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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I am actually addicted to my phone?

49 replies

clemintineharrowdyne · 29/08/2021 22:09

I cannot put my phone down. I cannot remember the last time I watched a film or any tv without having my phone in one hand playing a game or scrolling. Same when I'm reading a book, can't concentrate, picking my phone up every 2 minutes. I go so fast from app to app even when I've just been on it two minutes before and know I've not missed anything.

I say to myself that i will put my phone down and the next minute I'm back on it. If it's not in my hand being played with I honestly don't know what to do with myself. My hand feels like it needs to be doing something.

The worst is playing the game, I'm able to absentmindedly play the game whilst watching whatever is on tv and pay attention but I genuinely feel like now I can't watch tv without my phone.

I'm averaging about 9 hours a day on it (I am a student and it's still the summer) and it's really starting to impact my day to day life. I literally feel like my arm has been cut off if it's not in my hand.

AIBU to think I have a serious addiction to my phone? What can I do about it?

OP posts:
Original poster
clemintineharrowdyne · 29/08/2021 22:10

I also find myself wanting to be on it rather than with people and get irritable if someone is trying to speak to me when I'm on it.

OP posts:
BlaiseAnais · 29/08/2021 22:14

I could have written your post.

I'm wanting to make a conscious effort to not do it.

I have hobbies etc but I have the compulsion to intermittently look at my phone ever 10 mins or so.

It's annoying

Suzi888 · 29/08/2021 22:15

Turn it off, shut it down and physically put it away.

Tee20x · 29/08/2021 22:17

First post is me. As we speak my TV is on for background noise and I am on my phone as I am for the last few hours before bed. It's got so bad that I put on shows that I have watched before just so that I don't have to focus and be on my phone.

That said though, if I am in the company of others I can put it away for hours and often forget where it is so maybe I'm not that bad... or so I tell myself

AppleKatie · 29/08/2021 22:17

I’m the same OP.

I’ve tried a range of things and failed miserably.

PivotPivotPivottt · 29/08/2021 22:18

I'm exactly the same. I go to bed at night and can't sleep because I have a sore head which is down to staring at the screen too much. I get anxious when I haven't been able to check it in a while.

Planty13 · 29/08/2021 22:19

Find hobbies that mean you cannot use your hands. I started with puzzles. Crochet? Drawing? I walk a lot too and tend to put it away then.

I get you. I am watching a movie now and have my phone out but thanks to the above my daily screen time is dramatically lower

stayathomer · 29/08/2021 22:19

Last year I had covid and was stuck in a room for 2 weeks on my own. I decided then to start detoxing from my phone. I'm a blogger and author and live on social media and the same as you, was getting irritable, eyes sore, headaches at times. It was a cold turkey thing. I turned up the sound in case anyone phoned and told all my friends I couldn't use my phone for a while. I stuck on a series on Netflix and put my phone in a drawer. I did end up taking it out from time to time but when I went outside for example I'd leave it a distance away and just look around. It's so hard to do because you feel a bit bored or irritated but then I just started appreciating it all and started just sitting no phone next to me. I also started back properly reading. At night I put it away from my bed and slept better than I had in years. I'd say it took 2 weeks before I started being relaxed without it and it was a few more weeks before I eased back in but even now I'm definitely not on the same level. It's so so so hard op but you can do it!

Bibbetybobbity · 29/08/2021 22:21

One thing that I’ve found works is putting my phone on the carpet in the middle of the room. It means I have to make a conscious effort to get up and check it and stops the mindless scrolling… Ive also started charging it overnight in another room because other I’m glued to it when I wake it. It’s bloody hard and so addictive!

LawnFever · 29/08/2021 22:22

Oh my life I could’ve written your post, I’m actually driving myself mad with it!

I have a pile of books I want to read but I can’t concentrate more than a few pages and here I am on my bloody phone again!

I think tomorrow I’m going to leave it somewhere and try not to bugger about on it all day, it’s so damn senseless, it’s like I feel as if I’ll miss something

garlictwist · 29/08/2021 22:24

I don't think I'm addicted as such as I have plenty of hobbies and read a lot. But if I'm bored and not doing anything then I will scroll through my phone for ages. It's such a waste of time and I wish I didn't do it.

LemonViolet · 29/08/2021 22:25

Do other things with your hands. I get cross stitch kits and jewellery making kits and do those whilst watching tv or listening to radio. Or I build Lego models. Same idea, occupies your mind and hands.

Go outside and do some activity - go for a walk, run, bike ride, swim. Do some yoga or an exercise video.

Put more effort into meal prepping, cooking from scratch etc. That takes time and concentration. And is good for you.

Practice meditation. Even using an app!!!

