I will try to be as clear with this as possible.
Just wanted to see other people's views on this .
I do apologise for grammar and other little mistakes but English isn't my first language and despite being here for 15 years in the UK I still struggle but tryyyying 😀.
I have met this male friend10 years ago, he was good looking and intelligent but I never was romantically interested in him, he is also 12 years older than me and was madly in love with me back then.
I have told him many times that there's nothing more than I can offer other than "being friends" .
We were friends for some time but it got awkward after he openly started telling me how much he loves me.
3 years later, I met my wonderful husband and I am now pregnant with our second baby.
The other guy was still "trying" knowing I was getting married then after I married my husband, by messaging now and then with love quotes and romantic movie shots, he also did ask if I could borrow him money on one occasion.
My husband was aware of this friend of mine and his name is known in my family due to his behaviour (texting me love quotes etc) during our relationship and life together.
I am now with my husband for around 7 years.
My friend eventually found someone, got married after 3 months of knowing her and got her pregnant.
I was very happy for him as he was stating that he is in love with her so I was genuinely happy and relieved that he managed to found someone after all these years when he claimed he loved me .
Very bizarre but we even had been invited for the wedding but couldn't go. (Not that my husband wanted to anyway and I respected his decision)
My now old friend has 1 child with this woman and around 1 year ago he messaged me ( he would contact me now and then asking how life is, etc after getting married) asking if I could hang out with his wife 😶.
Just because she moved from different country, didn't really know anyone here yet and didn't have chance to meet anybody and she just have given birth and felt lonely.
I have agreed to pass on my contact number and for her to message me if she wants to hang out .
She eventually did message me and we went for few coffees and really had good time together. She really is a kind and nice person.
I sometimes find this awkward when he messages me asking how was the "meet up with my wife etc"
At some point now, my old friend is still in my life and now his wife is also in my life .
I dont mind his wife as I said , she is so nice and we get along really well, our toddlers play with each other often.
It gets awkward when she invites me and my husband over for a "double date" , I don't know how to tell her and if I should bring it up, my husband said from the start that he doesn't want to see her husband due to his behaviour in the past and that he wasn't respecting our relationship and was still trying to break our relationship - fair enough.
The problem is , I dont know if she knows the truth.
I dont know if I can just openly tell her that we both won't be coming because your husband did this or that and my husband doesn't fancy being friends with him 😑
Should I ask her if she is aware that her husband was in love with me for the past 7 years ?
And all the things he's done are the reason why we keep declining coming over ?
It is getting a bit ridiculous.
I dont want to get involved in their relationship and tell her something she may not be aware of.
I assume she knows of me as and old friend of his.
I don't feel comfortable in this situation anymore.
Her husband (my old friend) has also randomly messaged me 2 weeks ago asking again if he could borrow some money because apparently they are struggling. He also said that his wife was going to ask me but she is shy and that's why she didn't.
I declined as I am not in position to lend them (or him) 1k right now and my husband would not like to do this because of previous experience with lending money.
This is just getting really weird as you can see.
I dont know if I should carry on with this friendship or not.