Becoming a parent and sensitivity / emotional resilience

[Flowersandjellybeans]

There’s been a lot of threads recently about becoming a parent, regrets, what makes it easier/harder etc which have been really interesting…

I think we (DH and I) are pretty much at the point now where we need to decide yes/no to having a child (a biological one at least due to age, could look at other options if we change our minds later on).

I have two major concerns really, I think, and they’re actually possibly related, just keen to hear the thoughts and experiences of others really, and get a gauge of how unreasonable I am!

I am really really sensitive, and often have a very strong emotional reaction to things most adults seem to manage; for example, I can’t watch nature documentaries, I just can’t handle the sad parts, or certain news stories just haunt my thoughts for days - I just feel like I don’t have any emotional resilience. I’m also massively worried about climate change and what the world could be like in a couple of decades. DH says ‘well we’d have a 20 year old, they’d be an adult’ - far more relaxed about me than everything!

So I guess my AIBU is… am I being unreasonable thinking I could become a parent when I can’t handle some basic life truths? Or would be coming a parent help me become more resilient?

Sorry Yabu. Firstly the world will benefit from you as a parent as you care and are therefore likely to raise good caring kids (obv not guaranteed but odds are in your favour). Secondly, I've been told and I agree that you grow as a parent, you'll be amazed at the resilience it gives you because you have to stay strong for your child. Thirdly re climate change, the world actually needs more people...hear me out.... quality over quantity in this regard. If we want to solve the world's problems we need more problem solvers, more brains. If you want things in the UK to stay roughly the same economically and society wise we need babies. They are our future doctors, nurses, teachers, climate change scientists, inventors etc etc and we need them to work to help contribute to the tax that keeps our country going, to help fund state pensions etc etc and to help solve these problems that we have created and are yet to resolve.

Don’t say sorry! really appreciate your answer - was really hoping for exactly this - some perspectives other than my own!

I think your message and voting question are at odds with eachother. But hopefully you understand where I'm coming from. Yabu to question your ability basically. You'll be a great mum.

I would advise against it. Having children has made my anxiety massively worse! I worry all the time (like you I really worry about climate change and what world my children will grow up in). I don't regret them, I love them lots but my anxiety would be much less without them