Please can anyone define what someone with good social skills is like ,?

[familybfive]

Trying to help DD who really struggles with social situations and social skills,… i also find this area a challenge too
TIA

Not sure if you're referring to connecting with people/making friends. If so - How to Make Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a great book and still highly respected despite being written ages ago.

Someone who is able to adapt to a variety of social situations, who is confident speaking with people and is able to make conversation and show an interest in the people that they are with. They want people to feel included and are polite to service staff, if there is a problem, make sure that it is dealt with discreetly.

Someone who is perceptive about their surroundings and how the people they are with might be feeling. Someone who acknowledges and interprets social cues.

Good at adapting to different types of people and different situations. Can figure out how to make other people feel relaxed and comfortable. A lot of this comes from noticing how people respond and learning what works and what doesn't. Also the confidence to put themselves out there a little, and risk making social mistakes - it's impossible to get it right every time.

being aware of other people.
being sensitive, paying attention to how other people seem to be feeling.
be kind, considerate, polite, helpful.
communicating clearly and simply, without any edge.
not saying the first thing that comes into your head.
cultivating tact.

Confidant talking to strangers

Some excellent definitions on here so far

Could you explicate a bit more? How old is DD? How exactly does she struggle? Does she struggle breaking out of her shell to approach social situations? Or is she awkward with others once she gets into social situations? Or both?

Not sure exactly what social skills you need? How old is DD? But here are some social etiquette basics.

• Never double dip food
• If you need to blow your nose somewhere public, if you can't move to another room, at least turn your head away from other people and try to be discreet
• Never talk with your mouth full nor chew with your mouth open
• Always sneeze into a tissue, you hand or elbow
• Don't stab food with chopsticks. If you can't use them, ask for a folk
• If you are in the UK, don't ask people what they earn or how much their house cost- apparently this is a common question in some Asian countries, where as here it might be considered rude.

DD is 15 , she’s on the autism spectrum and she really struggles with friendships

she is quite confident (youngest of 3) but she can often interrupt , speak too much or over share ..,

but she is a lovely, friendly fun girl, who would just like to included and have friends X

Hope this helps OP www.leedscommunityhealthcare.nhs.uk/seecmsfile/?id=3201

Check out the social skills and interaction section www.leedscommunityhealthcare.nhs.uk/our-services-a-z/speech-and-language-therapy2/speech-and-language-therapy-toolkit/

I suggest this often on threads like this and nobody seems to take it up. Google Vanessa Van Edwards. She has a book, but her website is a great start. Small easy-to-try tips. It helped me realise where I was going wrong.

I've always struggled until recently. I always smile (I think it reaches the eyes!) I always saying good morning! Ask how people are. Offer up a drink and some small talk.

And I always talk to people about things that I think will make them happy, usually holidays, their kids or their dogs!

For teens, it'll be things like their clothes, the music they like or their hobbies. If DD has a habit of over sharing, tell her to just take an interest in people, and take their lead. If they share how their weekend was, she can reciprocate, if people talk about their health, then reciprocate in the same sort of manner.

I never thought I was great with people, but DH told my boss before he met me "alligator gets on everyone's good side. She finds out people's life stories the first time she meets them!"

They both call me the chameleon now, and I get sent in as the fixer of fractured relationships.

Just being nice, being perceptive to what people need and figuring out peoples likes and dislikes has turned things around for me.