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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report to social?

152 replies

notsurewhattodoforthebest · 30/08/2021 09:17

I'm not sure what to do for the best. I'm concerned about a neighbour and their child but I'm also not in the business of reporting people and spilting up families.

This particular child was outside last night (they are 8 by the way for context) playing with a sharp kitchen knife stabbing rubbish in the street. I saw what was happening and asked if there mother knew. She shouted out the window "it's fine I said they could."
When I say kitchen knife, I mean a very sharp one that could easily kill someone.
This child is allowed to do whatever they like, regularly plays with air soft BB guns in the street, climbs on peoples cars and damages them (has damaged mine in the past - yes I made their mother pay and rightfully so!) Basically just never supervises them at all can't even do the school run so they are known to the local police as the child does regular dissapearing acts.

AIBU to report this to social? I'm shocked and felt sick when I saw them to the point I watched from my window incase they stabbed them selves.

OP posts:
Peanutsandchilli · 30/08/2021 10:58

Some of the responses on here are mind-boggling. The facts are that a young child was playing with a kitchen knife. Regardless of whether they were being threatening, or whether they were innocently stabbing rubbish, it shows incredibly shit parenting and should be reported to ss.

ThreeLittleDots · 30/08/2021 10:59

Carrying a pointed and bladed item in public for no good reason can be an offence. An ex got a caution for this when he was stopped whilst drunk. It was a work knife in his pocket, used for opening boxes.

Muchasgracias · 30/08/2021 11:00

@WhaleyAwesome

If they are known to the local police that social services will already be aware.

Some children are taught to use knives safely (this was clearly not the case with the BB gun); an eight year old in hours would be comfortable using a knife safely.

How do you know the knife was very sharp? You cannot actually tell that unless you feel it, or use it to cut with things.

No one is going to be killed by a child stabbing rubbish with a knife.

Knife skills are important, and are in many countries developed from pre schooler age - also in many families with helping to prepare and cook meals.

Are you for real?

A child taking a knife out on the street, using it as an accessory/toy, stabbing rubbish etc, unsupervised…is EXACTLY what can lead to the misuse of knives amongst young people. Total disrespect for a sharp weapon, seen as something cool to mess about with. It could so easily fall into the wrong hands in these circumstances.

This child sounds so far away from having just safely learnt to chop carrots!!

I’d report, OP.

OctaviaTriangle · 30/08/2021 11:05

Just when you think you've read all that Mumsnet has to offer, along comes @WhaleyAwesome to blow you away with the biggest load of shit I've read Grin

Don't , whatever you do, take advice from that one op!

You have concerns and they're valid. Don't second guess who may know what .. report to social services and continue to do so every time you see something of concern. It's ALL of our responsibility to ensure children are safe and protected

m0therofdragons · 30/08/2021 11:07

@WhaleyAwesome are you kidding? I have great knife skills but if I went in the street with a knife in my hands stabbing rubbish I’d likely be arrested! What an utterly bizarre parenting justification. My dc are also fine with knives in a kitchen setting but running round the streets? That’s not okay and I’m baffled anyone thinks so.

Besswess88 · 30/08/2021 11:07

If reported, at best the neighbour will get a phone call from someone like me to discuss this, and it will be closed at contact.

Neighbour will then be very fucked off as anonymous or not will know who has “reported” her.

Maybe better scenario, neighbour has conversation with neighbour, relationships are built and better understand of circumstances/culture, rather than writing each other off and expecting services to parent society.

TheWeatherWitch · 30/08/2021 11:08

This happened last night. Not much point in reporting it to anyone after the event.

If you see him playing with a knife again, ring the police and say there’s a youth outside with a knife. They will respond.

dworky · 30/08/2021 11:08

No-one should be waving about a knife on the street. Why didn't you call the police?

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 30/08/2021 11:09

The child is not “brandishing a weapon” the child is stabbing rubbish with a knife.

A knife IS a weapon, whether the child is using it as such or not. It's a knife out on the street where they do NOT belong. It's an accident waiting to happen if nothing else. Jesus what is so hard to understand.

Besswess88 · 30/08/2021 11:10

@TheWeatherWitch

This happened last night. Not much point in reporting it to anyone after the event.

If you see him playing with a knife again, ring the police and say there’s a youth outside with a knife. They will respond.

Yes let’s criminalise the child Hmm
Besswess88 · 30/08/2021 11:11

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

The child is not “brandishing a weapon” the child is stabbing rubbish with a knife.

A knife IS a weapon, whether the child is using it as such or not. It's a knife out on the street where they do NOT belong. It's an accident waiting to happen if nothing else. Jesus what is so hard to understand.

A knife is not a weapon, a knife is a tool for cutting.
WhaleyAwesome · 30/08/2021 11:13

@ThreeLittleDots he shouldn't have been done for that - it was a knife carried for good purposes - a work knife.

