Help - child screaming for 4 hours!

[LadyOfLittleLeisure]

Doing that annoying thing and posting on AIBU for traffic but seriously don't know what to do.

5 year old severe non verbal autism, prone to screaming fits and meltdowns. Doesn't seem unwell (no temperature, not clutching an area in pain etc) but has been screaming for 4 hours without stopping. Nothing is working. This does happen but not for this long. Would I be unreasonable to take him to a GP or something? He finds medical appointments very stressful so wouldn't want to put him through it unnecessarily.

If appointments are stressful I think I would be tempted to try calpol first, just in case he is in some sort of pain, prolonged crying can cause a headache which won’t help his distress.
I hope he settles soon

Calpol and could you safely get him in the car for a drive? A warm car, the low noise, vibration etc might help soothe him. Will he tolerate a big bear hug?

It wouldn't be unreasonable but I can see why you'd want to investigate every other option first!

Is anything different/weird/out of place today? Any change to who is/isn't around? What he can/can't do? Any favourite toy with dead batteries?

Oh bless him and you. Could you phone the doctor, maybe if the Dr is familiar/sympathetic to him they might be able to come out to him, even if that means just seeing him in the car park.

Not a hair caught around a finger/toe?

Would he settle in his bedroom, if it was dark and quiet?

?Ear ache.

Thanks, I'm going to try calpol if he'll take it. The only 'difference' I can think about is that his brother (also severely autistic) is upset about something- that we have identified and are trying to sort - and is constantly vocally stimming/melting down.

The whole house is extremely stressful now. I tried taking them out this morning which helped while they were out but started as soon as we came back.

He has epilepsy too but mostly absences, I wonder if he's getting seizures that we don't notice (auras?)

My son, with severe autism would scream and scream with ear infections. The first time when he was tiny he perforated his eardrum after waking up screaming during the night, once all the gunk was released he stopped. He never really pulled at his ears but if he was off colour we had his ears checked.

Oh bless him,.my eleven year old has severe autism and learning and is also non verbal, its so hard when you dont know whats wrong, i assume hes screaming in distress, my son shouts loudly and frequently, but generally happy shouts
Is he constipated?

The earache mentioned by another pp reminded me of a meltdown my DS had, he had a mild cold, hardly noticeable externally but congested. Every time he swallowed his ears crackled, and it drove him wild. He was the only one who could hear it. Could it be something like that? Would it be worth sitting him in a steamy bathroom with you?

Ear ache, constipated, congested are all now contenders - I feel like a detective 🕵️‍♀️

I'm going to give him a bath and some calpol to see if that works! Thanks for all suggestions

Cover your bases with medical/physical possibilities - calpol, quick check over where possible for any bumps and bruises or sore areas.

What would usually calm him? When my dd was younger and non verbal (also severe ASD), when she was very upset then the best thing to calm/soothe her was either reading rhyming stories or singing. There were times when I literally spent the whole day singing (and one unforgettable weekend where I sang Frère Jacques ALL weekend - if I stopped at any point she just screamed and screamed).

She found it incredibly hard when anybody around her was upset - it took her a very long time to be able to deal with her siblings being upset (and even now, age 17, she finds it hard and her anxiety will spiral if there is heightened emotion around her). I suppose I’m saying don’t underestimate the effects that his brothers difficult day might have had on him.

Deep pressure or stroking can help to soothe (sorry if I’m saying stuff you already know).

Sometimes, when all else failed and I couldn’t solve it, a nap helped dd1 (up until she was 4 or so, anyway - I’m not sure what age your ds is).

Are there two adults in the house? If so can you take one of the children out if you think the elder one may be impacting the younger one?

Hope things are better soon

Look for any loose teeth or back molars coming in too.

Do you get any help with the children? It sounds as if you should be entitled to respite care which may help if one gets upset by the other's behaviours.

How’s he doing op?

Thanks for checking back in - it was his brother winding him up! My DH took them out for a walk which distracted the eldest so he didn't make the noises and the youngest stopped screaming instantly!

I still find it surprising as the howling was a pure pain like screaming, as if he was being tortured (which is obviously the effect the noises have on him!) I have a plan to split them up tomorrow.

Yes, we do get respite but we've had to postpone the in house care because of several disastrous sessions (them screaming and attacking the staff) - although now I probably know what the cause is we might find a way to continue by separating them.

Ah thank goodness he calmed down and you know what it was. Poor little mite. Well done you and DH.

Pleased you've solved the mystery, OP. Wishing you a good night's sleep!

I can confirm that some noises are incredibly painful on the ears. It is difficult to describe but it is like ear ache( pain) plus pressure, (uncomfortable and distressing) combined with being incredibly pissed off. (Like raging PMT)
(Autistic)

poor thing. No wonder he is screaming.

Do they have EHC plans?

Have you got noise cancelling headphones for him? We used to have regular ear defenders in school for some ASD children, but realised (after I’d bought myself a pair!) that they don’t actually block out all noise, so bought some noise cancelling ones - they worked a treat!

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

Thanks for checking back in - it was his brother winding him up! My DH took them out for a walk which distracted the eldest so he didn't make the noises and the youngest stopped screaming instantly!

I still find it surprising as the howling was a pure pain like screaming, as if he was being tortured (which is obviously the effect the noises have on him!) I have a plan to split them up tomorrow.

Yes, we do get respite but we've had to postpone the in house care because of several disastrous sessions (them screaming and attacking the staff) - although now I probably know what the cause is we might find a way to continue by separating them.

Oh dear. This sounds like my son who has autism. I have misophonia too, so I sympathise with them as certain noises can cause me physical pain and nausea.

Does he have some ear defenders for when things get bad? DS has noise cancelling headphones for things like flights but he likes putting them on when noises around the house are annoying him. I gave him an old iPod with songs he likes on it so he can listen to that rather than focusing on the noise.

Yes they have EHCPs. He does have eat defenders but will NOT allow them to be put on