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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel really worried about my son getting bus?

16 replies

Opal93 · 01/09/2021 15:12

As my son is ASD and is statemented he is eligible for school transport. Last year in p1 I decided to not let him get the bus as I felt he was just too young. He is very developmentally delayed. However this morning, the second day of P2 the bus turned up for him as his name was put down. I explained he doesn’t get it, and that I have decided to take him myself. Next thing my son was FURIOUS. He really wanted to go on it. I spoke with his teacher who said he is very curious about the other kids getting the bus and thinks I should try it. So I rang transport and he is getting it from Monday. I don’t know why but I just feel he’s so young ! I know he’s not on his own and is looked after on it, but I just am anxious! AIBU to feel this way?

OP posts:

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 01/09/2021 15:14

How old is P2? What not try for a week and see what happens? What is the worst that could happen?

EverybodyIsInteresting · 01/09/2021 15:15

Aaah, that tricky stage where the child is ready to be more independent, but mum isn't ready for that yet! I remember it well.

It will all be okay. And if he hates it, he can stop using it again.

Try not to worry.

FenceSplinters · 01/09/2021 15:16

The bus picked him up from home?

hatgirl · 01/09/2021 15:16

When you say 'bus' do you mean a small minibus/ people carrier type arrangement that goes door to door picking up eligible children and dropping them at the school door?

If it's that then you have very very little to worry about and if he wants to go on it I would let him. It's a safe way to start having some independence.

If by bus you mean a free travel card and he gets on a rowdy school bus with a load of NT year 10s (sorry not sure what they are called in the Scottish system) then yes I would have some reservations.

BlackeyedSusan · 01/09/2021 15:16

Completely normal to feel that way. Let him have a try...

HerRoyalNotness · 01/09/2021 15:18

My 4yo gets the bus to school for speech twice a week. Yes you do feel a bit nervous, but there is a helper on the bus. She’s a bit shy herself but always greets the driver with a high five, is helped into her seat/belt and off they go.

Dixiechickonhols · 01/09/2021 15:20

Can you get information about how it works from transport team to reassure you. I’d assume an adult on board as an escort and then the escort hands over to teacher. You might find it’s the same escort every day so that should reassure you too. Hope he likes it.

TillyTopper · 01/09/2021 15:22

You seem to say this is his school bus? If this is the case and it's not a public bus then surely he should be fine. I'd give it a go and see how he is, you can go back to taking him if it doesn't work out but it's good he wants to be more independent.

Original poster

Opal93 · 01/09/2021 15:24

FenceSplinters we were just about to leave for school and the bus arrived at my house to take him. And hatgirl yes it’s a minibus with other children in his special needs class.

OP posts:

Refereenotamum · 01/09/2021 15:26

Totally normal to feel that way even more so with a child with sen so don’t beat yourself up
Let him try it for all you know it will go brilliantly if not then you’re always there to take him yourself if needs be

soapboxqueen · 01/09/2021 15:29

My ds never used the school transport system which could be a minibus or taxi.

It was hard enough getting him into my car of a morning never mind getting into another vehicle with a chaperone (some are great, some not so much) and other very loud children.

If he's happy to go, then give it a try. If there are issues, then you can stop.

seaandsandcastles · 01/09/2021 15:31

YABU. Please don’t let your anxiety hold him back.

TuckMyWin · 01/09/2021 15:34

Where we live the catchment school is in the next village so there is a school bus (normal sized bus, not a mini bus) that picks the children up. It’s normal for them to get the bus from reception. It did feel daunting for me and a bit weird putting my 5 year old on the bus (some of the kids are just 4), but the bus driver is amazing, I think he’s my son’s favourite person 😊 Last year there was an unusual number of children starting school from our village who nearly all got the bus to school, so the bus was half full of 4/5 year olds - I nicknamed it the year R party bus and did feel a little sorry for the bus driver 😆
I think it’s good for the kids, builds independence in a safe way, and anything that gets me out of doing the school run gets my vote!

Streamingbannersofdawn · 01/09/2021 15:35

I would give it a go. My son has ASD and he caught the school bus. He had to cross a major road as well. I taught him how and actually apart from missing it once (faffing around) we never had any problems. I admit to being anxious about it though.

Past tense as he changed schools and has a taxi now.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 01/09/2021 15:36

I felt the same with DS2 (he also has ASD and developmental delay) who takes the bus to school. He was in nursery the first time.

But he was fine! He just started P3 and loves his bus. They sing songs and chat so it's a great way to start and finish the day.

It's totally normal to feel a little worried but just see how it goes.

gunnersgold · 01/09/2021 15:53

My son started at SN school in year 3 . I took him for a month then he got the bus from home . He loves it , I was sooo worried about it but they have chaperones and he will be fine . My son is like a toddler with limited speech but he copes !

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