Engagement

[Mlf93]

My brother proposed to his gf last week, who I love and get on really well with, and I am so excited they are getting married! I am quite close with him but know obviously he was not obliged to tell me of his plans to propose. He didnt tell our mum though either. Its just him me and my mum so not a huge family. However he proposed in a restaurant in front of all her family and they knew beforehand & bought banners and gifts. AIBU to be a bit upset that we couldnt share in that moment with them too or at least had an idea of his plans?

Men don't think like us women .

And who knows maybe he has discussed proposing in general conversation with his fiancé and she may of said she would love her family to be there

Yeah weird he told all her family, also (not your point but) if I was her I’d be livid them all knowing before she did, why does a proposal have to be such a performance

Did he do the old fashioned thing of speaking to her Dad first?
Do you know why you wasn't invited, was it a family occasion on her side?
Perhaps he's setting expectations and a clear message that he's grown up and becoming completely independent?
It would hurt as a Mum, but I'd respect my child's decision.

The occasion was the engagement

You're overthinking it. He had to do something. He decided she would like it in front of all her family.

I mean I'd hate that but there we go

Banners and gifts!!! Sounds hideous! A proposal is for the two people involved, not a spectacle. I also think the idea of asking permission is archaic; DH didn’t ask permission and we married decades ago.
Maybe her family are very traditional in their views. Don’t let this spoil your relationship with your brother; be happy for him and move on

I’d be thankful I was spared the whole ‘proposal as spectator sport’ extravaganza. How tacky.

Ugh big my brother told me he intended proposing and invited me to watch I would be desperately trying to get out of it. Public proposals are tacky, IMO.

if my brother, that should say

I'd be so embarrassed if I were her. Why couldn't it have been a private affair?

Sounds like he arranged the proposal to be all about her... his future wife. Honestly, what was he thinking?? YABU.

@BaconAvocado

You're overthinking it. He had to do something. He decided she would like it in front of all her family.

He didn’t have to make it such a performance, he could’ve just asked her, it’s not compulsory for proposing to be anything more than a couple deciding to get married.

@LawnFever I agree. It sounds ridiculous to me. But he had to do something to propose. Even if it's just say "hey fancy getting married?" And he decided (for whatever reason) that what his fiance would like is to be proposed to in front of her family.

(That or he thought she would be less likely to say no if pressured that way)

Oh fit god sake, it's not about you or your mum. It's about him and his wife. Their decision, not yours.

(That or he thought she would be less likely to say no if pressured that way)

So true, a woman I used to know was proposed to in front of her entire family at a Christmas party, she’d actually been considering leaving him but felt she had to say yes with the pressure of the crowd, she finished with him the next day!

@hashbrownsandwich

Oh fit god sake, it's not about you or your mum. It's about him and his wife. Their decision, not yours.

Wasn’t his fiancé’s decision though, just his.

Unless it was one of those ridiculous situations where they’d agreed to get married but then had a staged ‘proposal’, cringe if so.

Well, I can see while you feel a bit ‘out of the loop’ but honestly I think you’re probably overthinking this. I expect he just thought that’s the proposal she would like, surrounded by her own family, and so that’s what he did. Try not to let this mar a happy occasion for your brother, it’s no reflection on you or your mum imo.