Ok kind of a long story but I'll try and keep to the point...
My best friend went into hospital on Thursday for a serious operation. It was all planned and we knew she would be in HDU for 3/4 days after the op and kept in hospital for roughly 2 weeks in total.
Of course we are all hugely worried about her, (she is very close to my ds and she and my dp have been friends for over 10 years) missing her loads and desperate to see her as soon as shes up to visitors. However, before she went in she made it clear that she categorically did NOT want people to visit her (except her mum) although a week or so before she was admitted she told me that she would see me (not dp or her bf of 6 months). I did not say anything to her bf as he was feeling a bit upset and sorry for himself that she didnt want him to visit and I dint want to hurt his feelings.
The problem is from practically the minute she was admitted all he (the bf) has spoken about is going to see her in hospital and trying to arrange for us to go up together. She is still very out of it on morphine etc and is still in HDU. I have tried gently to disuade him from this idea as she made it clear to me she didnt want to see him. He has now taken the hump with me and been pretty crappy with me over texts and I was a bit arsey bach tbh. I still havent told him that she wants me to see her and not him however.
Should I tell him I've to go and he has not? Should I just back away completely and if he goes then leave them to sort it out? Or should I go an stand guard outside her hospital ward with a guest list and keep the riff raff out? I'm feeling protective of her after such a traumatic operation and worried how she will cope with things over next few weeks but I'm worried I'll be portayed as being interfering and controlling - where as I am just keen to make sure her voice is listened to while she feels vulnerable!
Sorry for the rant - but please MN jury reassure me I am not being a cow!