(And No, i am not kidding to all asking)

If the OP was genuinely worried about this child or anyone else's lives she should have done something about it then - 999 or intervened and removed said knife. Instead she curtain twitched and then came and posted on mumsnet about whether to report it or not.

@m0therofdragons nothing in the OP states child was running around the streets...

This is a really big ongoing problem with mumsnet; when people post any elaborate backstory involving the police / SS people automatically assume the very worst of said family / child and it becomes "report mania" after the incident is over - if you genuinely believe people are at risk report via 999 immediately.

It's really not that hard to grasp.

cricketmum84 · 30/08/2021 11:14

I still can't get over that first comment! Seriously what planet are some people living on ConfusedConfusedConfused

WhaleyAwesome · 30/08/2021 11:15

@RockingMyFiftiesNot No a knife is not a weapon - it may be used as a weapon, but in the vast majority of house holds, and work places and incidents where they are being carried on the streets (ie Chefs carrying knives to work because they are expensive and Chefs are pretty fussy about using their own knives) - they are not weapons.

Besswess88 · 30/08/2021 11:15

This thread is everything that is wrong with society.

No one takes responsibility, no one builds relationships with their community, yet everyone jumps to conclusions and judgements based on absolutely no evidence.

ManifestDestinee · 30/08/2021 11:17

A knife is not a weapon, a knife is a tool for cutting

Ask anyone who's been stabbed if a knife is a weapon or not. Hmm

Also check out the law on "possession of weapons" and see the pages on knives. It's illegal to carry a knife in public without a good reason, and stabbing rubbish is not one.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 30/08/2021 11:17

[quote WhaleyAwesome]@RockingMyFiftiesNot No a knife is not a weapon - it may be used as a weapon, but in the vast majority of house holds, and work places and incidents where they are being carried on the streets (ie Chefs carrying knives to work because they are expensive and Chefs are pretty fussy about using their own knives) - they are not weapons.[/quote]
Don't know many 8 year old chefs

Besswess88 · 30/08/2021 11:18

@ManifestDestinee

A knife is not a weapon, a knife is a tool for cutting

Ask anyone who's been stabbed if a knife is a weapon or not. Hmm

Also check out the law on "possession of weapons" and see the pages on knives. It's illegal to carry a knife in public without a good reason, and stabbing rubbish is not one.

I don’t know anyone who has been stabbed.

Everyone I know uses a knife on a daily basis as a piece of cutlery.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 30/08/2021 11:19

I don’t know anyone who has been stabbed.

That's alright thenHmm

ManifestDestinee · 30/08/2021 11:20

I don’t know anyone who has been stabbed

Bully for you. Does that mean they weren't stabbed, they just somehow got bits of their body accidentally around cutlery?

(also, kitchen knives, sharp knives are not cutlery)

Suzi888 · 30/08/2021 11:20

@WhaleyAwesome

If they are known to the local police that social services will already be aware.

Some children are taught to use knives safely (this was clearly not the case with the BB gun); an eight year old in hours would be comfortable using a knife safely.

How do you know the knife was very sharp? You cannot actually tell that unless you feel it, or use it to cut with things.

No one is going to be killed by a child stabbing rubbish with a knife.

Knife skills are important, and are in many countries developed from pre schooler age - also in many families with helping to prepare and cook meals.

Hmm Erm yes I would report it. Stabbing rubbish in the street? An adult can’t carry a knife ffs, why would you think a child can?
Besswess88 · 30/08/2021 11:21

@ManifestDestinee

I don’t know anyone who has been stabbed

Bully for you. Does that mean they weren't stabbed, they just somehow got bits of their body accidentally around cutlery?

(also, kitchen knives, sharp knives are not cutlery)

Yes they are cutlery.

This is absolute hysteria

ManifestDestinee · 30/08/2021 11:22

No, they aren't.

cutlery
/ˈkʌtləri/
Learn to pronounce
noun
knives, forks, and spoons used for eating or serving food.

EATING or SERVING. Cutlery is tableware. Kitchen knives are not cutlery. And legally, they can very much be called weapons. And its illegal to carry one in public without a good reason.

Get back in your box.

WhaleyAwesome · 30/08/2021 11:24

@Suzi888 Actually an adult can carry a knife - and many do daily, and it's legal.

So perhaps check your facts? It's mentioned a lot in this thread already...

I witnessed a stabbing - a very violent one - unfortunately one of the young people involved had no idea, absolutely no idea, how much damage a knife could do - because they had never handled one. I was absolutely dumb founded by this.

As an aside, do all of you put your used knives in the bin or recycling centre when finished with them?

ManifestDestinee · 30/08/2021 11:25

@Suzi888 Actually an adult can carry a knife - and many do daily, and it's legal

Only with good reason.