy - I wonder why .... Lol

Agree that TV time is worth it when you need it, and if that means first thing in the morning thats fine. Other families may need it at a different time of day. Thinking of my mother's tales again, our first TV was bought when my younger sister was born as a necessary distraction for me ...

What else would you do with them at that time of the morning?! DD - 2 is also an early riser, she in turn wakes her older brother up.

We come down blankets on the sofa and watch TV. This is 7 days a week…. She then goes to nursery for 5 of them… but it’s a long 2 hours waiting for her to go 🤣🤣

As a partially disabled mother I had no choice but to use tv to entertain my children and it was for more than 45 minutes in a morning. Ds1 achieved 4 x A*s at A level.

Even tv for long periods, as long as you are talking to them about it and joining in I cannot see the problem. I may have used the line "oh my goodness those troublesome trucks!" several times or questioned why would Thomas do that?

But yes, you need to be able to function to engage with very young children, coffee for you, tv for them. It is fine.

Why are you feeling guilt. Don't. This is normal.

Both mine used to wake at 5, I used to love my early morning sofa snuggles with a cup of tea and some early TV. Sometimes I didn’t even realise it was short CBeebies clips on repeat, although I did loath Granny Murray!!! Don’t worry about what your MiL says, TV is fine.

Wasn't sure how to vote.
YANBU to use the TV in this way.
YABU to feel guilty about it.

Am I the only one thinking that the YABU/YANBU voting is confusing on this one? I voted YABU … for feeling guilty, not for the TV time. Am I overthinking this? Silly, I know.

I actually think that a lot of the time, when parents say they feel guilty about their kids watching TV, they're a) just saying it because the think its the right thing to say or b) just saying it because they hear other parents saying it, and then think "Well, if everyone says they feel guilty about a small amount of TV, then it must be bad.

For some of us it goes really deep.

I have a proper neurosis about TV time which I inherited from my mum. My mum hated us watching TV and would walk through the room getting visibly distressed before turning it off.

I feel appalling guilt all the time about screen time. This isn't helped by the fact that I'm a single parent and I work from home so sometimes I depend on it to get work done.

I know its irrational but I feel terrible about screen time. It makes me feel like such a bad parent and makes me twitchy and anxious. I can rationalise it as "its my mum talking", but it won't go away. It's almost like religious guilt.

Apparently I’m not the only one !

Do what you need to do!

One of mine wakes at 5.15am every day. While I was still getting interrupted sleep in the night I ended up with one of those tv/dvd players in his room that was on a timer plug. He could turn it on from 5.30-6am then come wake me up.

I got a lot of stick for it, especially on here, but it was a sanity saver

There are some really great childrens’ programs on. My children are grown now but they all watched television (some quality shows, others not so much) and they’re all just fine. Let go of the guilt, people!

Actually, watching some age-appropriate and educational TV is great for kids! Kids can learn so much from certain TV shows and songs. I firmly believe that parents who say their kids watch no TV at all are doing their children a HUGE disservice and removing a perfectly good educational resource all for the sake of their own egos.

Completely agree. DD used to love Loui’s World on BabyTV, she loved repeating the words with them and it used vocabulary that would never come up in our conversations. How many 18 month olds hear the word “babushka doll” 😆

People are far too precious about TV. Like everything else in life, it’s all about moderation. I don’t know anyone IRL who wrings their hands about 30 mins of TV.

Remember, when radios came out, they would corrupt the youth and damage their education, the printing press would overload our brains, and even Socrates warned against writing because it would make people forgetful and that children couldn’t tell the difference between real and made up stories so telling them improper stories would corrupt them.

TV is part of most people’s lives. Deciding that half an hour a day for kids is damaging is ridiculous.

I do this with my 7 month old! She's still feeding through the night alot and won't take a bottle first thing. This time in front of the TV in her rocker chair whilst she wakes up properly gives me a chance to clean and sterilise the night time bottles, put some washing on and get a coffee. She's ready for milk after about 45 minutes. Thank goodness for iplayer.. Moon and me and Peter rabbit on demand!

Yes. You should be using this time to teach them a foreign language

Simple solution, according to a PP, kids will learn to read from subtitles. Stick on the French ones, they’ll be fluent in no time. 😆

I know its irrational but I feel terrible about screen time.

I have the same with being inside on any remotely sunny day. I hear my mum “you should be outside on such a lovely day” As a result, I hate summer and long for rainy days.

@edgeware

Did you know there is no credible evidence that TV is bad?

Yes, and that the only “bad” effects studies have supposedly found is poor language development and social skills. CBeebies has helped my 20 month old learn loads of words, dances and songs. Sometimes she’ll ignore me when it’s on and thats when I take it away. Don’t worry OP I’m sure if you’re keeping an eye on their screen time it can’t be that bad. My kid would just be running round tearing the house apart / yelling at mummy’s shoes for being too big if it weren’t for bing……

My son is nearly 15 months and used to sleep until 6:30 or 7. Recently though it's between 5 and 5:30 and our TV goes on then too.
45 minutes a day isn't going to hurt especially as it gives you a chance to wake up.

It’s fine and it does get better
However when mine were that age pretty sure there wasn’t anything on before 6am (this was before the various catch up options).
Count yourself lucky and have a doze

Why all the mum guilt, your children are safe and warm, you are nearby.

I bet dad's don't have guilt. They get up, shower, shave, get breakfast and then out of the house without a care in the world.

I'm preggo and so guilty of this at the moment. DD loves to get in our bed and watch tv whilst I get dressed, sort washing, hoover. I like to balance it by spending just as long going for a walk or the park to cancel it out

Yabu to feel guilty. It's a bit of TV, you're not rolling them a joint and cracking open a couple of cans for them.
You need a bit of time in the morning to get ready for the day. And why the hell not!

I was very much of the no screens school until we stayed overnight in a hotel with a telly which I put on to keep the dc quiet until a civilised hour. The day I got home, I put a telly in my room and the kids came in and watched while I dozed for an hour. It was lovely-cuddly, they enjoyed the programmes and I enjoyed the closeness and the extra rest.