Child arrangements

[Caringstepmum]

My step sons mother booked him in for scout camp on his father's weekend with out asking him first. She just informed us. As it is we have nothing arranged and are happy for him to go. But my question is, as he would have been with us should the emergency contact details be his father's?

But my question is, as he would have been with us should the emergency contact details be his father's?

Does it really matter? Firstly it's not your business, it's your DH's. Secondly, you're both crazy if you want to nit-pick and possibly create an argument over this.

If the mother is the usual emergency contact then I would keep it that way. Assume dad is regular second emergency contact.

The trip should have been discussed, but in honestly even if we had something arranged we would have rearranged to accommodate a residential trip. Kids have missed out on so much recently.

As the mother id go if there was and emergency. My weekend or not.

Yes the trip should have been mentioned sooner but you need to be flexible for the child's sake - don't let your son be the kind of father that the child ends up not wanting to see because he nit picks over contact, as they go into the teen years they will want to be seeing friends on both mums and dads contact weekends

It may have been polite to discuss with you first but as you have said you have nothing on and happy for him to go. The emergency contact bit is not picking - does it really matter? Also, this is one for your DH, try not to get involved as it will only end badly.

I think she was very rude not to check first. I think worrying about named contact is splitting hairs and unnecessary.

My ex made my dd miss the one exciting activity day her Brownie troop ever organised because he refused to let her not come to him. It was 3 years ago and I still regret not advocating more for her. Yes she should have checked but don't be a wally about this. Coparenting is hard at the best of times. Don't create needless drama.

A polite question from your dh as to whether he's needed as a contact for the camp is all that's needed.

@DeathStare

But my question is, as he would have been with us should the emergency contact details be his father's?

Does it really matter? Firstly it's not your business, it's your DH's. Secondly, you're both crazy if you want to nit-pick and possibly create an argument over this.

Exactly this.

Presumably, the child wants to go to scout camp so what’s the problem? Would his father not allow him to go? As for the emergency contact info, surely, as long as at least one parent is reached if needed then that’s the important thing.

I really hope your partner (the parent) doesn’t create an argument over this, it’s really not worth that. I say that as a child of divorce who’s parents fell out over everything they could, and as a mother who’s no longer with father of my children. Pick your battles. This shouldn’t be one of them.

Emergency contact should be whoever is nearer to the camp or best able to drop everything and collect DC if required. Don’t nit pick over it because it should’ve been your weekend.

Scout camp should’ve been mentioned and checked you didn’t have plans that couldn’t be changed. But since you don’t, let it go. It’s so sad when kids miss out on these things because one parent won’t ever let them do stuff on “their” time.

Scout paperwork for activities require 2 independent emergency contacts anyway so both details would I assume be on there. In reality if emergency contacts were needed then the leader would try both until they got someone.

I'm glad his dad is letting him go without a problem. A growing number of my Guides miss out on activities due to an 'awkward' nrp. But yes of course his dad should have been tod when it was booked - but I believe allowing a child to participate in these activities should be part of the agreement for them to join in the first place.

They will have several people as emergency contact

Why would it matter who is first?

How has this even been raised as a problem? Is it you that's bothered? Your dh? Why?

Also, if you have the kids over weekends and they have hobbies, you will often need to accept they will have times they won't be available