Moving house who was unreasonable

[Iguessyourestuckwithme]

During the pandemic family member 1 needed to leave their home and move back to the area they grew up in across the country (3 hour trip x 2)

Aware that family member 1 couldn't drive, Family member 2 offered to come and collect them with their belongings and bring them back. Family member 1 was thankful but was aware of the distance so asked if they were OK with this, having looked into other options of moving items back.

Member 2 explained they had a large car and it was no problem and set a date for moving. Family member 1 was happy to move on any date and allowed family member 2 to say when was best for them.

Family member 1 takes photos of all items in the home and stream lines it. Family member 2 says its OK we have a big car and a trailer it will all fit.

The day before moving family member 2 calls and asks if there is any option for family member to stay in their home any longer, family member 1 explains that if they're busy that's okay they still have some time left in the flat so can work around family member 2.

Family member 2 says oh no were still coming tomorrow but we've decided not to take the trailer that might help us and I'm bringing another adult so there might not be any space in the car for you so you can stay in your accommodation over night and I'll collect you tomorrow or you can get the train (into and out of Central London 4hr trip)

Family member arrives with friend, items don't fit into car due to lack of space as 3rd adult has to sit in the back with the belongings and so family members has to get rid of belongings just to fit in the car.

Is it okay to offer to help someone move and leave them behind or should family member 2 have come down without a friend to assist allowing space. There were photos sent all week long off how many items and a trailer was offered but didn't materialise and if friend hadn't come along their would have been space.

Surely the answer was to agree to the suggestion by FM2 that they repeat the trip next day and collect FM1 and the remainder of the belongings? FM1 was still able to stay in the flat. The alternative would have been to arrange a courier to collect the rest of the stuff and get the train.

It's annoying that FM2 offered a certain genre of help and then changed it late in the day but it was quite a big favour. FM1 should have been more proactive rather than disposing of their possessions in a panic.

" family member 1 explains that if they're busy that's okay they still have some time left in the flat so can work around family member 2."

That seems to me to be saying that there isn't a problem if it can't all be done on the day specified. They're doing you a favour, and they've offered to make a second journey the next day.
If they'd said in the first place "yes, but we'll need to make two journeys on two separate days", you'd probably have been quite happy.

It was annoying but FM2 said theyd do a second trip the next day so that's what should have happened. Don't know why FM1 started throwing their stuff away.

This seems very much written from the perspective of FM1 (op?), but FM2 has been very reasonable in offering such major help and was clearly told that there was no urgency to get it all done on that day.

Driving a trailer isn't a walk in the park, so it's unfair to complain they didn't bring it. They brought a big car, petrol, themselves, and free labour!

The alternative, if FM2's help wasn't good enough, was to pay a removal van- which clearly FM1 didn't want to do, soooo...

Also, to be clear, FM2 offered to drive BACK AGAIN to pick up FM1, when FM1 could have got a train- getting a 4 hour train is small fry compared to what most people have to go through with moving home.

The more I think about it, the more unreasonable 'FM1' is becoming.

Ultimately, 'FM1' wanted to be taxied with their stuff, so threw belongings away in what seems to have been more of a 'point making' exercise. They could have sent all the stuff in the car, with FM2 (who was driving 6 hours to help them!) and got a damned train. FM2 even offered to drive ANOTHER six hours to collect them the next day.

FM1's behaviour and expectations of others are weird.

Hmmm. It's annoying when things change and you think you have a plan. But it's very difficult to predict what will fit into a car. Even if you measure up, until you start loading it's hard to see. Since FM2 offered a return trip to help, I struggle to understand why FM1 didn't simply stay another night with their stuff that didn't fit first trip . Or if it had been left to the very last day, Which it doesn't sound as FM1 said S/he had more time in the flat.

Why did FM1 have throw belongings away? If FM2 was happy to come back, could they not have been kept in the house overnight? Or could FM1 not have not travelled with the car, put their belongings in and got a bus/train to their new home? Or gone along with the original plan and stayed overnight and got a lift the next day?

So fm1 chose to throw items away so they could fit in the car, rather than get the train or be taken the next day?

Telling fm1 to get the train is a bit off. Looking at a 3 hour trip I do regularly, it would have been ridiculously expensive last minute to buy tickets. Fm2 offered a trailer, why not therefore bring the trailer, especially when fm1 kept saying exactly how much stuff he/she had? I think fm2 was unreasonable.

Fm1 Does seem to be getting a hard time on this thread, It says they looked at alternative methods of transport in the OP but doesn't say if they were willing to go with an alternative in this case. My AIBU really does depend on which the OP would have been prepared to do.

I have been in Fm1 position in the past were someone has offered to "rescue or save me some money" and do something similar when in reality it would have been cheaper and less stressful to pay for the alternative method. I now just tell well meaning helpers I have the situation covered and pay a third party.

In my case the well meaning individual used it as a form of control over the situation they wanted the public glory of the help they were providing, while later in private providing a bill for their services which was far greater than the 3rd party had quoted and not mentioned prior to their deed.

I hope FM1 and 2 are able to work out any differences.