To think he has been looking at engagement rings?

[Nosuchthingas]

I've been with my DP for years, we have DC. Not married. I used to want to be, he didn't, so it was forgotten about. I haven't given it any thought for years.

I'm financially independent so no worries there. We rub along just fine.

Now over the past week I've been having alot of targeted ads come up on my devices, phone and laptop. Targeted ads for rings specifically.

I haven't looked at any such thing but I'm thinking he must have, because we use the same Wi-Fi so it doesn't seem out of the realms of possibility does it?

WDYT?

Have you read a thread on here about engagement rings?

Does it matter if he has? What would you say if he asked? Will you be disappointed if he didn’t ask?

@freedompeaches

Have you read a thread on here about engagement rings?

Nope, no engagement announcements among my friends or family either that I've commented on.

The question is, not has he been looking at rings, but do you want to marry him? If you do, have a conversation to that effect. Don't wait around in the hope he's going to spring a proposal on you.

Are you hoping your boyfriend will ask you? You're not really clear, other than saying you used to want marriage and seem to imply you don't now. If you don't want to marry your boyfriend just say no.

@MaskingForIt

Does it matter if he has? What would you say if he asked? Will you be disappointed if he didn’t ask?

It's not really a huge deal it's just got my cogs turning now

I'd likely say yes but wouldn't be dissapointed as it's not something I've thought about or hoped for in a long time.

If you want to get married just ask him

@Azerothi

Are you hoping your boyfriend will ask you? You're not really clear, other than saying you used to want marriage and seem to imply you don't now. If you don't want to marry your boyfriend just say no.

It used to be something that was important to me, but isn't any longer.

I'd likely say yes because I love him and we're a family but I'm still satisfied with my life the way it is, if I'm wrong.

You live with him and have DC so if you don't get married I'd arrange an appointment with a solicitor instead.

@BaconAvocado

If you want to get married just ask him

I wouldn't want to do that because he made it clear in the past he didn't want to get married, so I'd look like a bit of a twat in that case if I had got the wrong end of the stick.

I'd look like a bit of a twat in that case if I had got the wrong end of the stick no you wouldn't. Things change and you need to make sure you're protected in terms of legalities in case he dies or leaves you.

@BaconAvocado

You live with him and have DC so if you don't get married I'd arrange an appointment with a solicitor instead.

What for? I'm financially independent and don't rely on him for anything. I haven't sacrificed my career to be a SAHM for example.

If he dies?

Plus we rent and don't own, so no need for me to rush down to a solicitors to protect myself from anything.

I'm just a bit baffled by the sudden influx of ads for engagement rings and it made me curious.

God not this again. Why can't two people in a committed relationship have an adult discussion about marriage without all this ridiculous cloak and dagger.

If you want to get married, ask him again. If he says no you can make decisions accordingly. Taking an interest in a legal contract which can affect the rest of your life doesn't make you a twat, it makes you an adult woman with some agency over your life, not a deluded wannabe Disney princess.

The engagement ring -- if indeed he is even looking at one - is a huge red herring.

Fair enough.

@thepeopleversuswork

God not this again. Why can't two people in a committed relationship have an adult discussion about marriage without all this ridiculous cloak and dagger.

If you want to get married, ask him again. If he says no you can make decisions accordingly. Taking an interest in a legal contract which can affect the rest of your life doesn't make you a twat, it makes you an adult woman with some agency over your life, not a deluded wannabe Disney princess.

The engagement ring -- if indeed he is even looking at one - is a huge red herring.

Jesus Christ!

A conversation was had years ago, he didn't want to get married which I accepted and it was forgotten about.

I'm only 27 and he early 30's. We don't own property. I don't rely on him financially. It's not a big deal and hasn't been thought about in years.

Can somebody not express curiosity when suddenly bombarded by particular certain ads without their life being picked apart and dissected?

Would people not be a bit if adverts for, say, butt plugs started appearing everywhere?

You get my point.

I should have known better than to post on mumsnet admitting to being unmarried and cohabiting with children.

I don’t think the ads would come up just because of shared wifi. More likely you have read, clicked or written something online that has got you an ‘unmarried couple’ algorithm (I don’t actually know how algorithms work! But I am single and childfree, yet always getting adverts for nappies. I assume it’s because I spend time on mumsnet, and sometimes click on the parenty articles my friends share on Facebook.)

To add to my last post in response to why two adults can't have a conversation. If he was planning to propose I'm sure he would want the element of surprise, not me quizzing him on his search history.

@Cabbagewhites

I don’t think the ads would come up just because of shared wifi. More likely you have read, clicked or written something online that has got you an ‘unmarried couple’ algorithm (I don’t actually know how algorithms work! But I am single and childfree, yet always getting adverts for nappies. I assume it’s because I spend time on mumsnet, and sometimes click on the parenty articles my friends share on Facebook.)

Ah that sounds as though it makes sense!

I'm not very tech savvy myself so wasn't sure.

Can somebody not express curiosity when suddenly bombarded by particular certain ads without their life being picked apart and dissected?

Of course you can express curiosity about whatever you like.

But, with respect, you put your situation on here for discussion and dissection. You can't expect people not to have opinions if you put it out there for discussion.

I have no idea if your OH is looking at engagement rings. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't.

But this isn't the relevant point. What's relevant is you seem not to be able to discuss this important thing with your OH. Skirting around the discussion talking about engagement rings with strangers on the internet tends to suggest you're not communicating about this.

If you want control over your life and finances, take control and ask him.

You asked, we responded.

Oh, God, Love, Actually?

But this isn't the relevant point. What's relevant is you seem not to be able to discuss this important thing with your OH. Skirting around the discussion talking about engagement rings with strangers on the internet tends to suggest you're not communicating about this.

My point, and confusion, was because we have specifically discussed it some years ago.

Our communication is fine.

I know this was years since you posted @Nosuchthingas but same thing is happening to me now, every site I go on has ads for engagement rings. One ring even had my name 🧐
Not sure if you'll even see this but curious to know, did your partner propose?