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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childcare when ill with covid

27 replies

Duopuss81 · 02/09/2021 07:56

Me and DD age 2 have tested positive while DH has managed to dodge it so far. She’s fine but I feel dreadful! Aching, tired, feverish.
However in a bid not to catch it, DH is keeping away from us and doing literally no childcare while I struggle on.
I don’t want him to get it obviously but I don’t know how I can look after her for 10 days feeling like this! Plus, he won’t do child care but then happily wanders in and out of where we are with no mask, let’s her give him the occasional cuddle etc - it does feel like an excuse not to do anything rather than really trying not to contract the virus! What have other people done in same situation?

OP posts:
chillibeansauce · 02/09/2021 08:01

Do you have a garden he can take her in ? You need your rest OP, he can wear a mask around her and let you have a few hours sleep.

Florin · 02/09/2021 08:02

I would tell him to take your child and you go back to bed. If he is ok giving her a cuddle etc he can look after her, he is just using that as an excuse to take it easy for 10 days.

AntiSocialDistancer · 02/09/2021 08:04

There is literally no chance I would let my husband pull that stunt.

Unless he has awful health anxiety or serious health issues?

waterrat · 02/09/2021 08:07

Gosh how awful. He needs to spend several hours a day caring for her children are less likely to pass it on and ic she is not sick with symptoms He needs to just take that minor risk. How horrible of him

Unanananana · 02/09/2021 08:08

Wow what a prince! No partner of mine would ever pull that shit. He should be taking care of her as much as possible while you get better.

When you are a parent, you don't get to dodge sickness. Thems the breaks. What would he do if he was the one with covid? If he would expect you to take care of your covid positive toddler while he recovered.....whats sauce for the goose.......

JennaPenna · 02/09/2021 08:09

Nope sorry he needs to take over

NerrSnerr · 02/09/2021 08:10

What would he do if you told him you're going back to bed and he has to care for your daughter? You need to spell it out to him that he needs to step up.

When you're better you need to carry on ensuring he does his fair share.

Booknooks · 02/09/2021 08:12

I bet he is, it's not an ideal situation but he needs to look after his child so you can rest.

lanthanum · 02/09/2021 08:18

Him taking her out in the garden sounds like a good way to give you a break with minimal risk to him. Other things with a mask on.

girlmom21 · 02/09/2021 08:32

If he had Covid you'd be doing the childcare. I guarantee it.

What kind of man puts himself ahead of his daughter and very poorly wife?

He needs to step up regardless of whether he catches it or not and let you recuperate properly.
Ask him what he'd do if you ended up on a ventilator, the lazy arse.

Angryfrommanchester1 · 02/09/2021 08:38

Unless he’s CEV he should just get on with looking after her whilst you’re ill. Yes it’s a risk once it’s in the house, but basically tough, it’s an airborne virus in the house now.
He shouldn’t be behaving like this. 4/5 of us succumbed pretty quickly in January after DH was first to get it.
Tell him you’re to I’ll to get out of bed today, she he needs to take over with DD.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 02/09/2021 08:40

Unless he is high risk I'd just be saying I was too ill to look after her and heading for bed with instructions not to let her in to see me

woodfort · 02/09/2021 08:47

If my young DC and DH had Covid I wouldn’t stay away from my DC unless I was particularly high risk. I’d feel pretty annoyed at DH if he wanted to in the reverse situation.
My toddler recently had a vomiting bug. I couldn’t stay away from her to avoid getting it, it’s my job as a parent to look after her. DH equally bathed her, held her, let her throw up on him multiple times an hour etc because he’s her parent.

burritofan · 02/09/2021 08:54

What a horrible man.

Siameasy · 02/09/2021 09:22

He’s bang out of order. I have Covid and DH has had to look after DD because as I have found out, if you don’t rest with this virus it can reactivate and come back worse

PaddleBlue · 02/09/2021 09:26

What a selfish twat he is!

cadburyegg · 02/09/2021 09:36

He needs to look after her.

Selfish twat

Twilightstarbright · 02/09/2021 10:46

If he had an underlying condition, or it’s a case where he doesn’t work he doesn’t get paid and you’d be in serious financial difficulties then he needs to stay in one room and only go out to work where possible. Otherwise he needs to suck it up and parent his child.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/09/2021 11:00

“In a bid not to catch it” Hmm What a horrible man!

Leaving you to do all childcare while you have covid, and keeping to himself whilst perfectly well. No way should he be doing this!

He needs to pick up ALL childcare while you’re feeling unwell. Garden as much as possible, wear a mask, keep washing his hands.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/09/2021 11:01

Even my exh took the kids completely off my hands when I had it!

AFS1 · 02/09/2021 11:17

I’m sorry both you and your daughter have covid. My partner and I both had covid at the same time. He was more ill so I did the bulk of the childcare, but he stepped up when he was feeling better. If you’re living under the same roof there’s no point him trying to isolate himself - you were both probably at your most infectious before you even knew you had it. He needs to step up and help you out.

And the iPad/TV/phone are your next best babysitters!

TheRabbitStoleMyHat · 02/09/2021 11:31

I’d be reading him the riot act, honestly. You can guarantee if he catches it he won’t be going near you or your child then either as he’ll be ‘ill’. What a selfish wanker.

Adelais · 02/09/2021 11:36

He needs to take over the childcare while your poorly.
He may catch it of course but hopefully it would be mild or by the time he has symptoms you’ll be feeling better and can take over.
Obviously if hes CEV then he should stay away.

MadameOvary81 · 02/09/2021 11:38

When my DS and I had covid, my partner did everything for both of us and never got sick. We had no choice but to risk her catching it. I ended up in hospital with it then bed-bound for 2/3 months when home. I'm still not right 18 months later and she still steps up to the plate when I have a bad day, despite working a 50 hour week as a technical director and doing a part-time phd. Your partner is slacking majorly! Sorry, OP.

Moelwynbach · 02/09/2021 11:38

Me and my husband had COVID one after another. Both ill but we just took iy in turns to rest. I fully looked after our son alone for two weeks and him the same. You are family FFS and sorry but that involves putting yourself at risk when your partner is ill to relieve their pain and allow them to ill in peace. This would make me see a side of him that I could never unsee.

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