To not return to work?

[ohihateithere]

I've been off sick with hyperemesis, GP signed me off for another 2 weeks however i feel slightly pressured so I am forcing myself to go back tomorrow.

My manager has made no contact with me during my time off I have sent her email after email tried to call her she never picked up.
I told her I am returning on Monday and she never replied.

I know she has been in as I have received emails to our whole team.

Another thing that is bothering me I booked the morning of months ago to take DD & DS to the first day of school she told me I can't because there is no cover. Even though only one of the girls is off but she covers the other hospital not the main one I work at.

I am miserable as hell there we are badly understaffed however my manager seems to enjoy watching others suffer I believe she likes being in power.

OH can't see why I'm getting myself so worked up over a minimum wage job when we are not desperate for money and I can just go get another job tomorrow his words. He thinks I need something that works better for us a family.

I am NHS so I feel very guilty taking time off and if I was just to leave I would be putting my other colleagues under more stress. But then everyone else I work with is miserable and wants to leave but they are stuck.

I don't know what to do, sorry for rambling just need some real advice.

If you don’t need the money and it’s making you miserable, then take the 2 extra weeks the GP has signed you off (just contact the duty manager now and say you have got worse and can cannot come back) - and get looking for another job in that time.

Is it admin type thing? You will get a sense from agencies how much work is out there, and then you can decide to quit or keep going but give yourself 3 months to find something new. You could also look at other things like TAing or care work if they appeal.

Before you go, send an email to HR saying the woman needs some serious training and supervision.

On the one hand:
You're pregnant, ill, your doctor and husband think you shouldn't go to work, you don't need the money, working negatively impacts your mental health and family life, you have a shit manager who can't even be bothered acknowledging you.

On the other hand:
Er, some other people hate their jobs too?

This is a no-brainer surely.

Is it worth sticking with this job for enhanced maternity?

How many weeks are you? When would you be planning to go in May leave and have you been working there long enough to be eligible for May pay.

The answers y to i all of those would help me to make a decision if I were in your place.

If I were eligible for Mat pay and nearing Mat leave I wouldn't quit I'd wait it out.

I wouldn't go back next week though as the doctor has signed you off.

If your GP has signed you off work, in their opinion you are not fit for work, you should not be working, as you might not be covered for insurance purposes.
Unfortunately you appear to have a bad manager who does not seem able to do their own job.

Erm.... You doctor still has you signed off? My understanding is its against insurab e to go back when you are signed off.. Perhaps different in NHS but don't just presume you can go back .. Speak to hr

Argh.. Typos.... Insurance

If the doctor has signed you off I don't believe you can return to work

If the doctor has signed you off I don't believe you can return to work

This is not true.
It is also not an insurance problem in some industries (although may be in others).

I'm only 8 weeks, I will qualify for maternity pay from the government as I have worked more than 26 weeks including my previous job.

Well I wouldn't know as my manager hasn't even replied to the sick note I sent her. I
Thought I would just go back earlier so she might be alright with me then. But OH keeps saying my your only going to end up going off sick again.

Why are you forcing yourself back in??

How long have you been off?

You've been signed off sick, why are you forcing yourself back?

How many emails is email after email? Do they need a reply?

How many times have you tried to ring her?

How long is your notice period?

What about maternity pay? Seems silly to leave now and miss out on that.

YANBU to take the next two weeks off per the GP note. Bad bosses will always pressure an employee to come in, its their way of testing whether you’re really sick or not. If you go in, your boss with think youre not really ill and were putting on a show for the GP. The best choice is to follow doctor’s orders and stay home!

Normally, with feedback about it being a horrible place to work and a nightmare boss plus you don’t really need the money, I’d say resign the job. But due to how maternity leave works in UK, you might be better off just sticking it out until after maternity leave and then finding another job. But sticking it out could mean back to back sick notes until the baby is born. You can’t help that pregnancy is making you ill!

I had similar with DC#2 although it was from 25wks to the end. The way he was growing in my womb put pressure on my veins going from my legs back to my heart. So essentially, while working, my blood would pool in my legs and not go back to my heart to be pumped up to my head. My head would have no oxygenated blood...result I was fainting daily. This meant I could not drive, could not use public transport, and could not work. I was signed off by my doctor and only by bed rest with gentle moving around to shift the baby’s weight, and elevating my legs did I get through the pregnancy and to childbirth. I felt guilty too and pressure and boredom! But not every pregnancy is easy. Sometimes it takes all of you to grow that new human being and you should not feel ashamed or like you should be working/doing more.

I can’t see the nhs allowing you back when you’ve been signed off even if other industries do.

If your manager is not communicating with you, go straight to HR with your sick note and work with them. That’s not going over managers head, but sideways. HR is there for just such occurrences.

@Hobnobsandbroomstick I feel guilty and I guess because she hasn't been replying to
Me that has made me feel worse. It's all I'm
Worrying about day and night.

I've been off since the 10th of this month, I've emailed her my sick note, I emailed letting her know I have been trying to call her for two days, I emailed her to let her know that I will be returning on Monday. None of them I have received a reply too.

I rang her 18 times over the two days and I thought I'm not going to keep doing this when I'm supposed to be signed of sick.

My notice period is 4 weeks.

Problem is you are part of a vicious cycle - you are signed off sick so putting more pressure on your colleagues who then also become miserable at the pressure and staff shortages - maybe your boss has been too busy to reply due to the understaffing?

Also If there is no cover - which you admit is the case then it's not your bosses fault you can't have the first day of term off?

If you don't need the job then quit? Surely it's better that someone takes the job who is able to commit to it?

Don't feel guilty. You're not well enough to work atm, because you are a human, not a machine. If you died tomorrow then they would probably advertise for your job role the same day. Your health is more important than a job.

What sort of department is it? Is there not another number that you can ring and speak to someone to check that she's in work rather than working from home. My manager often doesn't reply to my emails straight away but sends out group ones to the department.

If you've been off since the 10th, then it's odd that no one has made contact with you to check how you are, it's weekly in our department (usually ring people on a Sunday to check in).

I wouldn't put your notice in: you will lose £1000s in maternity leave. You only have another 20 weeks until you can work from home or start your maternity leave anyway, if you are patient facing?

Contact HR and explain that the lack of contact is making you feel anxious and are wondering what the usual protocol is. Worse comes to worse, could you move departments? We have people moving about internally all the time.

@Herbie0987

If your GP has signed you off work, in their opinion you are not fit for work, you should not be working, as you might not be covered for insurance purposes. Unfortunately you appear to have a bad manager who does not seem able to do their own job.

Your gp thinks you are unfit to work and has signed you off. End of story.

Does your manager know that you are pregnant btw? Have they done a risk assessment yet?

This link is useful for your rights during pregnancy:
maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/

Make a record of anything that your manager says or does, try not to take anything personally or make any rash decisions.

If you're signed off you're signed off, as its pregnancy related you're also protected in law. Stay off until you feel better.

She's a dick and she's not helping your hyper emesis

Leave her to struggle

Return when you can and are fit

The nhs is broken anyway I'm exhausted of the lack of care I receive

Your baby is more important then her feelings

She need to be referred to HR