To ask how much you would spend on a hen weekend?

[rose88xx]

Hi everyone,

Posting here for traffic I hope that's ok!

I am organising my sisters hen weekend. It will probably be early next year but want to get an idea of prices before booking anything. I haven't been to a lot of hen weekends as I lived out of the country for a few years and missed a lot of my friends hens.

Wondering how much you would expect to pay for a weekend? Thinking of a shared house somewhere, good quality/fairly luxury style accommodation (hopefully each guest with their own room, a group of 4/5 girls) in a nice town/city. Guests would stay for 2/3 nights depending on their schedules and travel times. I would be happy to cover a bit more of the accommodation costs for people staying for only 1/2 nights.

The itinerary i'm planning is:

Arrive Friday, drinks, takeaway, games in the accommodation
Saturday fun activity (crazy golf, art class etc) and a nice meal out
Sunday spa treatments

It would be great to hear what you would expect to pay for accommodation, and whether you prefer a fixed price for everything (including food and activities) or to pay for things as you go?

If it helps we are a group of professionals in our mid thirties, so OK for disposable income.

Any other tips or love/hates about your hens would be great!

Thanks!!

£300

£250. But only for a VERY close friend and group whose company I really enjoyed. But then I'd also expect to share a room to cut costs.

Fixed price.

Tbh I prefer just one event though so £50 for afternoon tea maybe up to £100 for spa day.

What are their situations? High earners? Low? How easily can they get time off? Do they all live near each other and if not how far will people have to travel?

I’ve been to loads of these and I couldn’t get excited about another tbh. We have much less money these days and weekends are precious. But a few years ago they all ended up costing way way more than they were meant to, especially if the bridesmaids suddenly decided the bride shouldn’t pay for herself and everyone else had to split the cost.

You'd be better off sending out an anon survey to those who will be attending.

For a very close friend £250
But personally I hate weekend away type hen dos. They inevitably involve a days annual leave, there’s always an argument about travel arrangements, someone always wants to pay £7.28 less than everyone else because they had one less cocktail. Can’t be arsed with it.
I much prefer the idea of a big night out, more affordable and practical (less childcare issues) and therefore more of my friends could come.

@lap90

You'd be better off sending out an anon survey to those who will be attending.

Thanks! I do plan to do this too, but wanted a ballpark figure to suggest to them, as I really have no idea!

@AnneLovesGilbert

What are their situations? High earners? Low? How easily can they get time off? Do they all live near each other and if not how far will people have to travel?

I’ve been to loads of these and I couldn’t get excited about another tbh. We have much less money these days and weekends are precious. But a few years ago they all ended up costing way way more than they were meant to, especially if the bridesmaids suddenly decided the bride shouldn’t pay for herself and everyone else had to split the cost.

All the guests for the weekend live in the same city, so my plan is to choose somewhere close to that.

I understand your feelings about hen weekends though... i'm sure a lot of people feel like this and the few that I have been to I didn't enjoy and thought were too expensive!

I am only really considering this as it is a small group of very close friends, so we know what activities we enjoy etc. Also my sister has lived away for years and hasn't seem much of these friends due to COVID and travel, so think they will be happy to make a little more effort. They haven't had to attend any other bridal events (like dress fittings etc) so may also be happier to make more effort for the hen.

@lap90

You'd be better off sending out an anon survey to those who will be attending.

I agree!

Usually on Mumsnet people like to be really extreme, so you'll probably get a lot of no more than 20 quid answers.

I'd send them a Google survey and ask them what they'd like to spend, how many nights, how far to travel, etc. I personally would say 1 night, 2 max.

The best Hen I went to had various ‘entry points’.

Saturday activity (didn’t go so can’t remember what it was)
Saturday afternoon tea
Saturday evening dinner in a private room at a restaurant.
Dancing at a club
Hotel overnight
Breakfast

Some people did everything, some came to elements. All in a major city so easy to get to / leave etc.

Very good idea.

I wouldn’t mind spending £100’s on a ‘destination’ hen if it was a place I wanted to visit anyway and a group I enjoyed.
Not willing for beachside, spa days, or any number of things I don’t like.
I saw one on here where bride wanted an afternoon tea with children. Wouldn’t go to that.

What I did is come up with a few options at different costs and put out to group what would they prefer?

So for example with your weekend away make bits optional - like the spa it’s expensive if you don’t like them or some spas let you just use facilities for a small amount and then treatments on top

Same for activities let people pick if they want to join they could just stay at the hotel if not

Just read your update so actually I think what you’ve planned would be fine as a smaller group

Also adding - a hen was supposed to be for close friends only and most people didn’t have dozens ! Very intimate with lots of in-jokes etc.

Now they have morphed into yet another narcissistic event with all and sundry being invited. It’s no longer a ‘celebration’ but an excuse for the bride to get free stuff.

You’re doing it the right way so just be open and ask directly. If i was invited to a hen organised by someone I’m not close to I will pay for however much I valued the activity in isolation without the ‘hen’ part. Anything from £20 to hundreds. If too much I just wouldn’t go.

Thank you everyone!

It sounds like optional activities is popular.

Maybe a good option would be if I covered the cost of the accommodation, so guests can come and go as they please without having to worry about that cost.

Probably £300 max. Try to plan costs based on £200 each as you will ALWAYS get some people dropping out and additional costs building up. I like the sound of the weekend though if you're good friends. I think crazy golf is a great idea as that'll be a load of fun and v inexpensive. Maybe therapists visiting on Sunday, especially if you have a cottage with a hot tub??

How many people actually have a spare £300 to piss up the wall though? Honestly, I'd grudge even spending 100 though

I wouldn’t go because I don’t like Hen Weekends. A day/evening is plenty.

I think that it’s best to have a fixed price if possible but to outline where additional spending will be incurred.

I'd set up an anonymous poll to WhatsApp to people to ask if they would be happy to spend
Up to £100
Up to £200
Up to £300

Personally I would be happy to spend up to £300, if I was close friends with the bride and knew the other attendees, and the activities sounded like fun. But I don't have kids yet and can easily work overtime if I need extra money one month, so don't have a tight budget.

£2-250, and I'm on a high income. But
A) I would expect to share rooms to reduce costs. More fun anyway.
B) agree with the multi entry point option. On my hen some people came just for the afternoon, some just for the dinner, some for the evening out, as suited their budgets/preferences. A close core of around 8 (mainly family & a couple of best best friends) did the whole thing.

Accommodation is the thing I most object to paying for on a hen, especially if you all live near each other. It immediately adds a couple of hundred quid on and a)creates pressure to do two nights as most places want you to book min 2 nights and b) forces a horrific morning after where you all feel rough and just want to get home but feel forced to awkwardly socialise.

I don’t think you should cover others’ costs.

Eg you and your sister book accommodation near the friends’ location and ask the friends for local activity / restaurant / bar recommendations and who’s up for doing what, then book and people pay their costs for those.

‘Multi entry point’ option wouldn’t work with the accommodation and numbers OP is planning, unless the accommodation is low cost.

My idea of hell.
I would rather spend on a meal and go home rather than spend a weekend with some people I hardly know playing games.
Maybe I'm just old and miserable but I have little spare money to spend in myself so couldn't comprehend spending that on myself for someone's hen do x

I am on a low income so couldn't really spare £200 for something like this but I think that's the minimum it would cost given on what you're proposing so it's a tricky one.