How do you fit it in?

[WhenwillSleephappen]

AIBU to ask about play dates?

DC1 is at school. I work 3 days, so DC goes to breakfast / after school club.

When do I have play dates with friends? On days I’m not working or weekends?

I remember going to friends houses when I was younger, but I can’t remember if this was straight after school or not.

Also, if it’s the weekend and you go out somewhere do you do also invite their family to join or just the child? I suppose either could be fine - I just didn’t know what the usual thing to do was.

Sorry for the most boring AIBU, I’m just unsure how this stuff works.

Thanks!

Wait till you get an invite and reciprocate in similar style? I am a teacher so am un-keen on weekday, termtime playdates as I've always got work to do, so I save it for school holidays. But when I occasionally do, I'd go for a day I'm not working, pick the two DC up from school, let them play for a couple of hours; give tea and have other parent pick up before 6.30.

Round here mostly DC go to friends' houses straight after school then are collected by their parents around 6pm (or whenever suits you)
Weekends would also be ok but lots of people tend to family related plans then. If you did take out dc's friend I definitely wouldn't invite the whole family.

Did have issues with one set of parents who always act as a duo, stay for hours and both expect to be fed. We meet them in the park now!

I normally get the number of the school what's app & message directly. Ask if Tim would like to come for tea or to play - you are free Monday nights or weekend (whatever suits you)
If they say that's lovely, yes please, you can then say 'you're welcome to drop him off for a few hours if he's happy to stay alone, or you can come for coffee?' and they decide. If you're an introvert like me, pray for a confident child.

I was also baffled by this - it's easier as they get older because you know the parents & your DC don't want you there 😭

As a SAHM I only do playdates straight after school until the evening. Seems to suit working parents and non working parents fine as it leaves the weekends clear. Usually just the children, I'd be unwilling to host parents who I'm unlikely to have much in common with. Though I'd invite them in for coffee if they were collecting their child (generally I'd walk them home too)
Obviously you'll be more restricted with work etc, but when I did work id find a space one a half term per child to host and allow once per term "away". No point in doing it too much because of after school activities etc!

Both work FT so only free at weekends here. DH works Saturdays in term time so I usually do play dates then. I do invite parents to stay as they don’t know me from the school gate. I guess I might not for DS1 (8) but his mates all have Mums I am actively friends with.

Thanks. Lots of different ways of hosting and i really appreciate the ideas. Feeling less panicked that we won’t be having anyone here or DC can’t go to anyone in the week.

If you work 3 days then presumably you collect them from school two days?
If your dc wants a child to come and play after school, then you can ask the parent one of the days if they can come next week, or, if the other child's parents work, you can give them a note to take home with your contact details and ask them to get in touch so you can arrange something.
However, it isn't compulsory. Lots of parents work FT so can't facilitate this, others don't want / need to.

Term time I mostly do Fridays , but not very frequent.Kids only and have been doing that for quite a few years now. Sometimes we do a weekend activity and DD will bring a friend. Other than that it tends to be when someone or I need a childcare favour.

School holidays is when I "pay" it all back. 2/3 playdates a week, some of them for the whole day.

@Kite22

If you work 3 days then presumably you collect them from school two days? If your dc wants a child to come and play after school, then you can ask the parent one of the days if they can come next week, or, if the other child's parents work, you can give them a note to take home with your contact details and ask them to get in touch so you can arrange something. However, it isn't compulsory. Lots of parents work FT so can't facilitate this, others don't want / need to.

Yes I do collect on two days. I was thinking that was when I was most likely to do play dates. I was just having a little panic about fitting them in as I’m not sure how many play dates are usual! But looking at the responses it varies and it’s a good idea that I could use holidays to have more play dates than at other times.

Ds 7 usually has play dates in the school holidays.Very rare anyone has time in term time.

But looking at the responses it varies and it’s a good idea that I could use holidays to have more play dates than at other times.

Of course it varies. There are no set rules because people have different set ups,commitments etc. so most people just do what works for them.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

But looking at the responses it varies and it’s a good idea that I could use holidays to have more play dates than at other times.

Of course it varies. There are no set rules because people have different set ups,commitments etc. so most people just do what works for them.

Of course they do what works for them. It’s just given me ideas. I was just worrying about not having enough time to do them. It’s nice to know what others do.

Thanks for those that have contributed and shared what they do