My neighbour's DH is driving me mad with this.

[DoubleNegativePanda]

I live in a semi-detached house. My neighbours are very nice, and we've gotten on very well. But the DH does something that is driving me absolutely mad. What I think is happening is that when he uses the toilet, when he goes to put the seat back down he just tips it and lets it fall. So multiple times of day and at least twice in the night, there is a crashing BANG in the house. It boggles me how loud it is on my side, as I rarely hear anything else from them. Only the relentlessly slamming toilet. It gives me a jump every time. If I happen to be on our toilet sharing the wall I can feel the fecking BANG on my own bum and I HATE IT.

So my actual question is: AIBU to ask him to stop crashing the toilet seat down all the time? Would I speak to the wife, who I know, or to the toilet seat crasher I've hardly spoken to before?

Speak to the wife if you know her better. I wonder how she puts up with it??

I assume it's not a small child?

Gift her one of those fluffy toilet seat things? Will at least muffle the bang and slightly passive aggressively get your point across?

Option on Flamenco lady loo roll doily cover thing.

Buy them a soft close toilet seat for Christmas?
Seriously though, how thin are your walls if you can hear that?

Buy them a soft close toilet seat for Christmas?

We have one, my mum doesn’t. My dad goes mad with me for the same reason.

@Chamomileteaplease

Speak to the wife if you know her better. I wonder how she puts up with it??

I assume it's not a small child?

I have no idea how she tolerates it. Last night DD said "How has Rhonda not smothered him in his sleep already?"

They are retired, no children in the house.

We have two soft close seats and the one in the end suite is a normal seat.
I ALWAYS forget this at 3am. One of these days I will replace it.

When my son was a teen, I nearly strangled him over this very issue. His life was spared due to the invention of the soft close toilet seat.

Like others we have a soft close seat and I always forget others don’t when I visit them. Maybe they’ve just replaced theirs and they’re still getting used to it?

@GoogleWhacked

Buy them a soft close toilet seat for Christmas? Seriously though, how thin are your walls if you can hear that?

The weird thing is that the walls are NOT thin, and we rarely if ever hear each other. We don't hear TV noises etc. I once went over to apologize after teenage DD and I had a raging row after being stuck in the house together for months on end last year, and she said they never heard a thing. I was shocked, as we'd completely lost it and been screaming at each other. We don't usually fight, but quarantine did us in after a while.

I have never heard of a soft-close seat before. I will happily invest in one and gift it to them. I'd install it myself if they want.

We have soft close in the en-suite, it's life changing!. Well maybe not but saves so many arguments

Yep, soft close toilet seat will be your saviour

Jesus! Your bum is rather sensitive, detecting the vibrations through the wall!

How do you know it's him and not her?! 😂.

I'd mention it to her as your know her better but more along the lines of 'we keep hearing a big crash'

Or even better - when it happens in the day - rush round to knock and ask if all ok?! Every time..they'll soon stop!!

@Yummiliscious

Jesus! Your bum is rather sensitive, detecting the vibrations through the wall!

I'm sensitive, Aubrey!

@Nayday

How do you know it's him and not her?! 😂.

I'd mention it to her as your know her better but more along the lines of 'we keep hearing a big crash'

Or even better - when it happens in the day - rush round to knock and ask if all ok?! Every time..they'll soon stop!!

I'm assuming it's him and not her, because she'd sit down to wee and he would lift the seat (and then bang it down).

Maybe they’ve had a row about him leaving the seat up so he’s making it crash down to prove that he’s done it 😂

I think it's her, she's being passive aggressive with him for leaving it up all the time. Not something I do at work sometimes ~ oh no! (Unisex work loo)

Genuinely -
I would go round and say you’re really worried about a constant banging at odd times of night and you think their might be something going on in their wall cavity(?!) (maybe someone else can come up with a better reason

At least he's putting the seat down.

speak to neighbour and suggest a soft-close toilet lid/seat.

Suggest a soft close toilet seat to them, they are not expensive and work very well.

Her bum could actually suctioning the seat up as she stands from sitting on the toilet, then crashing down. I've got a substantial arse and it's happened to me. I've since bought a quiet seat.