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Original poster

Older DC and baby - how do you deal with bedtime?

24 replies

PureAndSimply · 05/09/2021 15:10

I have two older step children, 10 & 12 and we have a baby together who is 7 months.

Baby has now started going down in their cot at 8pm with the monitor on and we'll go back downstairs for the evening.

My DSCs room is right next door to baby and due to their age obviously they are staying up later, especially in the holidays. They like spending time in their room, on the TV and Xbox to their friends.

We feel bad asking them to keep it down all the time once baby is asleep but they can get a little carried away when talking to friends on headsets etc..

Those of you with older DC and a baby, how do you deal with noise around bedtime? Do DSC just need to accept that they need to be quieter now from 8 onwards? (They haven't complained btw, just feel a bit bad!).

Baby has been a bit of a nightmare sleeper so far so this has been such a welcome breakthrough, but they sleep quite light so can wake regularly if they are being woken by shouts and the TV too loud next door.

OP posts:
Findahouse21 · 05/09/2021 15:13

We don't have any playing upstairs once baby had gone to sleep. Dd can read or chill in her room but active playing/TV happens downstairs. It does mean that dh and I don't get as much free time with the TV etc, but it won't be forever. We also use white noise to help keep baby asleep

SylvanasWindrunner · 05/09/2021 15:13

Do you have white noise on in baby's room? That covers all manner of sins in this house!

Original poster
PureAndSimply · 05/09/2021 15:15

@SylvanasWindrunner

Do you have white noise on in baby's room? That covers all manner of sins in this house!
We do yes! Quite loud as well so most things are covered but all it takes is a forgetful over enthusiastic yell on their headset when someone scores on a game or whatever and that's it!

We feel like we're constantly going up and reminding them to keep it down which feels unfair but also not sure what else can be done!

OP posts:
VestaTilley · 05/09/2021 15:18

I’d just move the Xbox downstairs for a few months and let them play in the living room. Not ideal if you and DH want some grown up time, but you can always get that when the older two are in bed, and it doesn’t have to be forever.

I had a bad sleeper too- so I know what it’s like to be terrified of someone waking the baby! Gin Wine

Oogachuckachopsy · 05/09/2021 15:23

I’d just tell the kids they need to keep it down once the baby is in bed. You don’t need to feel guilty for requiring them to be considerate when on their Xbox. They’re not being prevented from playing, just kindly asked not to yell out loud.

billy1966 · 05/09/2021 15:26

No gaming upstairs.

The noise from random shouts can be awful.

Sleep comes ahead of gaming.
There is no getting around this.

Newpuppymummy · 05/09/2021 15:29

No gaming upstairs once the baby is asleep.

TeenMinusTests · 05/09/2021 15:30

Soundproof DSC's room?

Bagelsandbrie · 05/09/2021 15:31

Gaming downstairs on the main tv (to be honest at this age it’s good anyway as you can keep an eye on what they’re doing). Noise to a minimum upstairs.

I have dc with an age gap of 9 years and this is what we did anyway.

HippeePrincess · 05/09/2021 15:34

We’ve never snuck around the house due to a baby, and as a result mine have been able to sleep through house parties etc. Nothing wrong with normal family noise, it’s not fair on the older kids to feel like they have to tiptoe round their home.

HoppingPavlova · 05/09/2021 15:42

Those of you with older DC and a baby, how do you deal with noise around bedtime? Do DSC just need to accept that they need to be quieter now from 8 onwards?

Mine are adults now but I had this back in the day. No, the baby has to accept a house contains noise and they need to learn to sleep without silence. I never made my kids be quite for younger siblings naps or earlier bedtimes and I went about life as usual as well, nap time was my favourite time to zoom the vac aroundGrin. Babies will get used to noise, just think of it as some short term pain for long term gain.

a8mint · 05/09/2021 17:32

I agree with the posters that the baby needs to learn to sleep through noise,

billy1966 · 05/09/2021 17:43

Gaming isn't just normal family noise, it can be an out of nowhere shriek that would wake the dead🙄......my walls are old had very solid too!

Thank goodness they no longer play so much here.

DrGoogleSaysSo · 05/09/2021 17:44

No gaming after 8pm. They can read in their room or watch a bit tv downstairs until they go to bed.

NotLawrenceLlewellynBowen · 05/09/2021 17:51

Gaming isn't just normal family noise, it can be an out of nowhere shriek that would wake the dead🙄......my walls are old had very solid too!

Completely agree. Random noises, shouts. Shrieks, bangs, crashes etc are RANDOM and not background noise like a washing machine cycle!!!

Auntycorruption · 05/09/2021 20:52

No gaming after 8pm. Dont think that's a bad family rule to have anyway!! Make time for a board game or family tv show

stripedbananas · 06/09/2021 18:13

My DD was born when DS was 18 months.

I figured as he would remember things better I would read to him at night as normal whilst DD would get put in another room to cry it out at 4 months onwards.

Turns out this is actually a thing anyway to get DC to sleep well at night. After a few days she automatically went to sleep at 7 pm when I'd read to DS so it all worked out in the end.

I didn't want to put her before him and ruin his routine. She just had to fit into our routine which she did and obviously isn't affected by this at all

stripedbananas · 06/09/2021 18:15

Forgot to add my DD got used to any noise so would sleep through it as it just turns into background noise they get used to. So just leave them to it, if she wakes up just leave her to go back to sleep on her own

Miracle29 · 06/09/2021 18:32

My ds room is next to my dd room and he likes to play on xbox or watch TV too. He switches off his games at 8.30 to watch a film. The only time I tell him to turn it down is if it's stupidly loud. I'm the same as others we taught our dd to sleep through noise and now once she's asleep she's asleep and can sleep through anything. You could always say dc are OK to play but not have headsets on of they are too loud when playing.

Merryoldgoat · 06/09/2021 18:45

I could Hoover around mine. They slept where we were in full daylight, dark, quiet loud, whatever. We talked normally etc and they would sleep through anything. When they actually when to sleep that is.

Bunnycat101 · 06/09/2021 20:57

If toddlers can learn to be quiet then so can older children and adults. My 5yo has got this concept slightly better than my husband who still occasionally needs to be told to turn the bloody tv down when watching action movies upstairs. Downstairs is fairgame in our house but everyone has to be mindful of those sleeping when upstairs.

Crowtooyo · 06/09/2021 21:03

White noise for baby and I'd probably ban xbox after 8:30/ 9.

myheartskippedabeat · 06/09/2021 21:03

I don't have any toys or consoles or tellys upstairs at all - bedrooms are for
Clothes and sleeping in
If they want to do that let them do it downstairs is your easiest answer

PluggingAway · 06/09/2021 21:07

Totally fine to ask them not to be shouting after 8pm, that isn't "normal" noise and it's ridiculous to feel bad about it. If they aren't capable of playing their games without shouting then they aren't allowed to play after the baby goes to bed. Simple.

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