Depressed.

[reighn]

Hello. Please go
Easy I can't really take much crap today feeing dreadful.

AIBU, lately since having my son (nearly 3) plus lockdown I've gained ALOT of weight. I went to the gym before lockdown and lost 7lb in a week. I haven't been back as I have no motivation at all plus it's a lot of money to get there and back every couple days I don't have that kind of money to get taxis as busses
Don't go the route.
Long story short, I've been thinking about leaving my partner of 4 and half years we have 2 children together and his child lives with us too, I just don't feel good enough for him at all. Don't ask me why .. I look at him and think " what the hell do you see in me in disgusting" I think will he cheat on me cos I'm horrible now? , I'm so so insecure about myself I used to be So confident!! I've lost it all I feel discusting I hate myself I cry everyday and I hate myself more because ALL THIS HURT should put motivation in me and get me to change myself and it doesn't!! I've tried everything and I give up because I get bored or because I've always been mega fussy with foods since a child it's hard for me to healthy eat. I find foods I can make but then I go off them or won't try new things it makes me physically gag. I'm a lost cause and I think my partner can do better ALOT better. Am I been unreasonable? I know I am arnt I😔😔😔

As someone who can't eat much foods and is nearing needing a feeding tube through no fault of my own.. YABU a little yes. It's just weight! You can loose it! :)

You don't need a gym. Just plan a route you can walk daily. Work that up to a run.
Look at foods that aren't to many calories that you do enjoy and plan a eating plan that way.

You don't need a diet advoce off anyone here.
You need to go and speak to your gp about your mental state and get help there

@Annoyedanddissapointed hi yes I do have depression and anxiety I have had it for 7 years now.

@PumpkinPatch21 I'm
So sorry. It's abit hard as I have a toddler with me 247 and two other children very little money to buy healthier meals for myself as I have a set payment each week to get essentials. I'm just having a bad day , Thankyou for commenting hope your okay xx

I really think a chat with a gp about your current mood and thoughts will be the most beneficial to you at the moment.
Hope it gets better for you

Oh bless you poppet, I didn't relieze sorry.
There's actually a app called Olio you can download for free, you can get free food usually veggies, breads, healthy foods etc. Off there from shops who can't sell it anymore. They update every day. It might be worth a look.
Also pop to your Doctors you shouldn't be feeling this way I'm sure your partner feels lucky to have such a kind loving person as you.

@PumpkinPatch21 Thankyou so much I will have a look I buy a lot of fruit as my kids love it so I don't like eating theres xx

Here's the thing about getting overweight. I was on Weight Watchers, and noticed that many of the people on it were wonderful people. They were so cruel to themselves because of weight. But they were truly kind and generous to others. There was something about the food that was a way that their spirit was telling them that they needed to feed themselves, because in all other ways, they were putting themselves last. Rather than hating yourself more, I think that you might need to nourish yourself with more kindness. Rather than punishment and remorse, feed yourself beauty and love. Don't even think about food. Think about things that make you happy--that make you feel like your true self. I know this sounds almost corny. But I saw so much charm in those women, and so much individuality. I hope you can just tune in a little bit to the special things that make you an individual, and feed at least a little crumb to that person today and every day, rather than starving her with remorse.