And delete that game.

plodalong12 · 29/08/2021 22:27

Have you had a job before OP, or been in (non virtual) lectures where you can’t access your phone for hours? How did you manage this? Do you think it might be just a lockdown thing?

Miseryl · 29/08/2021 22:28

I am very similar! It is actually illegal to have our phones with us at work and it's a relief because it's the only time I get a few hours without it!

justasmalltownmum · 29/08/2021 22:36

Put timers on the apps so they get locked. We have this for social media and it gives warning before your time is up. Really handy.

Cactu · 29/08/2021 22:40

I put it at the bottom of my underwear drawer and leave it there. If the phone is near it’s been proven to be a distraction just by it’s presence. You need to put it out of reach and out of sight.

Sparklesocks · 29/08/2021 22:45

I think a good test for addiction is now you feel when you’re not doing that particular thing. It certainly sounds like addiction, if you feel anxious/irritable when you don’t have your phone then that’s a good sign that you are.

There’s an app called Flora - Green Focus where you grow a virtual tree when not using your phone and it dies as soon as you use it again. I know it sounds counter productive to use an app to manage phone addiction!! But it can help to focus your energy elsewhere.

Frazzledmummy123 · 29/08/2021 23:02

Omg, I had goosebumps reading this as I almost posted this exact same post today! I have noticed recently I am a little too attached to my phone, or rather the internet on it. I find myself checking my social media pages constantly, sometimes just minutes after already checking it. I too find himself feeing twitchy if not looked at it for a while, and get annoyed if someone talks to me when I am on it.

Lots of good advice on this thread which I am going to take myself. For me, a lot of it is boredom, and I know this because if I am very busy with something I don't miss it. I think we need to occupy our minds as much as we can and make phone use not as prominent a place in your daily life.

I have made a start by making a point not to look at my social media pages first thing in the mornings. You could gradually reduce your phone use in stages so doesn't feel such a culture shock? That is what I aim to do.

Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 30/08/2021 00:58

I've been like this since smartphones we invented and it just ruins my productivity.

Coachradley · 30/08/2021 01:07

Yes me too. I can’t even watch tv without going on my phone. I’m always itching to google something or social media.

ColonelNobbyNobbs · 30/08/2021 01:30

I’m okay with it if I’m actively doing something else like reading or out with friends etc but like you I find I can’t watch tv anymore without also playing candy crush or something - it’s actually really annoying especially if it’s a film or something i need to
Focus on. But like PP I find myself watching stuff I’ve seen before so I can play on my phone!

Alpenguin · 30/08/2021 01:35

“Smart” phones are designed to be addictive. The apps you use, the sites you visit, the people you interact with all form a picture of you and your behaviours for companies to use clever psychology to direct advertising to you. There’s a documentary on I think netflix (?) whose name evades me right now but it really made me think twice about how I use my devices when I realised how much the tech industry manipulates us using psychology and the brains reward system.

80sMum · 30/08/2021 01:41

@justasmalltownmum

Put timers on the apps so they get locked. We have this for social media and it gives warning before your time is up. Really handy.
I tried that but because it's me in control, I simply overrode it when I reached the limit!
80sMum · 30/08/2021 01:55

The trouble is that smartphones are a standard bit of kit for most people nowadays. Everyone expects to be able to contact others by messaging on WhatsApp, for example, and to send photos instantly. There's also that feeling of being constantly on stand by, ready for when someone pings a message or asks a question.
I used to leave my phone downstairs at nighttime. But then a couple of family crises meant that I needed it by the bed in case a call came and I was needed. Once or twice I answered a call which meant I had to get up at 3 in the morning and drive for 40 minutes to go and help. Ever since then I've had the phone with me at bedtime - and I've become more and more dependent on it for distraction.

Every now and then I attempt to cut down my usage of it, but I've never succeeded.

HungryHippo11 · 30/08/2021 02:00

I'm the same OP. Even when I'm playing with my kids I feel the compulsion to look at Facebook or just read meaningless crap. The guilt I feel is huge but I just can't stop.

I have been trying to so something else with my hands while watching TV, like paint by numbers or cross stitch I have done recently.

I have an app on my phone called off time which prevents certain apps being used, you can set it to be on at certain times and make it so you can't override. I still find myself trying to override it, or spending more time than I should in the "allowed apps" - things like Google maps, I find I'm reading reviews of places I went last week because that's an app which I can access. But I'm gradually getting a bit better, and I'm gradually increasing the time that its off and the number of restricted apps.

It doesn't help that my husband is just as bad, so in the evening we both just sit there watching TV and scrolling on our phones. It makes me so upset when I think about it but we just can't stop.

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