After years of post-separation abuse and control, I've finally decided to contact the police about my son's father's behaviour which has included stalking, breaking into my house and various emotional abusive behaviours. The police took a statement and I mentioned the fact that during our relationship, I used to wake up to him having sex with me whilst I was asleep. This was made as a comment to give them an understanding of his entitlement and historical behaviour. The police now want to pursue this as rape. I wanted to pursue the complaint as coercive and controlling behaviours but now this has been taken out my hands because they are pursuing it anyway. We haven't been together for four years and it took EMDR therapy two years ago to properly discuss the sex whilst asleep which uncovered a lot of unresolved trauma. I'm just now conflicted about whether the police should pursue this as I wasn't traumatised at the time (although confused, angry and in pain) but also feeling like it did happen and I now live with the consequences and spend hundreds of pounds on therapy to process this whilst he just gets to jettison that baggage. It's been such a long time and I can't decide whether to let sleeping dogs lie or to feel like "this happened and that's not ok and he should be accountable,"
I don't know what the right thing to do is. Any advice?