To feel a bit hurt by my dad?

[malificent7]

Posted about this before but in relationships.
I always loved art and did a btec...dad advised me not to pursue it as a career due to financial instability etc.
On the btec i met a friend...great artist...far better thsn me but quite competetive in other ways...over men etc.
So i didnt pursue my art degree...did other. " sensible" careers...hated teaching...gave it up...jys retrained for nhs career.
When mum died...dad got with arty friends mum and so arty friend was now step dd. He has been very supportive of arty friends career...even driving her to galleries etc. Goes on about how amazing her work is. While i am proud of her I do feel sad for myself and a bit hurt that he didn't encourage me. I might jot have been as good as her but friends said i am talented.
I recently retrained...i got 99% on exam...dad said the exam was too easy.
I got a 1st on my degree...arty friend said that science was easier than art to do well at.
Just feeling hurt by the lot of them..i do miss art and tbh i find the work place hard as am rubbish at politics so would love to work from home doing something i love like friend does. I might need councelling at this rate. Its too late for me career wise.
Drip feed...dad got a place art art college as a young lad but turned it down for a career in science as more stable.

Sorry for typos

Sorry to hear this. I think you're right to feel hurt. Also he was probably wrong about the stability thing. 2 of my cousins did fine art degrees and are now earning a LOT more than me (teacher) as there is a lot of money in design/graphic design and digital art like app design nowadays.

Hopefully he was genuinely trying to help you make what he thought was the best choice, but I can see why it's hurtful now he is being like this towards the other girl. Perhaps he was trying to validate his own choice/
/regret (?) of not pursuing art himself.

Have you spoken to him about it at all?

I think the first one is forgivable. It’s much easier to be supportive of someone already established in a career than someone who is not and you have no idea if he would have said the same to step DD had he known her when she was a teenager still at school. And he’s right, it is a career that’s financially unstable and you really don’t know what your circumstances would have been if you did it. Had you, you could very well be posting an AIBU today lamenting that you didn’t go for a safer option and now how it’s too late…

The other things are bullshit. How does your dad know the exam was too easy? Was he there and he took it too? Or write the questions? As for the friend, I would have asked her a complex Science question and then started to draw or paint something whilst she struggled to answer the question.

Don’t give either of them much more thought about this. Just do you.

I wont talk to him about it...will be defensive.