…to wonder whether it’s possible to pull yourself up from rock bottom?

[Flawedperfection]

First of all, RIP to Sarah Harding. I’m so sorry her life was cut so short. Too young.

As the title suggests, I’m not in the pink/on the up. Not a beg or pity party, looking to improve things.
Can’t quite believe I’m in the position I’m in to be honest. Overweight, homeless, low-employed, friendless, shit family.
Might be recognized in real life here but don’t really give a shit as nobody has helped in any way, apart from 2 individuals who let me house sit for a few days apiece (and I did plenty of gardening, cleaning, diy and present buying to try to repay them for this).
Have been homeless for nearly 3 months (but not on streets), house-sitting and Airbnbs etc. Currently at an Airbnb. I stupidly left a paye job recently as the pay was so low and the conditions were crap. I took the job to see if I could get housing benefit but knowing my luck, I wouldn’t get a penny. I don’t know how to apply for benefits anyway and have always struggled and budgeted hard.
What’s surprised me most of all here (call me naive) is how many people have ignored me and my plight when they know I’ve been homeless and had nearly 2 weeks in my car at one point. I even slept in my work car pro at one point as I felt safe there. No one checked to see how I was. I hope that if I knew someone in need, I would offer them a sofa for a night or 2 (if I trusted them; obviously not a random male). Family have done nothing, so-called friends/acquaintances and colleagues. My ex-best friend kept saying “oh you can’t sleep in your car- that’s terrible”, and actually offered a room for one night, only to renege on this at the last minute. She didn’t even apologise or check on my welfare. I consider that friendship dead.
People I’ve helped financially etc have honestly turned their backs or maybe thought someone else would help; I don’t know.
Every night I slept in my car I really couldn’t believe it and was most worried about being seen/noticed sleeping as I am an incredibly private person and would hate to be seen in the vulnerable state of sleep.
I feel very let down and that I don’t matter. Sometimes I feel like a useless lump of cells that is no use to anyone. I am NOT suicidal but I just can’t see the point sometimes (I know I don’t mean this).
It’s horrible and I don’t want to be this person.
I’m hoping to take up a live-in job which will sort the homelessness and financial side, but that will be temporary. Need a proper fresh start in employment following this.
If anyone has been here- needing to completely start over, and has done it, please could you share tips and honest, yet kind points?

Hi OP

Sorry you're having such a hard time

If I was you I would go and see the homeless advisor at your local council for some advice.

They will be able to help you look at solutions to your housing problem.

I know you have said you are looking at live in accommodation, but there are a few other options too.

There is a scheme linked to housing benefit called discretionary housing payments (dhp) where the local council will have a fund you can make an application to, to get help with a deposit for a property.

Also even if you have no income you can still make a claim for the housing element of universal credit or for housing benefit. It is calculated based on you having 'nil income' or not receiving any wages or benefits and normally just requires a written statement from you and proof you have no income coming in such a bank statements.

Please reach out to organisations such as shelter or citizens advice as they can also offer you free impartial advice. You may find there are options out there than you think

I worked at CAB years ago and yes, it’s very difficult to get through on the phone; better to attend in person even if it means a bit of a wait. Good luck.

You can do this! No one likes claiming and very few people know what the system is like until there is a crisis in their life. Plus it changes so often even if you claimed in last it’s likely whole new set or rules and way to apply. Do take first step to make appointment with someone who can help and give local advice.

You're obviously very literate, applying for benefits is not that hard. There's no shame in it and certainly better than living in your car.

Thanks all. I’m staying in a cheap Airbnb- v basic but affordable (as a bit shocked at how substandard some Airbnb accommodation is but that’s another thread!).
Taking up a live in job next week or following week- all being well- and can start again then.
I agree with PPs saying that people who don’t offer a sofa are terrified that you’ll not budge and it’ll be very difficult moving the homeless person on etc, but it just surprised me what unhelpful c*s some people can be. No advice, support, suggestions etc. it reminds me of my parents who haven’t helped and or my siblings onto the property ladder, when they could afford to, and they know we are all broke. Not that money is necessarily ‘deserved’ by us, but again not a word of support, guidance, advice, nothing. Again, that’s another thread entirely!
Hard world we live in but some of us really can’t depend or rely on anyone for anything really. I need to learn to stop envying others who get so much help left, right and centre!!

Apologies for typos!

Most people don't have parental help onto the property ladder so you are not alone with that. I hope your new job works out for you and you can start to save sone money.

Thanks @RedHelenB, but everyone I know on the ladder has bought with help from others, and I include people who’ve bought as part of a couple (sorry if I didn’t make it clear that I am a single person with no partner to share the deposit and mortgage payments).

Claim Universal Credit you can get help with housing costs through that to help with rent. Call Shelter (housing organisation) and call/webchat/email CAB again.

You can claim UC online do it now.

OP you sound really jelous about other people and also set very high standards for other people. Friends should do this, parents should pay for this etc. We don't all get the level of help you deem us to but I know it can feel really unfair but ultimately you can feel proud of yourself as you did it alone.