I am at breaking point with my younger sister's relationship. I've watched her waste years on a relationship with a man who clearly isn't in love with her as he should be. For context, they've been together for 12 years, since my sister was 26. She is now 38. She was happy going along with the relationship for the first few years, then wanted to start thinking about marriage and kids around the age of 30. She expressed this to her partner and he kept telling her 'some day', (I've also been a relationship with a someday, which often translates to never!). She wanted to wait until marriage to have children. Every holiday and big event from then onwards she waited for him to propose. I kept gently telling her that if a man is serious about you, he won't wait years to commit and knowingly let your fertility decline. 3 years maximum! Finally he proposed at the beginning of last year, but covid meant they've had to delay getting married. She's now at the stage that by the time they get married, hopefully next year, she will have to have IVF as she recently discovered she's got poor egg quality. Not only that, but he doesn't treat her great either. When they are together you can tell that she is much more in love with him than he is with her. He shows her very little affection. He goes to strip clubs regularly (often using the stag do excuse) with his friends and has spent hundreds on private dances, despite knowing it upsets my sister. The most recent occasion she was waiting for him to come home or call to pick him up, only to rock up in the morning having left the strip club at 5am! He jokes about this around the family, even though my sister gets visibility upset and annoyed by him mentioning it.
I know the advice is not to interfere or get involved but I am so angry by this poor excuse of a man and time waster. I'm so sad my sister has spent some of her best years with him, and it's taking a lot for me to hold my tongue around him. She could well end up childless, which I realise is her own 'fault' and 'choice', but I genuinely feel she's been strung on for years and years by him 